By Your Leave
by Jonesn
Summary: Honorably discharged Sergeant Major Edward Cullen meets widow Bella Black and her young son Seth. The ad says room for rent, but maybe they have more to offer each other than just space. *WINNER* Awards inside. *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Summary: **Honorably discharged Sergeant Major Edward Cullen meets widow Bella Black and her young son Seth. The ad says room for rent, but maybe they have more to offer each other than just space.

* * *

**A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! **Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759 **for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! Thank you to my pre-reader** FemmeCullen **for being so awesome and offering great feedback! Thank you to all who voted for me! It's a real honor! Everyone did so fantastic!

* * *

**By your leave, Sir / Ma'am: **Marine term definition – Stated when overtaking a senior officer in rank proceeding in the same direction.

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**Chapter One**

**September 21, 2011 **

The first day of Fall

**_Bella_**

The abundant green leaves on the trees outside our window were rapidly changing. Little by little, becoming ablaze, turning crimson red and fiery gold, and then just as quickly falling to cover the ground.

I close my eyes to the signs of what used to be my favorite season.

Fall now comes with a nip in the air that both chills and warms my heart. This time of year has since become a bittersweet memory.

I'm torn with thoughts of soft oversized sweaters, warm apple cider, and cuddling on the front porch swing. Now it seems that the sweater is itchy. The warm apple cider turned sour, and there will be no cuddling.

As I play with a loose string hanging from the sleeve of my sweater, I think about him, and how this was his favorite. He loved when I wore it.

I think about the last time he saw me in this sweater, and a painful smile forms on my lips.

It was the first day of fall.

The last day I saw him.

Almost six years ago.

"_Babe, if you didn't look so good in this I would tear it off of you with my teeth, and wreck you on this countertop." _

He may not have had a way with words, but he did have a way with me, and I missed it. I missed him. I missed him so much.

_Lifting the sweater over my head, he watches as I fold it neatly and place it on a chair. It is his favorite after all. "The sweater's safe. You were say-" His mouth cuts me off, while his arms wrap around me to unhook the clasp of my bra. _

We first met at sixteen, and I knew I loved him then. We married two years later when he decided to join the Marines. He felt it was his duty to follow in his father's footsteps, and I would have followed him anywhere. He was strong and courageous. I was so proud of him.

I am still so proud of him.

_Leaving wet kisses down my neck he pulls the straps from my shoulders and it falls to the floor. His large, strong hands snake under the waist of my pants to palm me as he takes a hardened nipple into his mouth._

He had just finished basic training and was being deployed the next day. With only twenty-four hours left together, I took as much of him that I could get, and I took it as many times that I could get it. We touched and kissed all day and all night. We didn't sleep. We couldn't.

_My chest heaves, pushing my breast further into his mouth and he flicks the sensitive nipple with his tongue. I gasp, and he lifts me to lay on the countertop, yanking the remaining clothing from my body._

He made love to me on that countertop.

On the floor.

On the couch.

On the bed.

He had always had a fantasy of taking me outside, and I made that fantasy come true in the early morning hours right out there on our front lawn.

I wished for the night to never end, but it did. The morning that he left was the saddest, most precious morning of my short life.

_His bags are packed and sitting by the opened door. Dressed in his green and khaki service uniform, he takes my breath away. Bringing me close, he wraps an arm around my waist and cradles my face in his hand. He looks deep into my eyes. "When I come back I'm going to get you pregnant, Bells. Over, and over, and over again."_

"Mom!" I'm jolted back to reality by my son; our son, Seth. He's the blessed result of my last moments with Jake, and I thank God for him every day. I don't know what I would do without him and his constant reminder of how that part of my life was real. I look at him and I know Jake's memory will never fade.

"Out here, Baby." I hear his little feet as he runs toward the front door. His shoe laces slap against the hardwood floor and I know what he wants.

"Mom, will you tie my shoes? I can't get it." His lively brown eyes are wide and questioning.

To look at him, you wouldn't know that he was mine, except for those hazel brown eyes and long black lashes. His native dark complexion is a stark contrast to my alabaster skin. His cropped black hair is soft and shiny. The depressed bridge of his nose enhances the size of his plump, pink lips. He has his father's lips, and I can outline the start of a strong jaw. He looks especially like Jake today.

"Yeah, baby. Sit down here beside me. Do you remember the words?" Nodding, he smiles up at me. "Okay, let's say them together."

_"Build a teepee, go inside._

_Close it tight so we can hide._

_Over the mountain and around we go._

_Here's my arrow and here's my bow."_

With new found confidence, Seth does the other on his own while reciting the words I've taught him. He's a fast learner, like me, and heartbreakingly handsome, like his father. I know he'll go far in life with what we've given him.

"I did it! Look, Mom! I did it!" His enthusiasm reminds me of Jake, and my heart clenches, burns as I think of how proud Jake would have been of him, and I wish that he could be here. A boy should have a father to teach him these things. Jake should be here to teach him these things.

"Yes you did, little man! I'm so proud of you!" He lets me give him a hug, but breaks away before I would like.

He always does.

"Are you ready for school? Do you have everything?" I ask like I always do, receiving the same annoyed response he's given ever since starting kindergarten.

So grown, this one.

"Yes, Mom." He huffs, rolling his eyes; and that, he got from me.

Bending, I give him a kiss on the cheek, and he wipes it off.

My heart breaks, but just a little as we join hands and walk together in the direction of his school.

He's growing up way too fast.

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**Reapeat A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! **Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759 **for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! Thank you to my pre-reader** FemmeCullen **for being so awesome and offering great feedback! Thank you to all who voted for me! It's a real honor! Everyone did so fantastic!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! **

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759 **for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

**Early update, so show me some love! I wanted you all to meet Edward!**

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**_byl_**

**Chapter Two**

**_Bella_**

Rosalie Hale calls my name as I stand outside of Seth's school, and wave to him.

"Shit." I grumble, smiling, waving, acting like I don't hear her.

Rose single-handedly mans the gossip mill in and around this small town. Her long blonde hair, blue eyes, and impressive leg length are the qualifications that got her appointed. She seldom talks to me even though our sons are best friends, and I would bet next month's mortgage that she's caught wind of my money troubles.

"Bella, honey, I was calling your name. Didn't you hear me?" Rose questions, reaching out a hand, and turning me by my shoulder.

It takes all I have not to shrug her off, and swipe it away.

"Oh, Rose. Hi! No, I didn't hear you. I'm so sorry. How are you?" I struggle through the small talk, always have, but this is beyond unbearable. I can't stand this woman, and surely she knows it. No one can be that oblivious.

"That's alright sweetie, I'm good, but perhaps little Seth needs to tone it down a notch at home. You don't need to be losing your hearing along with your house." She stops to giggle at her incredulous joke, and I take a cleansing breath. "We all know how loud that crazy kid of yours can be." Slightly turning back toward her slew of stay at home moms, they all agree.

"In all seriousness, Bella, it was a smart move putting an ad in the paper for a room to rent, and I really hope someone takes you up on that soon. Sam would hate to see Seth go." She nods, picking a piece of lent off the wool of my sweater, and I smile.

At least, I think I do.

"Aw, thanks for the concern, Rose. I'd love to stay and chat, but I really should be getting back. Wouldn't want to miss out on any opportunity that could, ya know, save us from destitution or anything." This time we both laugh, and I turn away rolling my eyes.

_Trap-yapping cunt. _

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

The walk back from the school is the same as it always is, quiet, lonely, filled with satisfying scenarios of Rosalie Hales demise.

_What would she do if I were to just walk up and cut off a chunk of her beautiful, blonde hair?_

I wonder, picturing the look on her face, as I reach the house.

Looking up, my smile fades when I find a man sitting on our front porch swing.

Painful memories flood my mind when I notice what he's wearing.

Dress blues.

I have to stop to take a breath as I remember the last time I had a dressed military man waiting for me on my front porch. It was nearly six years ago. Not even three months after Jake had left.

_The lines on the stick were bright pink. It was positive. I had just sat it down when there was a knock at the door. _

_Making my way down the steps, I stop by Jake's picture, and kiss it like I always do. I couldn't wait to tell him._

_When I open the door, my blood runs cold. I forget how to speak, but I didn't have to._

_"Mrs. Black?" The dressed officer asks._

_My answering nod makes an unshed tear fall._

_"Mrs. Black, we regret to inform you.."_

"Hello? Ma'am?" Looking up, I'm taken aback by his striking, emerald green eyes, the sun kissed crinkles around the corners. He's older than the man who informed me about Jake, but more handsome. Then again, maybe that was because I knew he wasn't here to deliver devastating, life changing news.

"I'm sorry. Can I help you?"

"Uh, yes ma'am. I'm Sergeant Major Cullen." Standing, he shakes my hand, sending a shock up my arm, and down my spine to the neglected area between my thighs, and I do my best to try and hide my surprise. I guess it had been a long time since I'd felt anything down there. I know it's been a while since anyone's been down there. Not since Jake.

"I'm here to see about the room for rent." He removes his hat, and I take in the high and tight, remembering the first time Jake had to cut his hair. I hated it.

"Oh! Well, that's great because I've had that ad in the paper forever. Did you want to have a look around, Sergeant Major Cullen?" I ask, and he shakes his head.

My new found hope dwindles, desperate for this income, and he seemed so trustworthy, safe.. familiar.

"No, ma'am. That won't be necessary. I'll take it if you'll have me. And, please call me Edward."

Realizing I'm still holding on to his hand, I quickly drop it.

"Well, uh.. Edward, please call me Bella."

I don't think I'm quite old enough to be addressed as ma'am.

_Do I look like a ma'am? _

"Can I show you to the room? Uh, your room?"

Nodding, he bends to grab a cane I hadn't noticed, and when I try to help him with his bag he stops me.

"Thank you, Bella, but I can manage." I start when I hear my name in his deep voice. It had been awhile since I'd heard a man say my name. An attractive man. A _very_ attractive man at that.

"Oh, okay. If you're sure, it's this way." I hold the door open as he limps over the threshold, trying not to reach out to help him.

I want to ask if he's okay. I want to ask about his injury, but I doubt he would appreciate either, so I hold my tongue, thankful his room is on the first floor.

Once he's through, I walk ahead of him down the picture filled hall, opening his door. When he reaches me, he nods in appreciation before entering.

"Thank you, Bella." Smiling I nod, and he goes to shut the door, but I stop him, getting another pleasant shock when I skim the calloused skin of his hand.

"Just one more thing, Edward. I'm not trying to scare you off, but I do have a son. He's five, and he can be rather excitable, and exhausting." I huff a laugh at just how excitable and exhausting he can be.

"He'll hound you with questions day and night, and he'll probably consider you his new best friend, especially if he sees you in uniform." I size him up with my eyes, and a finger, finding it only fair to warn him.

And with a smile, he seals his fate. "Good to know, but I think I can handle it."

Smiling back, I nod, and turn away, saying a silent prayer for him and his patience.

_We'll see._

_We will see._

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**A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! **

**IMPORTANT! READ!: **This short story **was** going to be posted in 15 chapters and an epilogue. One chapter every saturday. However, I have decided to **add** to this story. So, the plan is to still post every Saturday, but there will be **new** chapters and additions to old chapters. Just call me a sucker. ;)

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759 **for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

**Early update! I needed to pass on the important info. Plus, I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to stay on schedule. Too excited!**

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**_byl_**

**Chapter Three**

_**Bella**_

Edward stayed in his room the remainder of the afternoon. I considered checking on him multiple times, but thought better of it. I didn't need him thinking I was a nosy pest, and run him off after one day.

I tried occupying my time by cleaning, but my mind kept going back to him, and I would find myself looking down the hallway at his door.

I wondered about him.

_Where is he from? Does he have any family? What's his middle name? Does he like chicken fingers?_ I was making them for dinner at Seth's request.

And, when the time came for me to pick up Seth, I wasn't sure if I should let him know that I was leaving. _Was that roommate etiquette? _

I could leave a note, but he may not see it. I didn't want him coming out to an empty house and have to search for me if he needed something. If it was me, I think I would want to know.

Making my way down the hall, I come to stand outside of his room, and press my ear against the door. I didn't hear anything, and I hoped he wasn't sleeping. I would feel terrible if I woke him.

Letting out a breath, I knock on the door.

Nothing.

I knock a little harder.

Nothing.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I let out another breath, and knock even harder. "Edward?"

Nothing.

When I turn to leave, I hear his muffled voice, and turn back to knock again. "Edward?.."

In hearing it again, I was pretty sure he had said to come in. Taking a chance, I open the door and peek into the room.

I shouldn't have.

"Oh, shit! I'm sorry, Edward.. s- sorry!"Slamming the door shut, I quickly walk back to the front room wishing I would have just left a note. _Why didn't I just leave a note?_

I couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't believe I just walked in on Edward.. naked! _Oh, God! So naked! _

When he comes out fully dressed I'm pacing the floor, and silently chastising myself for being so stupid. I was surprised he wasn't packed, and ready to leave. I would have been.

"Did you need something?" He questions with a smirk on his face. My face is burning, and I just want to disappear.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I thought I heard you say come in. I'm sorry." I've stopped pacing, but I'm holding my cheeks now, they hurt so badly. I can't remember the last time I'd blushed like this.

"Don't worry about it, Bella." He huffs out a laugh, and runs a hand through his short, copper colored hair.

"What did you need?" He asks, and I'm glad he doesn't seem embarrassed by the awkward situation I've put us in. In all honesty, there was no reason for him to be. He was nice to look at, and I'm sure he knew it.

"Oh, right.. I was leaving to go pick up Seth and I just wanted to let you know." Dropping my hands, I shrug.

"I wasn't sure if I should or not." He nods, and takes a step closer.

"You don't have to let me know when you're leaving, Bella. I'll be fine. Just go on with your normal routine." I nod, and take a step back. _I knew I should have just left a note. _

"Okay. Well, uh, are you going to be joining us for dinner? I'm making chicken fingers. They're Seth's favorite."

"Uh, yeah. That sounds good if it's not too much trouble." I shake my head. It's the least I could do for the show he just gave me.

"No. No trouble. You're welcome to have dinner with us every night." I offer, and he smirks at me again. It makes my heart flutter, and I have to fight the urge to grab my chest.

"Okay well, I'm going to go now and I'll be back. There is stuff to make a sandwich in the fridge to tide you over. Help yourself to anything except Seth's gummy fruit snacks. You'll never hear the end of it." Smiling, I open the door. I needed some air.

"Thank you, Bella. It's duly noted. Fruit snacks are off limits." Smirking, he turns to head back down the hall, and I watch him, turning to leave only after he closes his door.

_**byl**_

My walk back to the school was filled with thoughts of Edward. Edward's bottle green eyes. Edward's sharp jaw line. Edward's pouty, pink lips. Edward.. naked. I felt my cheeks heating up with the visuals flashing through my mind.

_Broad shoulders. _

_Narrow waist. _

_Back dimples._

_Round, firm ass._

Semper Fi was inked in black, blocked lettering across his upper back and when he turned, I could make out the black eagle, globe, and anchor, covering his left shoulder. I had a weakness for tattoos. The day Jake came home with his I wouldn't let him put his shirt back on. I was so turned on, I took him to bed three times.

Feeling immediate guilt over fantasizing about another man, I stop in my tracks. Not only was I fantasizing about another man, but a man that I blindly let live with us. What did it say about me that I was letting the first man I've found attractive since my late husband, live with us? _What would Jake think of me?_

Feeling like a terrible wife and mother, I thought about changing my mind, but what was I going to do? Kick him out? Then not only would I be a terrible wife and mother, but a terrible person as well. _No._ I'd just have to grin and bear it, try to control my thoughts, and stock up on batteries for my rabbit. It would be fine. It had to be.

_**byl**_

I was late when I reached the school, and Seth was waiting rather impatiently. With his arms crossed and a scowl on his face, he stomped over to me.

"Where have you been?" I had to stifle a laugh to not fuel the fire.

Kneeling down to his level, I handed him a package of his fruit snacks as a peace offering. The scowl turned to an over exaggerated grin as he snatched them out of my hand, but I still wasn't off the hook.

"Why were you late?" When I go to touch his hair, he swats my hand away.

"Do you remember me telling you how someone might be coming to live with us in the spare room?" He pops a fruit snack into his mouth and nods.

"Well, someone came to see the spare room today, and they decided that they want to live with us. I was showing them the house, and that's why I'm late." He thinks it over as he chews, then lays a hand on my shoulder.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A boy. Well, a man."

"Does he have kids?" His eyes light up in anticipation, and I realize I don't even know the answer to that question.

"You know, I don't know. He didn't have any with him, but we can ask him if he has any that might visit." His eyes dim a bit, but I can tell he hasn't lost all hope for playmates.

"Do you want to go meet him? He's going to have dinner with us." This excites him, and with a mouth full of fruit snacks he jumps up and down nodding his head. He stops when I grab his hand, telling him not to jump with food in his mouth, and we make our way back home.

As we walk, I wonder what dinner will be like tonight. It will be the first time that there is a third plate on the table. While it should have been for Jake it's for Edward, the stranger in the spare room. And, I find myself hoping that he's not a stranger for very much longer.

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**A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! Thank you to all the troops and their families! This story is dedicated to you and yours! Leave a review and show your support! **Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

***Additions to chapter***

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! **

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759 **for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

***Additions to chapter***

* * *

_**byl**_

**Chapter Four**

_**Bella**_

When we arrive back home Edward is sitting on the front porch swing. Seth yanks on my hand several times asking if that is him. And when I confirm that yes, in fact that is, he lets go of me and takes off running towards the porch. I can hear his questions from across the lawn.

"Hi! Do you like our house?"

"Are you going to be living with us?"

"My name's Seth William Black. What's yours?"

I pick up speed so I can hear Edward's answer. I knew kids were good for something besides filling your life with happiness and joy. They got you answers to the questions you weren't willing to ask yourself.

"My name's Edward Anthony Cullen." _Anthony. I like it._

"Hey Edward, do you like chicken fingers? My mom's making them for dinner and she makes the best! She said you're eating with us. Is that true?" I can't help but smile at the questions that are coming out of my kid's mouth, and the rapid rate in which he is asking them. They don't seem to be bothering Edward, and I am thankful for that.

"Okay, Seth. Why don't you come help me with dinner? You can put the chicken on the baking sheet and set the timer." He fervently nods his head while climbing down from the porch swing. Opening the door, he takes off for the kitchen, and yells for me to follow. It seemed this task would be distracting enough for now.

"I'm sorry, but I did warn you." Edward looks up at me with his breath taking eyes, smiling, and my heart stutters.

"Yes. Yes, you did." We both laugh, and I look down. I awkwardly cross my arms over my chest and rock from foot to foot. He made me nervous, but in a very good way. And, I am finally able breathe again when Seth calls out for me once more.

"Well, I better get in there. Dinner should be ready in about an hour." He nods in thanks, and I turn to join Seth in the kitchen. I had a feeling that dinner was sure to prove interesting. Edward living here was sure to prove interesting.

Joining Seth in the kitchen, I start pulling out everything we need to prepare dinner. "You know what, Mom?" Seth pulls on the sleeve of my sweater to get my attention, and I kneel down to his level.

"What, baby?" Cupping his mouth, he brings it to my ear.

"I like him." He whispers.

_**byl**_

Once the table is set and the food is ready, I call Edward to dinner. I fill both of their plates while Edward takes a seat. And just as I had expected, Seth wastes no time jumping back into interrogation mode. He was a professional at asking questions, and he prided himself on it. I for once was eager, and all ears.

"Hey Edward, do you have kids?" Picking at his chicken, Seth waits with an eager expression.

"No. No kids." Deflating momentarily, he quickly recovers. The kid was desperate for playmates.

"How old are you?" Edward lowers his fork full of mac 'n cheese from his mouth before answering.

"Thirty-five. How old are you?" He quickly takes a bite, and I watch him chew. I look away only when he looks over at me.

"Five." Seth holds up four fingers and I correct him. He ignores me.

"Are you married?" Seth places a piece of chicken to his mouth, but doesn't take a bite. He could be so strange sometimes.

"No, I'm not married." Edward goes to take another bite of mac 'n cheese, but is again interrupted.

"Have you ever been married?" Seth lowers the unbitten chicken, and licks the grease from his lips. That kid, and his grease. I shake my head. I needed to start feeding him better food.

"No. I've never been married." Edward takes a couple quick bites, and then washes it down with a large gulp of ice water. Poor guy was going to end up starving.

"Why not?" Edward looks to me and I shrug, telling him it's okay whether he answers or not.

"Well, I never met anyone I wanted to marry." Edward briefly looks over at me again before lowering his gaze to his plate, and picking up another fork full.

"Why not?" Seth repeats, and I realize that if I don't intervene soon, that we'll be stuck in the land of "why not" the rest of the evening.

"Seth, sometimes people just don't find someone they want to marry." I tell him flat out, and he taps his chin with his finger. He thinks it over before continuing.

"My mom found someone she wanted to marry. It was my dad, but he died. He was a Marine. Are you a Marine?" I can feel Edward looking at me, but I continue to stare at my plate. I had yet to take one bite.

"Yes. I was a Marine." His voice is considerably lower. Either that or the heart beat in my ears is muffling the sound.

"You're not a Marine anymore?" Seth's voice never wavers, so I know Edward has picked up on my discomfort. I didn't really want to discuss Jake in front of him. I wasn't really sure why, but I wasn't going to stop Seth. It was good that he could talk so openly about his father. His grandpa Billy had told him a lot about Jake.

"Well, I was honorably discharged, and that means I don't have to work with the Marines anymore." I look up from my plate to see that Seth still hasn't eaten any of his food. He was too focused on Edward, and was listening intently between every probing question.

"Why do you have a cane?" Seth pries, and my ears perk up.

Edward's eyes widen as he clears his throat. "Well, I was hurt in a fight and I have to walk with it until I get better."

"What happened?" I don't want Seth to upset him, so I speak up.

"Seth.." I start, but Edward stops me.

"No, Bella. It's okay. I don't mind talking about it, if you don't mind him hearing it." I shake my head. I was pretty sure I could trust Edward not to traumatize my child.

"I was shot in the leg. The bullet hit a bone and I had to have surgery to fix it. But, it will heal and I won't have to walk with the cane anymore." Seth stares at Edward in awe as he nods his head. If only his father had been so lucky.

"Did it hurt?" Seth asks, and then finally takes a small bite of chicken.

"Yes. It hurt very much." Edward finishes his plate, and then leans back, patting his stomach.

"Does it still hurt?" Seth asks with a mouth full of chicken, and I roll my eyes. _At least, he was eating._ I told myself.

"Sometimes. But, only when it rains." This makes Seth laugh and we eventually all join in.

"You're funny, Edward." Seth says, through his laughter.

"You really think so?" Seth nods his head.

"Yeah. You should marry my mom. She's funny too." The laughter comes to a halt, and I choke on air.

"Do you think my mom's pretty?" Seth asks, and my eyes go wide. I'm not sure how to interfere without confusing Seth. He surely thinks it's an innocent question.

"Seth, I think your mom is very pretty." Edward answers, and I look up to see him looking at me.

"Do you think she's the prettiest?" Seth pushes, grinning from ear to ear, and I look away from Edward. My cheeks are so hot that I'm afraid I might have to go for burn treatment.

"I do. I think your mom is the prettiest mom I've ever seen." Edward answers, and I note that he chose his wording carefully. I was the prettiest 'mom' he'd ever seen. I suddenly felt embarrassed for a different reason. I was embarrassed because there was no reason to be embarrassed at all. Edward was just playing along.

Clearing my throat, I turn my attention to Seth. "Hey buddy, you done? We need to get you ready for bed." Taking a final bite, he nods while jumping from the chair. He runs up the stairs and I follow, yelling at him to not run with food in his mouth. The kid will never learn.

_**byl**_

"Hey, Mom? Can I say goodnight to Edward after my bath?" Seth looks up at me with his big, brown puppy dog eyes, and I find myself unable to refuse his adorable face. I didn't deny him much. He's just too cute.

"Yeah, baby. You can say goodnight to Edward." Toys forgotten, he quickly rinses and climbs out of the tub, and into my waiting arms. And after the nightly fight to put on his pajamas, I take him by the hand, and we walk downstairs to find Edward sitting on the couch.

Seth lets go of my hand to join him, and I notice that he has cleared the table. I'm suddenly ashamed that I left him down here without a word. It wasn't like he owed me anything. He didn't owe me that compliment, and I shouldn't have been expecting it.

When I walk into the living room to apologize, I find Seth sitting on Edward's lap, and I stop. Leaning up against the door frame, I listen to what they're saying.

"Did you know my dad?" My heart breaks when I hear his precious, little voice asking this question.

"No. I didn't know your dad Seth, but I'm sure he was a great man." Seth nods, laying his head on Edward's shoulder, and I swallow to ward off the threatening tears.

"Yeah. That's what my mom says. And, that's why she married him. You think he thought mom was the prettiest too?" Edward nods then lays his head on top of Seth's.

"I'm sure he did, Seth. I would bet that everyone thinks she's the prettiest." And in hearing his kind words, those threatening tears start to fall.

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**A/N: *WINNER* SMYPContest 2012! Thank you to all the troops and their families! This story is dedicated to you and yours! Leave a review and show your support! **Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**New chapter!**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta SUNFLOWER3759 for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

**A/N: I wouldn't necessarily say this has heavy angst. It's mostly a story of friendship and love. There are definitely moments of sadness and even happiness, which could provoke some strong emotions.**

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**This is a brand new chapter! Enjoy!**

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_**Bella**_

I watch from my upstairs bedroom window as Edward and Seth rake the fallen leaves into piles. Seth jumps from mound to mound, spreading the leaves back out around the yard. And, even though I'm standing behind the closed plate glass, I can hear Edward laugh as he watches Seth undo all the hard work he has done. It was a sound I had quickly grown fond of.

Edward had been here for a few weeks, and had spent every free moment of his time with us. He would accompany us on trips to the grocery store, we would do puzzles on rainy days, and I was even able to set up a private tour of the zoo. Given Edward's status and war injury, they eagerly obliged, and we were escorted around the grounds on a golf cart.

I have to laugh looking back on that day. Seth declared that all future trips to the zoo would require personal tours on a golf cart. It forever changed him. He had asked multiple times if I would get him one for Christmas, so we didn't have to walk to school anymore. He would say, "We can just cart, mom. It would be fun." That was his reasoning for everything. 'It would be fun.' I shake my head. That kid. He was something else.

On days that Edward's leg wasn't giving him trouble he would join us on our walks to the school. He didn't leave the house often, and, when he did he never offered an explanation or shared the details of his outing. I never asked because I didn't feel as though it was my business, but I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about him.

Sadly, I knew next to nothing. Well, that wasn't exactly true. I knew he was kind, patient, and caring. I knew he enjoyed the company of children. Sam had come over a few times to see Seth, and he would play with them both. By some miracle, it had worked out that Sam's dad was always the one bringing him over. But my luck was sure to run out, and Edward would end up running into Rosalie Hale sooner or later. I shudder. It was inevitable. I was surprised she hadn't come snooping around.

Turning back to the neglected pile of laundry, I start to fold and place the clothing into piles. I can still hear them laughing which makes me smile. I don't remember ever smiling while folding laundry. But, if this was the new soundtrack to the task, then I would be smiling from now on.

It was nice having Edward around. Not only was he attentive to Seth, but he was handy around the house. His second day here he fixed the broken lawnmower, and then mowed the grass once a week ever since. A week into his stay, our toilet went on the fritz, and he miraculously fixed that too. I didn't even have to ask. He was a like a gift from God that arrived just on time.

He even went as far as to hang that tire swing on the old oak tree in the back yard. Our beat up Chevy pickup was out for the count, and he used one of the good tires. Seth still gushes about it while I fight to get him ready for bed. Every night he seemed to forget the fact that, yes, he did have to have a bath and wear pajamas. Edward had been helpful with that as well. He told him that real men listen to their mothers, bathe daily, and always wear pajamas to bed. My heart was growing for him with every passing day, every passing moment he spent with Seth, with us.

Holding up a foreign piece of material, I quickly drop it. To my embarrassment it was a pair of Edward's boxer briefs. They must have gotten caught in one of the machines and mixed in with our clothes.

Scanning the room, I pick them back up to hold at a distance and I study them. They were Fruit of The Loom. All white, and made of soft cotton. I had a sudden urge to run them over my face, and sniff them. _God! How demented! _

I couldn't stop picturing him in them. The stark white material contrasting with his slightly bronzed skin. The defined V of his lower abdomen, dipping down under the thick waistband. Closing my eyes, I shiver. Him in nothing but these, and his dog tags. _Shit!_

Dropping them again, I lightly bite my knuckles. I had never been so jealous of a pair of underwear. I wanted him to wear me like he wore these. And, yes, I knew that was physically impossible. But, that didn't make it any less of a want, or a desire. I wanted to cling to his backside like this intimate piece of clothing. I wanted to cup his-

"Mom!" I jump as Seth yells out for me. I felt like I had been caught doing something naughty.

"Just a second, baby!" I yell back, buying some time to collect myself, and calm my racing heart. And, after putting away all the folded laundry, I head downstairs with Edward's underwear in hand. _What was I going to do? Keep them?_

"Where's Edward, baby?" I ask, fisting the underwear behind my back. I didn't need this turned into an ordeal. Seth found underwear rather hilarious, and we'd never hear the end of it. He would talk about it for days if he found me holding Edward's.

Shrugging his shoulders, he pays me no attention. "I'm hungry." He states, as he lines up his toy cars in a long succession.

"Okay, buddy. You want peanut butter and jelly?" He shrugs again. _Ok. Peanut butter and jelly, it is._

I turn, now holding the underwear in front of me, and make my way down the hallway to Edward's room. I say a silent thank you when I see that he has left his door open. It made me feel a little less of a snoop.

Pushing the door open, I step inside and take a deep breath. It smells like him. Like fresh soap and man. He had his own distinct, manly smell. A smell that caused my eyes to flutter along with my insides. It seemed to sing to me. But, then again I'm sure it sang to every woman.

While debating on whether to put the underwear in a drawer or simply place them on the bed, I notice a lone framed picture sitting on top of the dresser. Stepping closer, I pick it up to get a better look. Edward looked much younger, thinner. The years spent in the Marines had definitely added to his muscle mass, and definition. And, I doubted he had any tattoos when this was taken.

A tall, blonde, handsome man stood to the right with his arm draped around Edward's shoulder. Two beautiful, petite women stood to the left. One had the same copper colored hair as Edward, and the other had black. They were obviously his family. I was guessing a sister, and his parents. Edward had his father's jaw, and his mother's eyes. He shared the same smile as the young girl.

"Hey bud, where's your mom?" I'm startled when I hear Edward's voice, and very nearly drop the frame that's still in my clumsy hand. Placing it back where I found it, I tiptoe to the door, and peek out into the hallway. I didn't see him, which was good. And if I get caught walking from the direction of his room, I can always say I was looking for something in the back closet. It was directly across the hall. _Good plan._

Slowly opening the door, I step out, and then pull it back to where it was. While creeping down the hall in the direction of the living room, I realize I'm still holding Edward's underwear. _Perfect._

As I look back towards Edward's door, I hear him coming around the corner, and I panic, shoving the bulky material into my tight back pocket. In no way was this going to end well.

"Hey Bella, do you have.. You okay? You look a little pale?" Keeping my back to the wall, I walk past him.

"Yeah, I'm good. You?" When I make it by, I turn to face him, and I pray he just turns to go into his room. I needed to get these out of my pocket, out of my possession, out of my thoughts.

"Hey! What's this?" Seth asks, while pulling the cursed wad of troubling material out of my back pocket. This was it. There was no coming back from this.

Seth holds them up, while I hang my head in shame, and he yells out through his uncontrollable laughter. "Underwear! Classic!"

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I have to work the next three nights. I'll try to have the next post up before that third night, but it may take longer! So here's an early update! **Thank you to all the troops and their families! This story is dedicated to you and yours! Leave a review and show your support! Thank you for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

***Addition to chapter***

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

* * *

***Addition to chapter* Practically A whole new chapter.**

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_**byl**_

**Dr. Banner**

_**Edward**_

"I'm glad you decided to stay in town, Edward. It's best to stick with what seems to be working. How is the _physical _part of your recovery coming along?" Dr. Banner questions, with a beaming smile. He was a sweet, older man with a full head of graying hair, and graying bushy eyebrows. His tweed jackets had elbow patches, and were a thing of the past, but he wore them well.

"It's coming along great. They press me pretty hard in the gym, and I've been moving around a lot on my own. The leg really seems to be loosening up. Hardly any pain, except for when it rains." I chuckle at the memory of Seth's reaction to that comment. The kid thought everything was funny. Especially underwear.

"That's great. That's really great, Edward. I'm glad to hear that you're healing quickly. How about the nightmares? Are you still having them?" Clasping his hands together, Dr. Banner brings them to rest against his chin. He was most likely expecting me to say yes, but I hadn't had any. No more waking up in the middle of the night screaming, dripping in sweat. I no longer dreamt of the fallen soldiers I had once known as men, as women, as friends.

"No. I'm actually sleeping through the night now. That's a good thing, right?" I can just imagine the look on my face, hopeful and questioning. Much like Seth's when he's waiting for the answer that he wants. I wanted him to tell me that it was a miracle, that I was miraculously healed.

"Yes, Edward, that's a very good thing. When did you first notice that you stopped having the nightmares?" Narrowing his gaze, he brings his fingers to a point, and places them against his lips.

"Well, you're probably going to think I'm crazy." Briefly closing his eyes, he shakes his head.

"No, Edward. You can say anything here. There's no judgment. Please continue." He extends his hand in encouragement.

"Well, uh.. they stopped a few weeks ago, the night that I moved into my new place. That's weird, right?" Fidgeting, I look away. I knew it was weird, and I didn't want him to confirm it. I didn't want to see it on his face.

"I wouldn't say it's weird, no. Is there something about this place? Does something make you feel safe?" Furrowing my brow, I look over at him in question. _Was _there something about this place?

"Well, there's no reason not to feel safe. Bella.. the woman that owns the house, she has a son, Seth. They live there as well, and I've been spending a lot of time with them, every day actually. I enjoy their company. I guess you could say they make me feel safe, or I feel like I make them safe. Why? You think they're the reason I'm not having the nightmares?" I genuinely question.

"I'm not saying that, no. Do _you_ think they're the reason you're not having the nightmares?" Leaning forward, I rub my hands over my face. I didn't know. _Maybe._

"I don't know. I think maybe they could be. I don't remember the last time that I felt so comfortable, content.. happy, I guess. And, Seth, he keeps me busy. There's really no time to sit and replay that day." Dr. Banner nods while his fingers remain glued to his bottom lip.

"You say that you guess you're happy. Are you not sure?" Crossing my arms over my chest, I lean back. I think. I had been in the service for seventeen years. I had been overseas for roughly nine of them. Perhaps I had forgotten what happiness is. Perhaps I never really knew.

"Well, it's been a long time since I felt anything close to happiness. I had a happy childhood. I remember being happy as a kid, and my family makes me happy, but I guess I don't have anything to compare it to. Bella and Seth are different. They make me feel different. And, if I had to venture a guess as to what I feel, I would say it's happiness. So, yes, I'm happy. They make me happy."

_**byl**_

Stepping through the front door, I'm hit with a scent; the scent of lasagna, my favorite. Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply, and my mouth starts to water. It had been years since I last had it. Rounding the corner into the kitchen, I stop. I lean against the door frame, and I watch. I watch Bella as she sways her hips to the rhythm on the radio. She bends and stretches, pulling out supplies that she needs, and putting back what she's doesn't.

She was wearing my favorite sweater.

She wore a lot of loose fitting sweaters, which I loved. And, even though they left a lot to the imagination, they were incredibly sexy. They often hung from her delicate shoulder. And, when she flipped her long, wavy hair to one side, I would get a good glimpse of her soft, alabaster skin, and bitable collarbone.

She didn't even know the torture that she caused. And, it wasn't just me. I noticed how the fathers watched her when we walked Seth to school. It took all the strength I had not to throw my arm around her shoulder, and hold her close for all of them to see. To see that she was mine, and that they couldn't have her.

I wanted her to be mine, but I didn't know how to go about it. I didn't know if she felt the same way. I didn't really know anything about her. Well, that wasn't exactly true. I knew that she was patient, generous, and nurturing. She was a wonderful mother to Seth.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything, but I never asked. I didn't feel as though it was any of my business. And, if she wanted me to know more, I was sure she would have offered it. I prayed everyday that she would start offering it.

"Hey, Edward! You're home!" Seth comes bouncing past me, and into the kitchen. God that kid could be sneaky when he wanted to be.

"Yeah, bud!" I pick him up, and hang him upside down. Laughing, he flails, trying to grab onto my leg.

"Put me down!" He screams. I look up at Bella to find her leaning against the island, chuckling.

"What's the magic word?" I tickle his stomach where his shirt has ridden up.

"Underwear!" Seth yells through his laughter, and Bella blushes as she covers her face with her hands. I didn't think she was ever going to get over it, but I didn't mind. I liked the thought of her handling my underwear. I liked how she blushed when she thought about them.

"Wrong magic word, bud, now you get to hang like this all night." I smirk at her as she peeks through her fingers.

"No! No! No! Please! Please! Please! Put me down!" I place him on his feet. His face is flushed from all the exertion.

"Mom, is dinner ready yet? I'm starving to death."

_**byl**_

Seth wasn't kidding. I had never seen him eat so much in one sitting. I would have thought it was because of the lasagna Bella made. It was the most delicious lasagna I had ever tasted. But, Bella told him he must be going through a growth spurt. There was a twinge of sadness as she said it.

"I'm going to take Seth to bed. Did you want to maybe watch a movie when I come back down?" I smile and nod as I look over at Seth. He's passed out on the floor, lying on his stomach with his butt sticking up in the air. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

"Yeah, sounds good." I watch her strain to lift him. Getting up from my place on the couch, I offer to help.

"Here, let me." She backs away while I bend, and easily pick him up. He adjusts, laying his head on my shoulder, and I take him up the stairs to put him in bed.

When I come back down, Bella's waiting with a smile. She's radiating. She was excited.

"What are we watching?" I smile back at her. It was impossible not to.

"Don't Go in the Woods. It's about this band that, you guessed it, goes into the woods." She throws her head back with a twinkle of laughter. "I'm betting they all meet a bloody end. I hear it's awful, but their music alone is worth it. You in?" She smirks, quirking an eyebrow as she waits for my answer.

"I'm in. I'm all in."

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**Their music alone is definitely worth it.. ; ) Update in the next couple of days!** **Thank you to all the troops and their families! This story is dedicated to you and yours! Leave a review and show your support! Thank you for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

***Addition to chapter***

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

* * *

***Addition to chapter* **

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**October 31, 2011**

Halloween

_**Bella**_

Making my way around the house, I open it up to the crackling sound of the crisp leaves blowing in the wind. It was unusually warm for October, and on a good night too. It was Halloween, and Edward and I were taking Seth trick-or-treating.

Seth had changed his mind for a costume at least five times in the past three days. I was sure all his choices were based off of his friend's costumes, with the exception of one. I have to roll my eyes when I think about him asking if he could be a 'sparkly vampire'. _Where did the kid get this shit?_

While worrying about my kid's sanity, I round the corner into the kitchen and come face to face with the devil incarnate, the bane of my existence, my eternal nemesis. And no, it wasn't Rosalie Hale. That I could handle. This was much, much worse.

"Fuck!" I jump back, covering my mouth. My heart pounds against my chest as I try to take deep, calming breaths. _It isn't real. It isn't real._

"Awww, Mom. You said a bad word. We aren't supposed to say that." Seth is reprimanding me as Edward literally holds back laughter with his hands, having just witnessed me lose it over a large rubber spider.

"I know, Seth. I'm sorry! I was scared, and I forgot. Forgive me?" I grovel, and he thinks it over, tapping his finger against his chin.

"Yeah, I forgive you." Turning to Edward, he reaches up, pulling on the sleeve of his flannel. It was red and black, and he had pushed the sleeves up to rest just below his elbows. I loved it when he wore them. With his five o'clock shadow, it made him look tough, and rugged.

"It was pretty funny, wasn't it Edward? I told you she hates spiders." I'm torn from my ogling when the little brat actually snickers, and then runs out of the room. I look up from Edward's strong forearms to find him red faced, and silently laughing.

"You think this is funny? This isn't funny!" I grab my chest. Not only had I been startled by that damn rubber spider, but I was also feeling the effects that Edward had on me. I try to calm my wildly beating heart as he continues to poke fun.

"No. That was definitely funny. That was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen." I'm smiling now against my own free will. I found it hard not to smile when Edward smiles, even if I've just been attacked by the rubbery spawn of Satan.

_**byl**_** /\/\( ..)/\/\ **_**byl**_

"You guys ready?" I yell up the stairs. Seth insisted that Edward help him get dressed, and I was not to come up under any circumstance. He wanted to surprise me. And while it broke my heart to do so, I agreed.

"We'll be down in a minute!" Edward yells back, and I turn, kicking that plastic nightmare of a creation that has plagued my every thought since Seth stuck it in my face. It's so big it makes a flopping sound against the hardwood floor, and I cringe imagining if it were real. I would surely die.

When I finally hear them coming, I turn back toward the stairs and nearly drop to my knees.

Edward's a wet dream in his long-sleeved midnight blue coat with gold buttons lined down the front. His angular jaw accented by a firm collar. Several ribbons hang on the right side of his chest. I only recognized one. His purple heart. I wanted to kiss it. It's what brought him here.

The scarlet and gold chevron on his left arm shows his status as Sergeant Major with three pointed, gold stripes on top, four curved gold stripes on the bottom, and incased in the middle, is the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor. The same symbol he has inked into his skin on his left shoulder.

I remember.

_How could I forget? _

A midnight blue belt is wrapped around his narrow waist. The golden 'M' on the front is shining. Bleached, white gloves cover his large hands. And, I would eat off his black dress shoes, they're so clean. The whole thing is topped off with his white and black hat.

I have to try and block thoughts of him pounding into me while his dog tags flap against his sweaty, naked chest. I'm not sure how long I stood there staring at him, before the clearing of a throat caught my attention.

"What?" I ask, lamely, not even knowing if I had been asked a question.

"Mom! I said, do you like my costume?" Looking down at Seth, I'm stunned once more. His costume nearly resembles Edward's in every way, and it's the most adorable sight I have ever seen.

"Oh wow, Seth! You're a Marine?" He smiles big, and nods his head.

"Yep, just like Dad, and Edward. Do you like it?" I nod, berating myself for the fact that this puts me on the verge of ugly tears. If they fell, Seth would never understand.

Swallowing them down, I take in a deep breath. I look up at Edward, his smile is sympathetic and understanding. "I love it! I think it's the best costume, ever! Definitely better than any of your friends!" I speak only the truth. No kid can top my kid.

"Awesome! Let's go! I want to show everybody the best costume, ever! And, ya know, get some candy." Taking our hands, Seth leads us out the door, and into the warm, moonlit night.

_**byl**_** /\/\( ..)/\/\ **_**byl**_

Trick-or-Treating

The streets are lined with lighted, orange, plastic bags that give off an effervescent glow. Every one of our neighbors' yards dons a ghost, witch, or goblin, and old man Banner even had a haunted house complete with strobe lights, which Seth refused to enter. I let him bob for apples instead, which was a mistake because according to him, I nearly let him 'drown to death'. His words.

When Edward wasn't holding Seth's hand opposite me, he was standing directly beside me. Never touching, but I could always feel his warmth. It was nice, and normally it wouldn't bother me, but I really wanted to look at him. And, it was impossible to do in this position without being an obvious creeper. I preferred to creep with discretion.

"You look good." I glance up at him briefly through my lashes. He smiles at me with his crooked grin, and my gaze travels down his body. It stopped at his hand, and my fingers twitched. I wanted to hold it.

"Oh, Bella!" I hear her call from behind me, and I'm tempted to just ignore her, but Edward had already turned at the mention of my name._ For the love of Christ! _I was really hoping that the last time I saw her, would be the last time I saw her.

Plastering on a sickly, sweet smile, I turn to face her. "Hey, Rose." She hates being called that, and that's why I do it. I'm hoping she leaves it at an innocent greeting, but I know better. She's Rosalie Hale, gossiping bitch extraordinaire, and she's not blind. She's seen Edward. Everyone has.

"Bella, who is your friend here, standing so close to you? Do you have a fella? Why didn't you tell me?" She play punches me in the shoulder, and I just want to punch her in the face. I knew what was coming next. I just wished it wasn't in front of Edward.

"You being such a mess and all after Jake.. well, you know. Anyway, I'm really glad that you could find someone, and move on from that tragedy. I just don't think I could do it. You know, move on. I would just be too devastated. " Rose finishes while stroking my arm, and it takes all I have not to cringe away from her.

Edward gapes at Rose for a moment before turning to me with a raise of his brow. I just close my eyes, and gently shake my head. I was used to it, and there was no reason to provoke her. I liked to think I was better than that, though I really wasn't.

"Um, this is Edward Cullen. He's renting out the spare room. Edward, this is Rose Hale, Sam's mom." I'm glad he's wearing gloves when they shake hands. I don't want her touching him.

"Please, call me Rosalie. Our Bella here, she's the only one that calls me Rose." Quirking her head, she looks over at me, and I can just make out the annoyance in her eyes. I smile in contentment as Mrs. Banner hands me a warm apple cider.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you, _Rose_." I had just taken a drink when Edward addresses her by the hated nickname, and it very nearly ended up all over him.

Rose takes off in a huff, and when I look over at him he offers a wink, and a smile. I smile back in amusement.

"Are you okay? Does she always talk to you like that?" Nodding, my smile falters, and I take another drink of apple cider. I think Edward senses that I don't want to talk about it because he doesn't push. He never pushes, and most of the time I'm thankful for that. But, sometimes part of me wants him to. I want to open up to him. I just can't. Not yet.

"Edward, will you carry me home? I'm tired." Seth wobbles over, freshly soaked, but Edward didn't seem to mind. He never seems to mind. He was always so good with him.

"Yeah, buddy. Jump on my back, and hold on tight." Edward bends so Seth can reach, and pulls him onto his back. The site of it makes me want to cry for the second time tonight. I don't think I'll ever get over seeing them both come down the stairs, dressed alike. He and Seth have been inseparable. They have done everything together. They acted so much like father and son.

"Maybe we could walk through that haunted house since I'm on Edward's back. I think I'm safe here." Seth contemplates, feeling false bravery, and I give Edward a look. I'm not sure if it's the best idea.

"Please, Mom?" He begs, and once again I can't deny him, imminent traumatizing experience or not.

Slowly, we make our way over, and I mentally prepare myself for him sleeping in my bed for the next week. But as luck would have it, we don't even make it to the entrance. When passing a large oak tree, Old Man Banner jumps out yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Fuck!" Seth yelps out, tightening his grip on Edward's neck.

"Seth!" Stunned, I look up at my profane son.

"Sorry, Mom.. I was scared, and I forgot. Forgive me?"

* * *

**Update in the next couple of days!** **Thank you to all the troops and their families! This story is dedicated to you and yours! Thank you for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

***Addition to chapter***

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

* * *

***Addition to chapter* Practically A whole new chapter.**

* * *

**Dr. Banner**

_**Edward **_

"I didn't realize you lived so close to Bella. It was a surprise seeing you on Halloween." Dr. Banner was a messiah of secrecy, it would seem. He never let on that he knew Bella and Seth, and I had been talking about them nonstop in our sessions. Therapy was quickly becoming a place to vent my frustrations with my relationship with Bella, or lack thereof. His facade never faltered when Bella introduced us that night.

"Yes well, I protect my patients just as I protect my friends and family. I'm sorry if you felt that I was being rude or didn't recognize you." I shake my head. I was incredibly thankful that he acted as if he'd never met me, that he didn't know the horrors I'd seen, or the nightmares I'd suffered.

"No worries." I offer him a tight smile.

"I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I couldn't help notice that you two stood quite close the entire night. Have you told her how you feel?" Raising my brow, I shake my head again.

"No." _Definitely not._

"Why is that?" Dr. Banner looks at me with genuine curiosity. But, I felt that it was quite simple.

"Well, we live together. What if we try and it doesn't work out? Then I would have to move, and she would end up losing the house. I care about them too much to let that happen. Or what if I come out and tell her and she doesn't feel the same way? It's the same ending, just a different story." I was getting worked up, thinking of all the reasons telling her would be a bad idea.

"Do you think she might possibly feel the same way?" I shrug.

"I don't know. Maybe. But, what if she thinks it's too soon?" I knew it had been roughly six years since Jacob had died, but Bella never spoke about it, she never spoke about him.

"Do _you_ think it's too soon?" I shrug again.

"No. At least, it doesn't feel too soon." I often thought back on the first day we met. I knew then that I wanted her. I wanted her since the first moment saw her. I had watched from the porch swing as she walked across the plush, green lawn.

The first thing I noticed was her long brown hair as it blew in the wind. Her hips swayed as she walked toward me. I swallowed thickly when she got close enough, and looked up with her big, brown eyes. She was breathtaking, is breathtaking.

And if the situation were different, if I wasn't there to rent a room in her house, I would have asked her out. I would have taken her to dinner and a movie, and then at the end of the night, I would have kissed her. I would have kissed her good and hard.

"Have you two discussed your pasts?" Dr. Banner clasps his hands together, tilting his head to the side.

"No."

"Why is that?" He asks, furrowing his brow.

"Well, Bella isn't the most open person. I was waiting for her to come to me. I wanted to give her time." I shrug once more.

"How is that working out?" I scratch the itchy stubble on my jaw. I had been growing it because Bella seemed to like it. I noticed that she stole more glances after a few days without shaving, and I wanted her to look. I wanted her to touch it, to run her hands over it. I sigh.

"It's not." He nods, pursing his lips.

"Do you talk at all? How do you know how you feel if you don't really know her?" It was an innocent enough question, but I didn't like it. I did know her. At least, I knew enough.

"I know her. I watch her. I listen. She says she doesn't have a favorite color even though I see her favor blue. She's a picky eater, big on texture. She loves scary movies, but doesn't get the chance to watch them as much as she'd like. Sometimes we watch them together when Seth goes to bed, and I get to see a whole different side of her. She yells obscenities when caught off guard, and it's endearing. She bites her lip when she's nervous or deep in thought, and it's adorable. She's adorable. She's giving, and loving, and funny. Seth adores her. And, I adore her. I know her!" I finish, a bit winded, my eyes never leaving Dr. Banner's. He was breaking my outburst down, shrinking me. I could tell. He knew that I was being defensive, and that I was frustrated.

"Do you think she is this observant of you?" His question caught me off guard. I was expecting him to call me out.

"I don't know." I scoff, shrugging yet again.

"If you told her how you feel maybe something would come of it. Don't you think it would be easier if you talked to her?" Dr. Banner questions, with a slight lift of his bushy brow.

"Maybe. But, it's difficult to find the time. I don't know. It never seems like the right time. I don't even know how to start that conversation." I wipe the sweat from the palm of my hands onto my jeans. Just thinking about that conversation gave me anxiety. _What if she didn't want me? What if it made her uncomfortable? What if she kicked me out? _

"Have you told her that you're in therapy?" I let out an exasperated sigh, running my hands over my face.

"Of course not."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. For all the reasons I just said. I guess I just haven't seen an opportunity to blurt it out. What am I supposed to do? Walk into the kitchen while she's making dinner tonight and say 'Oh, by the way, I'm in therapy. Just thought you should know?" I mock. Sarcasm didn't sit well with Dr. Banner, and I knew that. I also knew he would let it slide, and just keep digging.

"What's wrong with saying that? Perhaps it could open up the door to a real conversation." Ever the realist, he had an answer for everything, and while it annoyed me, it was sobering. He was always right, damn him.

"Communication is key, Edward. It may be an overused expression, but it's overused for a reason. Because it's true. If you don't think Bella is willing to open up perhaps you should open up to her. Tell her about your past, or let her know you want to know more about hers. Communication is key. Remember that."

_**byl**_

"Just think about it Bella. It's a great idea, and I think we could make a lot of money. You know the boys from the base always come to these things. It would be really stupid not to."

I come home to the grating sound of Rosalie Hale's voice. She was the last person I wanted to deal with. The way she talked to Bella was appalling, and I hated that Bella felt she had to put up with it for Seth's sake, but I could see her reasoning. Rose was the kind of person that would use her kid as a pawn, and Bella didn't want Seth losing a good friend.

I was also planning on talking to Bella tonight, just coming out and saying it like Dr. Banner suggested. I guess it would have to wait.

"It's a kid's carnival, Rose. I doubt any of the teachers would appreciate us setting up a kissing booth." _Kissing booth?_ My ears perk up. Was Bella going to work this kissing booth?

My excitement deflated just as fast as it built. I didn't want her kissing other men, just the thought caused a surge of heat in my stomach that spread out like a consuming flame. I had never really felt the full power of jealousy before, and I found that I didn't like it much. I didn't like it at all.

"Edward! Edward! Edward!" Seth and Sam coming running down the stairs both chanting my name. Sam jumps up to hang from my shoulder while Seth grabs hold of my good leg. At least he paid attention.

"Will you come outside and push us on the tire swing? It's too hard to push each other, and our moms are busy. Please!" They sing out a simultaneous plea.

"I would, but it seems I've grown a couple of five year olds, and I can't move." They laugh at my ridiculous attempt at a lame joke. These kids were so easy.

"You guys, get off Edward." Bella walks out into the hallway, and I notice she's wearing a new sweater. It's striped, blue and white, and of course it hangs off of her petite shoulder. I always wondered if she wore a bra with them, and when she bends over to remove Seth, I get my answer. Nope. _Hell._

The woman was perfect. She was a perfect woman, a perfect mother, and had perfect tits. Round and supple, they stood on their own, and I could see the tops of her softened browned nipples. I had to bite my inner cheek to stifle a groan. I wanted to feel them harden under my touch. I wanted to taste them on my t-

"Edward! It's nice to see you again! You're looking good!" The kids run off, and Bella straightens as Rose comes to stand next to us. My view had been effectively cut off. _Damn._

"I'm good, Rose. Thanks." _Wish I could say the same._

Looking over at Bella, I notice she's standing quite close, and feel an urge to bend over and kiss her. A simple peck on the lips would suffice. I just wanted it to say hello, and that I missed her. The urge was getting stronger with every passing day.

"Eddie, tell Bella that a kissing booth is a good idea for the upcoming winter festival that the school holds every year. Don't you think the boys from the base would love it? I think it would make a lot of money." Smiling, she grabs my bicep, and I look over at Bella.

"Will you be working this kissing booth?" I ask, and she tears her stare away from Rose's hand.

"Yes, she will. We will both be working it! Tell her it's a good idea." Rose shakes my arm, bouncing up and down, and I watch as Bella tries to hide her glare. It seemed she didn't like Rose touching me, but she didn't have anything to worry about. I only had eyes for her.

"As long as I get a kiss then, yes, it's a good idea." I smile down at Bella, and her cheeks redden. _Better yet, I make a hefty donation, and I get all of Bella's kisses. _

"Mom! Mom! Seth hurt his arm!" Sam runs in yelling, and I take off in the direction that he came. My heart's beating so hard against my chest that I can hear it in my ears.

_Thunk._

_Thunk._

_Thunk._

It was so loud that it almost drowned out Seth's cries, and I could only remember one other time I had ever been this scared, this panicked.

Reaching him, I fall to my knees where he's lying on the ground cradling his arm, and I wince. It sat at an unnatural angle; it was obviously broken. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, I try my best to comfort him. "It's gonna be okay, Bud. I know it hurts, but you're gonna be okay." Gathering him in my arms, I try not to jostle him, but no matter what, he whimpers. My heart is breaking, I feel so helpless, useless. I just want to take away his pain.

"Oh, God! What happened? Is he okay? Seth, Baby?" Bella runs up to us, a look of dread on her face, and drained of all color. Only after I assure her that he'll be fine, she runs to the house to grab the keys. I continued to comfort Seth as much I could while I held him in the backseat.

That ride to the hospital was the longest I'd ever taken.

* * *

OHMYGAH! This story was rec'd for Fic of the Week over at The Lemonade Stand! I'm freaking out! Flattered! Verklempt! A big THANK YOU to Six Dlbfive for rec-ing me! You are awesome! **Update in the next few of days!** **Thank you to all the troops and their families! This story is dedicated to you and yours! Thank you for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me!

Thank you, **SondraPixie Pattinson **for all your wonderful ideas on extending this little one shot! I really appreciate your input! That being said, you are also the reason poor, little Seth had to break his arm… Shame. ; )

* * *

_**Edward**_

Seth suffered a fracture 'somewhere near the elbow' is what I gathered from the surgeon. There was talk of ulna's, open reductions, internal fixations, and pins. But, all I understood was near the elbow, and surgery.

Bella was inconsolable, so I just held her and let her cry. And, even though it may have been inappropriate to think about how this was the first time I'd embraced her, I was. It felt good to hold her, it felt right. It had been years since I held a woman, felt a woman wrapped around me, and I never wanted to let go.

Resting my head on hers, I place subtle kisses in her hair, slyly smelling her. She has her own distinct smell, all fresh and light with a hint of vanilla. She likes to bake, and I could smell it on her. I was basking in it, savoring her essence as it sang to me.

Running my hands along her back, I play with the ends of her long, silky hair, and she sighs.

It's the sweetest sound.

The longer Seth is in surgery, the more she clings to me, the tighter she holds.

I concentrate on the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body against mine, the feel of her fingers pressing into my back. They were delicate yet forceful, and firm.

Anything to keep from thinking about the helpless little boy that I should have been watching, I should have been protecting, I should have kept safe.

I felt sick with guilt.

Flashbacks of him lying on the ground run through my mind, torturing me, taunting me. He had asked me to come outside, asked me to push him on the tire swing. And, if I hadn't been shamelessly ogling his mother, this probably would have never happened.

He looked so small, so helpless coddling his oddly angled arm.

I pull Bella closer, tighter as I remember his pained whimpers, how the sweat poured from him, the contorted look on his innocent face. No child should have to go through that kind of pain. Ever.

And, it could have been so much worse; could still get so much worse. Things go wrong in surgery all the time, you hear horror stories.

How long had he been back there? How much longer was he going to be back there? Was he scared? Would he remember? Was he in pain?

All the way to the hospital, he whimpered. While the doctor explained his condition, he whimpered in a drug induced haze, and when they wheeled him back, he whimpered as he held my hand. I didn't like the sound. It made me uneasy, nervous. It made me feel helpless.

I wonder if Bella is thinking the same things. Should I ask her? Ask her what she's thinking, how she's feeling?

Maybe I should apologize. Tell her that I'm sorry for allowing her son to get hurt while I discreetly peeked down her sweater; while I thought about kissing her, how I wanted to, how the urge to do it grew stronger every time I saw her; how I didn't really think it was a great idea that she work at a kissing booth because_** I**_ wanted to be the one that kisses her, the only one.

I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know. And, maybe this was the perfect time. Maybe I should just come out and say it. Maybe..

"Bella, I-"

"Mrs. Black?" She immediately jumps up, and out of my grasp when Seth's surgeon calls her name, and I've missed my chance once again.

Following closely, I wonder if I should touch her in some way; just place my hands over her shoulders or hold her hand. But, I don't have to wonder long because she grabs mine, intertwining our fingers, and I somewhat calm. I give her hand a light squeeze to let her know that I'm here, and that I'm not going anywhere. She immediately returns it.

"Everything went beautifully. He's in recovery, and the nurse will take you back to see him. You can actually take him home tonight as long as he's feeling up to it later. I'll leave a prescription and directions for dressing care with the nurse, and she'll explain everything when you're ready to go. Sound good?" We both nod, thanking him for taking such good care of Seth.

Bella holds my hand as the nurse walks us back to see Seth, and I give it another reassuring squeeze when I see him.

His eyes are closed, and his brow is pinched. He looks slightly uncomfortable, but his coloring is back, which I know is a good thing.

Bella stoops down close to him, running her hand over his forehead, and through his sweat laced hair. Leaning forward, she kisses him, and his brow softens. He stirs, and with closed eyes he quietly asks, "Where's Dad?"

Bella's strokes falter for only a moment as she looks up at me, for what, I don't know. Answers? I didn't have any.

Maybe it was the anesthesia.

"What, Baby?" She questions, giving him a chance to clarify, to ask the question he had really meant to ask. But she's met with silence, and then soft, sound snores.

He had fallen asleep.

.

.

.

_**byl**_

Once Seth is awake and eating, we bundle him up to take home. I was surprised that given all the commotion, all he ended up with was a small bandage, and a sling.

His care seemed easy enough.

We were to leave the bandage on until tomorrow evening, and then wash it with soap and water, making sure it's thoroughly dry before reapplying a piece of gauze and tape. And, on the third day we could actually leave it open, periodically smearing an antibacterial ointment on the incisions.

I was taking it upon myself to get him back to full playing order. I already missed his energy.

Pulling up to the house, I look back to find him passed out. His head hangs limp to the side, and a puddle of drool has collected on his chin. I smile to myself as I get out of the car to carry him inside, and Bella closely follows.

She didn't say a word the whole ride home, and I was worried about her. I was worried that Seth mentioning his dad had upset her.

As I make my way up to his room, Bella walks ahead picking up scattered race cars, dinosaurs, and the sea of superhero figures. I watch her as she bends, appreciating the view, and when she pulls the covers back, I gently place him in the bed.

"Thank you." She whispers.

"No problem." I smile down at her.

"You have drool all over you." She laughs through her nose, and a small smile pulls at the side of her mouth as she wipes my shirt. It's a simple gesture, nothing really, but everything all at the same time. And the urge to kiss her is the strongest it's ever been.

"I think I'm going to stay here, and sleep with Seth. I'll see you in the morning. Pancakes for breakfast sound good? Blueberry is his favorite." I nod and she crawls into his bed, cuddling up to him underneath Spiderman covers, and I hesitantly back out of the room. The further I walk away, the worse my heart tugs.

It hurts to leave them.

Entering the isolated back bedroom, I strip and crawl into the cold, empty bed. I had never felt as lonely as I did in this moment. Not once had being half way around the world, stranded in the unforgiving desert, ever felt as lonely as this bed, in this room, in this house.

Tossing and turning, I couldn't sleep. Pulling back the constricting covers, I place my feet down on the cold hardwood floor, and hold my head in my hands. I couldn't stop thinking about the what if's.

What if this?

What if that?

I kept reminding myself that he was okay, that he was going to be okay, that these things happen, but nothing was helping. I wanted to be near him, needed to be near him just long enough to calm my nerves.

Slowly I stand, pulling on some sweats, I make my way back up to his room. Thankful I left the door open, I lean against the frame, and I watch them. Their mouths both pouted and parted, they share the same soft snore.

.

.

.

_**byl**_

Sitting on the couch, I try not to doze off as I watch Seth line his race cars in a row. It had only been a week, but Seth was still walking slower, playing slower, and his smile never reached his eyes.

I missed the fast pace, his toothy grin, his loud belly laugh, and most of all not having nightmares. Not one night had gone by that I didn't have one, and I was afraid I would have to cave in and call Dr. Banner.

"Edward, Can I have a juice box? A red one. Please?" Seth looks up baring his teeth with the word please, and it gives me hope that he's finally starting to come around.

"Sure thing, Bud." Standing, I rub his head, and make my way into the kitchen.

Bella's sitting at the island, a pair of reading glasses perched on her petite nose, and I find myself smiling for the first time in what seems like days.

It _had_ been days.

I want to go to her, wrap my arms around her from behind, and kiss her temple as she leans back against me. I want to smell her up close again, not just in passing; I want to breathe her in, deeply. I want to make her sigh again.

Over, and over, and over.

"Seth wants a juice box. A red one." I chuckle, and she looks up, eyeing me over her squared, black frames. I figure she would want to know given his lack of appetite.

"Oh, really? That's great!" She smiles a real smile; one I haven't seen in days, and I realize how much I had missed it. How much I miss her.

"Yeah, I think he's starting to come around." Nodding, her smile slowly fades.

"Are you feeling okay? You look tired." Climbing off of her stool she walks over to stand in front of me with a look of concern, and I'm thinking this is it; she's going to touch me.

The last time we touched was when she wiped drool from my shirt, which was days ago, and I wanted it, needed it.

"Yeah, just haven't been sleeping well, I guess." Crushing her brow, she reaches for me only to pull back.

"Well, you should go lie down, get some sleep, and I can get Seth his juice. I'm going to get him ready for bed soon anyway." I nod, agreeing, even though I know it won't do any good. I doubt I'll get any sleep. Not with the nightmares, not tortured with the thought of how she's right here, and I can't touch her, can't have her.

No.

Sleep is futile.

.

.

.

_**byl**_

_**Bella**_

I wake suddenly; sitting straight up the covers fall from my shoulders, and I'm hit with a cool draft. It's a welcomed contrast to my hot, sticky skin.

I was sweating.

Feeling a trickle down the side of my neck, I wipe it with the palm of my hand, and pull back the heavy comforter to set my feet down on the cold, hardwood floor.

The moonlight is shining brightly through the drawn shade, and I squint.

What had woken me?

Why did I feel panicked?

Taking a look around, I think how different everything looks in the dead of night, how different you can feel.

It was this time of night that my mind aimlessly wondered, plaguing me with unpleasant thoughts.

The what if's, they were always in the back of my mind, but they came to the front in the wee hours of the dewy morning.

Slowly rising to my feet, I dig blindly in a drawer searching for a dry tank top, and once I'm changed I head down the stairs into the dark. I go slowly even though I know this house like the back my hand.

The lesson was learned when I once stepped on a rogue Lego.

Feeling along the wall for the light, I find it and flip it on, sheltering my eyes from the offending shine.

Pulling a glass from the cupboard, I fill it with some lukewarm water from the faucet, and that's when I hear it.

Setting the glass down in the sink, I intently listen.

I leave the light on in the kitchen as I step out into the hall, and I hear it again.

Timidly tiptoeing, I come to stand outside of Edward's room.

Yelling, thrashing, crying; it was muffled, but loud all the same.

Placing my hand on the knob, I teeter between going in and going back to bed. But, when the muffled sounds get louder, I instinctively tighten my grip and open the door.

Stepping in, I watch as Edward twists from side to side. Brow furrowed, he grits his teeth, letting out a slew of strangled growls; beads of sweat seep from every pore, giving him a glistening glow.

I move closer to stand at the edge of his bed. And when he whimpers, I gently kneel, leaning over him. I place the palm of my hand against his damp forehead, sweeping the short strands of hair that cling to it, and he jolts up.

Grabbing my wrist, he pulls me to him, holding me flush with his bare chest, and my breath quickens with his labored pants.

Sweat bleeds through the thin material of my tank as his hot breath fans across my neck, and my eyes flutter shut. Resting my hands on his strong shoulders, I run them down his wet back, and he tightens his grip.

"Bella." He whispers my name, pressing his moistened lips against my skin.

"Mom!" Startled, I push away. Away from my want, my need, his heat, his touch, his lips.

"I- I'm sorry." I stutter, hastily leaving his room.

* * *

**Update in the next few of days!** Sorry this one took so long. **Thank you to all the troops and their families! This story is dedicated to you and yours! Thank you for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

***Additions to chapter***

* * *

_**Bella**_

I hold my chest as I lie beside Seth. Running my hands through his soft, coal colored hair, I try focusing on his steady breath to calm the threaded thrum of my heart. My shirt is still damp; damp with Edward's sweat, and I fist it, pulling it away from my body.

I couldn't stop thinking about him and how he held me, how good he felt against me, how with every ragged breath, his chest would slide against mine; marking me with the tangible sign of his exertion, his struggles.

How was I supposed to face him?

What was I going to say?

_Sorry you caught me creeping into your room to watch you sleep; I hope you didn't mind me running my hands through your hair, scaring the shit out of you, and then almost taking advantage of you in your sleepy state; hey, remember waking up to find me hovering over you? Can we just forget about that? Act like it never happened?_

No.

None of those would work.

There was nothing I could say; nothing that wouldn't cause more tension, more discomfort, more distance than we already had between us. And, that's the last thing I wanted.

The very last thing.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_**Edward**_

"That's it!"

_Bella in my bed._

"Not much longer!"

_Bella under me in my bed._

"Almost there!"

_Bella naked, under me in my bed._

"Three more!"

_Bella._

"Two more!"

_Bed._

"One more!"

_Naked._

"And, you're done!"

Staying seated, I try to get a handle on my excitement. I usually thought about Bella while I did my strength training, but it's never caused this much of a problem.

I couldn't stop thinking about waking up with her pressed against me. Her skin was so soft, so warm. She fit in my arms perfectly.

Running a hand over my hair, I pull at the ends. I can still feel the tingle from where she ran her hand through it. Knowing she was that close, but still didn't belong to me, was driving me crazy. I want her hands in my hair. I want to hold her all night, every night. I want the right; the implied permission that comes with being a couple. I want to touch her whenever I want; kiss her whenever I want; bend her over, and take her whenever I want.

"Amazing, just amazing! You're doing great, man; such great progress. I'm impressed!" Emmett, my trainer, startles me from my thoughts; praising the sweat, pain, and tears that he's caused me over the last few months. It's hard to believe he's married to Rosalie. He has such a likeable demeanor.

"So, how's Seth? How's Bella holding up?" My heart flutters at the mention of her name. I had yet to see her since I pulled her into my bed, trapping her against me, most likely disgusting her with my sweat. I just hope I didn't do anything to scare her off, or make her afraid of me. I could've said anything, done anything.

I remember tasting her.

Licking my lips, she's still there.

"Rosie's been meaning to come over and check on them, but she's been busy with this Winter Carnival thing. She's obsessed with this kissing booth nonsense." I nod, but I'm not really listening.

I can't shake the feeling that she's avoiding me. When I woke this morning they had already left for school.

"I was really hoping Bella could talk her out of it, but once she sets her mind to something there's no stopping her. I don't really want her kissing other guys even if it buys my kid some new crayons. I mean crayons can't be _that _expensive, ya know?" Standing, I offer him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I know." I tell him so because I do. I do know. I don't want Bella kissing anybody else. I don't want Bella to _want_ to kiss anybody else. Those lips are for me to kiss; only me.

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Bella**_

Maybe I shouldn't have left so hastily this morning. Maybe I should have waited, talked to him, explained what I was doing in his room last night.

Seth asked about him the entire walk to school._ Where's Edward? Why isn't Edward walking with us? Is he sick? Does his leg hurt? Is he mad?_ They all tugged at my heart, but that last one ripped it to shreds.

_**Was** he mad? _

When I got back he was gone. No note, no nothing. Not that he usually left one, but I still found myself irrationally upset that he didn't. Maybe he _was_ mad. I know he has to be embarrassed if he even remembers.

What if he doesn't remember? I don't know which would be worse; him remembering and avoiding me, or him not remembering at all.

Hearing the key turn in the lock, I flitter from the living room to the kitchen. I need something to do; something to busy my hands. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to talk to him.

My heart flutters as his heavy steps move closer, and then stills when he comes to stand in the doorway.

"Hey." Leaning against the doorframe, he crosses his arms over his chest. His tight, black thermal hugs the bulk of his arms.

"Hey." My stomach flips at the sound of my own voice.

"So uh, I'm sorry if I woke you last night." He looks down, scratching his brow with his thumb. And, I'm shocked silent. I'm definitely not ready for this.

"After I got shot, I started having nightmares." Adjusting against the doorframe, he clears his throat.

"They had actually stopped, but uh, came back after Seth broke his arm." I remember the look of shear panic as he carried Seth across the lawn. I remember how he held me; how he needed to; how I needed him to. I could feel his worry, his strain, his fear.

I don't know what to say; what to do. I want to go to him, hold him, kiss him, love him. I want to tell him I'm here for him, and that it's all going to be okay. I want him to know that he is safe; that I am willing to lie beside him every night just to make him feel that way.

But, I don't.

I don't tell him any of that.

"Mom! I'm home! Can me and Sam have some fruit snacks before dinner?" Seth comes running past Edward, and into the kitchen. He's breathless, and completely oblivious. And, I love him even more in this moment.

"It's Sam and I, baby." I correct him, handing over the snacks I had already pulled out for them, and he ignores me.

"Can Sam stay for dinner? Can he stay the night? His mom's waiting in the car and wants to talk to you about the kissy booth." They both pucker their lips, making kissing noises as they wiggle around. "She says it's okay. So, can he? Please? Please? Please?" The wiggle turns into a bounce as he clasps his hands together.

"Let me talk to Sam's mom and make sure it's okay, baby." He nods, running back out of the room with his loose sling flapping in the wind. He's been acting like it hasn't hurt him for days; it amazes me how quickly he's healing.

"Come on, Edward! Come push us on the tire swing!" Edward quickly glances at me before wordlessly following Seth out the back door.

I don't know if I'll ever be ready for this.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**November 24, 2011**

Thanksgiving morning

_**Bella**_

"Will you be having Thanksgiving dinner with us?" Wiping the counter, I try to act nonchalant as I wait for his answer. I had been waiting to ask him this question since the beginning of the week; possibly the beginning of the month. It gave me the perfect cover, and wouldn't seem like I was prying.

"I was hoping to. I don't have any other plans." It's the only information he offers as he comes to stand next to me, and leans against counter. Ever since that night, I notice he stands a lot closer a lot more often.

"Do you need me to help with anything? Go get anything for you?" He asks, and I can feel his breath against my cheek. Fighting the urge to close my eyes, I wonder if he knows what he's doing to me? What he does to me?

"Uh, no. I think I'm set. Thank you." I go back to wiping the counter, but he stays where he is, rooted right next to me. I can feel the heat from his body, and I still see him, even though I'm not looking at him.

I always see him.

His piercing green eyes have been burned into my memory. His copper hair had grown at least four inches. It's unruly and irresistible, and I itch to run my hands through it.

In the past two months he's shaved a total of three times, and each time I wanted to cry. I want so desperately to touch it, rub my face over it. It only adds to his sharp jaw line.

I want to lick it.

"Bella, I.."

"Mom! Edward! Grandpas are here!" Seth runs in, interrupting Edward.

"Oh, uh.. Seth's grandpas are going to be joining us. I forgot to mention it." I fib. I did remember to mention it. I just didn't. I blame my father for my lack of communication skills. I was raised on mainly nods and grunts.

"It's no big deal, Bella. I think I can handle it." Edward winks and backs away, heading in the direction of the front room. With burning cheeks, I follow, and watch as he opens the front door.

"Hello, Officer Swan. Mr. Black." Edward shakes my father's hand then bends to shake Billy's, Jake's father, who has been wheelchair bound ever since his injury. Taking a bullet to the spine will do that. Just like Edward, he had been luckier than Jake as well. At least they were still here.

Billy is the first to speak, which doesn't surprise me. "You must be Edward, Bella's told us some about you. Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps? Very impressive. I made it to First Sergeant before this happened." He taps the chair he's sitting in, and then points to Edward's right leg. "I noticed the limp. You got an injury?" Jake's dad always did know how to communicate, and rather bluntly.

"Uh, yes sir. Took a bullet to the leg, and nearly shattered the bone. I apologize for the informal introduction. Should we start again?" Billy laughs, and waves him off.

"No, son. I've been done with formality for a long time. No reason to start back up now, right Charlie?" Billy addresses my dad, clearly noticing that he hasn't said a word since Edward opened the door. With crossed arms, and a passive expression, he grunts. I roll my eyes as he walks passed Edward, and into the house without another word.

"Hey, Dad." Charlie's expression doesn't change as he kisses me on the forehead, mumbling a "Hey, baby girl," before walking off in the direction of the living room. When I turn to help Billy into the house, I see Edward's already done that.

"Hello, Bella. It's good to see you. It's been too long." He still has the look. The look of remorse, pity.

I hate it.

It's one of the reasons it's been so long, and Jake would be so upset with me if he were here, but he's not. I know Billy thinks I blame him, and maybe I do, but I'd never admit it. I lost a husband, while he lost a son. It would be cruel, and pointless.

"Hey, Billy. It's good to see you too." I offer a small smile as he wheels by to join my father. When he's out of the room, I look over at Edward.

"I'm sorry about my dad. He takes some getting used to, but he's harmless. Never brings his gun to family dinners." The look on Edward's face is one of amusement, and I can't help but smile at him.

"Come on." Jerking my head in the direction of the kitchen, I let him know to follow me. Opening the fridge, I dig out some saved Vitamin R, and I hand him two.

"Take those to him and Billy, and you will be their best friend forever. I promise you." I flash scouts honor, and he turns away with his crooked grin, just as Seth comes running back in.

"Mom! Mom! I need to tell you what I'm thankful for. The teacher told me to tell you, and I forgot." I bend down to his level because this is clearly important to him.

"I'm all ears, baby. What are you thankful for?" I find myself eager for his answer. Everything that comes out of this kid's mouth is an amusing surprise.

Placing his hands on my shoulders, he brings his face close to mine, and looks directly into my eyes. "I'm thankful that Edward came to live with us, because he's really nice and always plays with me. I hope he stays here forever.

Don't you, Mom?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Thanksgiving dinner

_**Edward**_

I had an idea of what it might be like when I finally met Bella's father. After all, I was a man that he didn't know, and I was living with his daughter. There was bound to be some tension, but I wasn't expecting silence. Now I knew where Bella got her reservation.

"Do you like football, Edward?" Billy had kept up a steady conversation with me, and I was thankful for that. The day would have consisted of uncomfortable silences, only interrupted by welcomed trips to the bathroom, if it wasn't for him and Seth.

"I do. I'm a loyal Seahawks fan, and I actually played in high school." Charlie glanced briefly in my direction. It was the most acknowledgement I'd gotten from him since the grunt. It was something, and I would take it.

"Oh, really? What position?"

"Quarterback."

"Oh, yeah? Any good?" Huffing a laugh, I shake my head. I was quickly learning that Billy didn't do subtle.

"Uh, good enough for All-State, but not good enough to win a championship." Billy nods his head, while Charlie shakes his; a hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. That was definitely something, and I would absolutely take it.

"Hey, Grandpa Charlie!" Seth yells, as he runs into the room, and jumps on Charlie's lap.

Charlie grunts, as he continues to stare at the television. "What are you up to, kiddo?"

"Dinner's ready. Mom told me to come get you. Let's go, I'm hungry." With Seth's command, we all stand and follow him into the dining room where Bella had outdone herself. It was a real holiday feast. It looked like home. Felt like home.

"Everybody, dig in." Bella gives her permission, and we all take a seat.

"Sit by me, Edward." Seth pulls out a chair for me, and I sit while he crawls into the one beside it. I look over at Bella to find her smiling at us, and I smile back; allowing myself to hold her gaze a little longer than I usually would.

"My teacher says the reason for Thanksgiving is for thanks. She says we should go around the table, and take a turn to say what we're thankful for, so we have to do it. Grandpa Billy, you start." Seth points to Billy before dropping his hand, and doing a wiggle dance in his chair.

"Okay.. uh well, I'm thankful for my wonderful family and friends, and that we could all be here together on this day of thanks." Billy ends with a satisfied grin, and a wink at Seth.

"Grandpa Charlie, go!" Charlie quirks an eyebrow at Seth's overzealous point, and clears his throat.

"Uh.. Billy took mine. I'm thankful for what Billy said." Surprisingly, Seth accepts this without a fight, and we move on.

"Your turn, Mom." Turning to look at Bella, I find her looking at me, and I have to wonder if it means anything. Is she thankful that I came into her life, like I am? Is she thankful for me, like I am for her and Seth?

Looking away, she turns her attention to Seth. "I'm thankful for you, baby. I'm thankful everyday that I had you." She bends down, and leaves a loud, lingering kiss on his cheek.

"Moooom!" Seth complains, as he pulls away, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. The kid didn't know how lucky he was. Granted she was his mother, not mine. I would never wipe away one of her kisses.

Thinking about her kisses got me thinking about that night. How my lips grazed her neck. We never talk about it, but it's still there; a silent understanding.

"Edward!" Seth yells my name_, _and I look at Bella, holding her gaze.

"I'm thankful that two months ago, I found an ad in the paper for a room to rent." Seth giggles, and I look down at him.

"You think mine is funny?" I ask, and he nods.

"Yeah. I'm thankful you live with us cause you're funny, and you play with me. And, we're done! Let's eat!" Seth digs into his mashed potatoes, and I look back up to find Bella looking at her dad, who is looking at me. His expression is stoic, which makes me worry. I was really hoping to make a good impression. I needed him to like me.

The remainder of the dinner is predominantly silent. The only people talking are Seth, and whoever he specifically addresses, and the evening could not have come to an end soon enough. When it is finally time for Charlie and Billy to leave, I gladly help them out.

"It was nice to meet you, Edward. I hope to see you again soon. Perhaps when Bella and Seth come to visit you could come along as well. I look forwar-" Billy is cut off midsentence when Charlie shuts the door, and turns to me. Grabbing me by the shoulder, he points a threatening finger in my face.

"I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen to me good. Are you listening?" I nod my head. Something told me that I would rather be placed back in the pits of hell to be shot all over again, than to cross Charlie Swan.

"Yes, Sir."

"When my daughter told me that she had let a perfectly good stranger, let alone a man, come live in her home without a moment's hesitation, I damn near drove down here to kick both of your asses. It was incredibly stupid of her, and I thought I had taught her better than that. She did it all wrong, but I understand why she did it. Even though I don't like it, I understand it. Probably just the site of you was comforting to her. I know she's a strong, independent woman, but even strong, independent women need comfort, and to feel safe. I may not say much, but I'm not stupid. I've seen the look on her face when she hears your name. And Seth, he never shuts up about you. Now that I've finally met you, I got to see the way you look at her, and it's the same way he did." He stops to look away, a flash of pain crossing his face.

"I'm going to give you a chance. One chance. I've looked you up, and I know everything there is to know about you. It was a short report, which plays in your favor. But, if I hear you did anything to hurt her, or that little boy in there, you _will _answer to me. While she trusts you, I don't, not yet." Turning to leave, he talks back over his shoulder.

"You better take good care of my little girl, Edward Cullen."

* * *

Sorry this took so long. I moved then started a new job, and it's been crazy! The next update could take a couple weeks. Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

******Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

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******Sorry this took so long.. I moved, started a new job, have no time to write, and I feel terrible about it. I just hope you're still sticking with me! This chapter got away from me, so I cut it in half. You should get the rest by the end of the week!**

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_**Edward**_

I can hear Seth squeal through his laughter. Whatever they are doing, they have been at it for awhile, and I just lazily lie here listening. I love mornings like this, when I've actually slept, and wake up to the patting of little feet, or a knocking at my door. But, there was no knock today. Bella must have gotten up before him.

Rolling over to my back, I bend my knee, and suck in a sharp breath. The tender muscles, and tendons resist the simple strain; screeching and screaming for me to stop; to stretch my leg back out, and keep it there forever. It has always been stiff in the morning, but ever since the day I ran to Seth in a thoughtless panic, it's been relentless; unforgiving.

Bending it further, I ignore the burn. Pulling my leg close to my chest, I'm almost certain something's going to snap, but it doesn't; it never does. It gives, and gives, and gives some more until the burn is gone; replaced with a pulsating ache.

I reach for my bedside bottle of generic pain relievers. Taking two, I down them dry. I sit up, leaning against the headboard, and wait for them to kick in while I continue to listen; desperate to be a part of the fun they're having.

"It's okay, Mom. He doesn't care if I knock. He said so." I can hear Seth, and he's close; right outside the door.

"Seth! Do you wake him up every morning?" I hear some shushing, and muffled noises before Bella's voice is clear again. "You shouldn't bother Edward, Baby." She says, and I want to yell out. Tell her no, it's okay. He can knock on my door; you can knock on my door any time, day or night. In fact, I want to tell her to knock on my door _every night_; slip into the cold, lonely bed beside me, and warm it up. But, those thoughts get pushed to the back of my mind when there's a faint knocking.

"Come in." I deliberately stay propped up, shirtless. Even though she doesn't touch, I still want her to see, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of her.

Seth pushes the door open. Bounding in, he jumps on the edge of the bed. "You're up!" He beams, crawling over me to lean against the headboard with me.

"Morning." I look up at Bella, and she's wearing my favorite cream colored sweater again. My heart aches at the site of her. I feel a familiar buzz where the back of my head meets my neck; the one that says she's right there, and you can't have her.

It drives me crazy; makes me pull my hair just to get some relief; makes me want to scream, 'just let me touch you; just tell me I can!'

"Morning." I repeat, matching her sleepy smile, and I pat the bed. She hesitantly walks over, sitting on the edge, and her jean clad hip touches my sheet covered thigh. My breath comes easier, but it's quickened.

That's just what she does to me.

"Guess what, Edward?" Seth bounces on his bottom, shaking the whole bed, and I feel Bella's hand on my thigh. My heart jump starts with a thump, and I take in a shaky, but silent breath. I try not to look at her; her hand.

I try.

I fail.

I'm not listening as Seth tells me about the mistletoe they hung over the entryway to the kitchen. I'm watching the subtle way Bella's fingers curl; thinking about how she's still touching me; how she hasn't stopped; how I've never once had ill feelings toward a sheet until now. I want to kick it off, throw it on the ground, stomp on it, and then set it on fire.

That's just what she does to me.

Seth is still talking as my gaze moves up her body, settling on her face. Hers is on my stomach, my chest, my lips. She forgoes my eyes, roaming back down to my chest again, and I smile. I don't really think; I can't; I act. I let my arm fall to the side, and then pull it back, running it along her leg. When I rest my hand on her knee, she doesn't stop me, so I finger the inside.

I watch her chest rise and fall out of the corner of my eye.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Dr. Banner

"How was your Thanksgiving, Edward?" I clear my throat, remembering the Chief's threats; the pain that flashed across his face before he granted me permission to pursue his daughter, in his own way.

"It was good. I spent it with Bella and Seth. I got to meet both Jake's father as well as Bella's. It went okay." I leave out the unnecessary detail.

"Has she met your family?" I quirk an eyebrow, smirking as my amusement peaks. He always knows exactly what to say to throw me off.

"No."

"Why is that?" I scoff.

"Uh, they haven't been able to visit." I shrug.

"Do they know about her?" I nod, remembering that first conversation I had about them with my mother. She said she wasn't crying, but I knew she was. I could hear it.

"Yes. They know all about her and Seth. My mother desperately wants to meet them both."

"Does Bella know about them?" I clear my throat again, shifting on the brown, suede couch. He sees right through me.

"No."

"Why is that?" Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees. Feeling chastened by his questions, I need to pull myself in; close myself off in some way. I hadn't really listened to a word he has said, and he knows it.

"She hasn't asked."

"Do you think she has to ask for you to tell her about your life?" I scratch an itch on my scruffy jaw.

"No."

"From what you've told me about her she's quite reserved, and keeps to herself. Why are you waiting for her to come to you?" He tilts his head; genuinely curious; like he doesn't know the answer; like he doesn't know me. He's sly, and sneaky. He's good.

"I don't know. What if she's not asking because she's not interested?"

"Are _you_ interested? Do _you_ really want to change your relationship with her? Do _you_ want to be with her?" His fingers are brought together to a point. He directs them at me with every '_you' _that he utters.

"Yes, more than anything." Leaning forward, Dr. Banner looks me in the eye.

"Edward, do you remember what I said about communication?" I nod, looking away.

"It's key." I hear him lean back, content just to hear me say the words. He has the patience of a saint, this man.

"Yes. Yes it is."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Edward! O. M. G. Like, where have you been?" Seth comes running out of the kitchen with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his hand. Most of the jelly is on his chin.

"Uh.." Before I can come up with an answer, Bella is standing in the doorway, saving me.

"Seth, calm down and how many times have I told you not run or talk with food in your mouth? Come wipe your chin." She playfully smacks his butt as he flies by; completely ignoring what she just told him.

"Like, O.M.G., Edward. Some of the junior high girls spent the afternoon in the school gym decorating for tonight's festival, and they taught my son some new phrases." She smiles, rolling her eyes.

"How many girlfriends do you have now, Seth?" She snickers at the disgusted face he makes.

"Girls are gross, Mom." I lean against the opposite door frame, enjoying their banter.

"He was surrounded when I picked him up. They were fawning all over him; running their hands through his hair; pinching his cheeks." She sighs. "He can't help it, ya know? It's just something he was born with." Bella's smile falters, but it's back before she meets my eyes. I don't let on that I noticed.

"O.M.G., Mom. You and Edward are standing under the mistletoe. You have to kiss!" Seth jumps down from his stool. Bending over, he sticks his finger in his open mouth, making gagging noises.

And once again, I don't think; I can't; I act.

Pushing myself off the doorframe, I come to stand directly in front of her. I lean forward, feeling her forced breath fan across my neck. I fight the urge to close my eyes by looking into hers.

Sparkling, wide, and uncertain, they never leave me as I rest my arm above her head. I want to touch her; turn her uncertain, certain by running my fingers over her lip, and down her neck. I want to feel her swallow against me before dipping down to finger her collarbone. But, we're not alone so I keep my hands to myself.

Licking my lips, I lower them to corner of her mouth. She's soft, and peanut butter sweet. Her breath now hot, and moist on my cheek; she leaves me wanting when she doesn't turn her head.

And, I linger for only a moment; a powerful, pivotal moment; before pulling away. My heart beats against my aching chest, trying to break free, trying to get closer. It echoes in my ears.

Thump-thump.

Thump-thump.

A-gain.

A-gain.

It's just what she does to me.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Winter Festival

I've been following Seth around like a little lost puppy dog; trying to stay away from the far corner of the gym where Bella and Rose are setting up the kissing booth. It's all I can think about; how I got the corner of her mouth while others get her full on the lips.

I think about it while I watch Seth play Duck-O-War. I think about it while he tosses the rings, the bean bags, and shoots the basketballs. When we come to the fast pitch, he begs me to win him a prize, and I do. I win him multiples; even setting a festival record all thanks to that Godforsaken kissing booth.

"Let's go find my mom. I want to show her all these prizes I won!" Seth vibrates with pride, but what he really means is the prizes I won for him. I nod, even though I have zero desire to go find his mother lip locked with some punk I may, or may not have put the crack down on in Basics. Or worse, one of those single fathers who knows how to work their cute little kid to his advantage.

My insides feel out of place, flipped, and over-heated. I find my fists unconsciously clenched, and I haven't even seen anything yet; which scares me.

What was I capable of if I see something; _when_ I see something?

I shouldn't be this irrational. She's not mine. But, she is. I haven't asked her to be, but do I really need to? Yes, I decide I do really need to. I have no say. I have no rights until I ask for them; until she gives them to me.

I rub Seth's head, pointing in the direction I knew she'd be; I can feel her; I always feel her. It keeps me sane from not being able to touch her.

I follow him as he jumps, and skips, and dodges the crowd. The closer we get, the louder my eardrums beat. It's steady and bearable until I see her sitting behind that red and white striped booth. She's smiling, and laughing, and breaking my heart without even knowing it. Her eyes brighten, her hair shines under the all telling track lighting, and she's still beautiful; even more so.

"I'm gonna go show Mom, okay. You stay here." Seth says, pulling at my sleeve. And when I turn to tell him it's okay, I see Rose standing with Emmett. She's flushed and her lips are abnormally red; freshly kissed red, and he looks bitter; slightly broken.

My stomach turns, and before I realize what I'm doing, I'm tapping the shoulder of Bella's first suitor; wordlessly telling him to get up so I can sit down.

"How much were you hoping to make tonight?" Her brows furrow in the cutest way. It makes me want to kiss her forehead first.

"I don't know. I think Rose has her sights set on two hundred. Why?" She tilts her head, smiling her best smile, and I hand her two hundred and fifty. She starts to laugh.

"What are you doing? If you want a kiss, it's only a dollar, and you'll need smaller bills. I can't break these." She hands me the money back; teasing.

But, I'm not.

"What if I want all of your kisses?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

_**Bella**_

I had gotten used to the extra beat of my heart; the one that belongs to him. It doesn't surprise me when he walks into the room, and it flutters; adjusting to his presence. He makes it compensate; he always has. He takes my breath. He leaves me dizzy. I had come to expect it.

But, this is different. It's a hum. My heart no longer beats for him; it hums, it sings, it soars as his words hang in the air.

_What if I want all of your kisses?_

Edward has been with us for exactly three months, and we have spent every one of those days together. His touches are growing more frequent, and greater in number. Always innocently, he touches the ends of my hair as we talk about nothing; sometimes pushing it back over my shoulder, lightly running his thumb along my neck. But, the thing we lack is any real verbal communication.

_What if I want all of your kisses?_

"Edward." It's only a whisper, but I know he hears it.

He hands the money back over, and I take it; my eyes never leaving his.

"Give me a minute." He nods, and I hold on to the booth to keep from falling as I stand. I walk over to Rose on wobbly knees.

"Bella! What the hell are you doing? Get back over there and make some money with those kissable lips." She squeezes my cheeks, and I swat her away.

"Here's two fifty. I'm done. You can tell them that the booth is closed." I can tell she's slightly jealous, and just dying to ask how I did it, but I cut her off.

"Can you watch Seth for a minute? I just need some air." She nods, counting and recounting two hundreds and one fifty, and I walk back over to Edward.

He's still sitting in the chair, waiting for me. Familiar butterflies flutter as I run my hand down his arm, intertwining our fingers. His are rough against my soft. Calloused from years of service, and the time and effort he puts forth to take care of Seth and me.

Leading him outside, it's dark, and deserted. My heart hums so loudly, I'm sure he can hear it.

"Seth says you set a record." I try to stall, smiling over my shoulder. But Edward stops, turning me toward him, he doesn't let me.

"I was thinking about you." Moving the hair from my shoulder, his thumb skims my neck. A familiar heat floods me, as it comes to rest over my pulse point.

"About those men kissing you." He applies the smallest amount of pressure, backing me up against the wall, and my mouth falls open. On command; it waits for him.

I close my eyes as he tilts my head back. Lowering his mouth, he hovers over mine, and I swallow his cinnamon spiced breath. "Tell me to stop, Bella, and I'll stop." His already deep voice deepens; vibrating everywhere we touch. It intensifies the thready thrum under the heaviness of his thumb.

"Oh God." I exhale, releasing a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Placing my hand over his, I hold him against my neck. "Don't stop." I'm hoarse, begging; dizzy with need as I fist his dark wool sweater, and pull him closer. I softly cry out when he takes in my bottom lip.

His soft, warm wetness only teases me as his tongue lightly sweeps. I let him taste before I pull it out, closing my mouth over his. I flush with eagerness. Rubbing against him, I feel him harden as our tongues meet. I moan into his heated flesh as he holds me in place, thrusting where I need him most.

My mind swims as I grope, and grasp. My thoughts are scattered, irrational, and I almost cry when I'm unable to pull him any closer. I want him; need him in me. Not just my body, but my heart, my mind, my soul. I want to crawl into him, curl up; cage myself under his ribs.

Gripping his hair, I kiss him impossibly harder. He groans, digging into my hips, giving me all of his weight. But, it's still not enough; not even close, and I pull away gasping.

"Please!" I cry, not sure what I'm asking for; what he's willing to give; what I'm willing to do here in the deserted school parking lot… probably anything.

He lays his forehead against mine. We breathe, and pant as his hands slide under the hem of my sweater. He exposes warm skin to the biting, cold night as his fingers work the button of my jeans. Touching his lips to the hollow of my neck, he lowers the zipper, and mumbles against sensitive skin.

"Is this what you want, Bella? Do you want me to touch you here?" His hand slips in, gently cupping me.

"Yes." I breathe out, resting my head against the brick, I push into him.

"O. M. G." We hear it before we see anything. Edward withdraws his hand, stepping to the side to block me, and I quickly fasten my pants. Pulling down my sweater, I run my hands through the back of my hair, and I look up at him. My heart is inconsolable as it quivers inside my chest, and up into my throat.

"I'm sorry." He says, shaking his head. He looks worried, but relieved at the same time, and I understand. Seth could have been the one to catch us.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you dirty little slut." Rose runs over, squealing. And I push away from the wall, walking past her. She turns to grab my arm, interlocking it with hers, and walks with me. I fight the urge to look back as we turn the corner to the entrance of the school. I don't want to leave him, but I also don't want him subjected to Rose's antics. I can't stand the thought of her cheapening us in front of him.

"Why didn't you tell me you were banging Mr. Hottie Hot Jawline?" Rose asks, pulling me closer, to talk into my ear.

"Mr. Who?" I question, shooting her a strange look.

"Oh, that's what all the other mothers call him. He's all they talk about. You're going to be the most hated mother around this school. You might as well give up your PTA seat now before it gets ugly." She crinkles her nose, giving me the most sympathetic blue eyes, and I roll mine.

"Whatever, Rose. Where's my son?" I ask, but she doesn't have to answer me. I can hear his laughter.

"Mom! Mom! Look, I won a fish! Can you believe it? Where's Edward? I want to show him too." I bend down ignoring his question, and we watch the fish swim through opposite sides of the clear plastic bag.

"Your face looks funny." He laughs, pressing his thumb against my nose. And I try to bite him, making him laugh a little harder.

"Where's Edward? I want him to help me name it." Sighing, I stand up; I run my hands through his hair, and he actually lets me; like he knows I need it.

"I don't know, Baby. Let's see if we can find him." He nods, taking my hand, and we start to walk around the gym. Halfway through, he stops me, raising his hands in the air.

"I can't walk anymore, Mommy. Will you carry me?" He puts on his best pout; playing the 'Mommy' card, and I can already feel my back starting to ache as I bend down, taking him in my arms. I'm beat by the time we get back to where we started.

"Maybe he's outside." Seth mumbles, laying his head on my shoulder, and I redistribute his weight.

"Hey, Bella!" I look up to see Emmett walking towards us, and I hope Edward is with him. I was starting to worry.

"I'm glad I found you. Edward wanted me to tell you that he was leaving. Said he'd be home later." He relays Edward's message, and my heart stutters for two reasons. One, he left. And two, he called it home.

"Oh ok, thanks. Can you tell Rose bye for me? I think Seth's had enough, and I know I have." He laughs, rubbing Seth's head, and gives me a knowing wink. I try not to groan as I turn away, and walk back out into the biting, cold night.

I hope beyond hope that Edward is waiting for us at _home._

**.**

**.**

**.**

When Seth and I reach the house, the lights are still out. There's no sign that Edward has been here.

"Where's Edward, Mom?" Seth asks again, between a long yawn as I unlock the door.

"I don't know, Baby. Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed. I'll be up to tuck you in." He nods, his eyes heavy with sleep, as he slowly treks up the stairs.

I quietly walk down the back hallway and peak into Edward's room. When I find he's not there, I pick up the phone to call him, but think better of it. Walking into the living room, I draw back the curtain in the bay window, and I sit; I stare out into nothingness; willing him to appear.

I knew I shouldn't have left him. It was so stupid. I should have grabbed his hand; held it proudly as I told Rose what she could do with her demeaning, yet completely accurate nickname.

Drawing my eyebrows together, I let out a small pout. He does have a nice jaw line, and I miss it. I want him to come home so I can tell him so. I want him to know that I miss it when it's gone; I miss him. I chastise myself for not paying more attention to it as it scratched my sensitive chin.

Resting my head back against the wall, I close my eyes; I don't know how long I've been sitting here before I realize Seth has stopped making noise, so I hesitantly leave my perch. I climb the stairs slowly walking in to Seth's room to find him already fast asleep under the covers; completely dressed, shoes and all. I doubt he brushed his teeth.

Kissing him softly, I make my way back downstairs. I pour a glass of water, drinking it as I walk into the living room, and sit down on the couch. I turn the T.V. on only to turn it back off. I flip through a magazine in between glances at the door. And, after what seems like hours of waiting for Edward, I stop fighting, and fall asleep.

I barely wake when I feel a jostle. I know it's him as I curl up into warmth, and woodsy soap. My arms wrap around his neck as he lifts me off the couch to rest against his hard chest. I don't argue as he carries me up the stairs, and places me on my bed.

"Stay." I grab his arm, pulling him down to lie beside me. I don't give him a choice as I wrap my legs around his, snuggling into him on top of the covers. I place my hand against his jaw.

"Just for awhile. I missed you."

* * *

Repeat A/N: ******Sorry this took so long.. I moved, started a new job, have no time to write, and I feel terrible about it. I just hope you're still sticking with me! This chapter got away from me, so I cut it in half. You should get the rest by the end of the week! Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

******Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

**So I added to this next chapter, then cut it in half again! I promise to have the next chap up in a couple days! **

* * *

_**Edward**_

Running my hands through her hair, I watch her brow relax. Her pink lips part, and I lean down to kiss them.

"Edward?" I jump back, making the bed shake. I squeeze my lips together, bringing my finger to my mouth; motioning for Seth to be quiet.

"Where were you? We looked everywhere." He whispers, climbing up on the bed. Lying down on the other side of Bella, he starts to play with the ends of her hair, and I cringe. It was only a matter of time before we woke her.

"I went for a walk." I whisper back.

"In the dark?" I nod.

"Were you exercising your leg?" I nod again; not telling the truth, but not really lying either.

"You wanna see something cool?" Popping up, he scoots off the bed. I close my eyes until the bed stops shaking.

"Come on!" He whisper yells, and I take one last look at Bella's sleeping form. My lips tingle as I consider kissing her in front of him, but quickly decide against it.

Carefully rolling off of the bed, I cover her, and follow him to his room. His growing hair stands up straight in the back; bouncing slightly with every step. It makes me smile that his hair is as unruly as mine.

"I won it all by myself." Giggling, he grabs a plastic bag full of water, and holds it out to me. "Isn't it cool?" I bend down at the waist.

"That's way cool, Bud. What's his name?" I run my finger over the bag, and the fish follows; its mouth opening and closing as it swims along.

"He doesn't have one. I wanted you to help me. What should we name him?" Standing back up, I rub my jaw, feigning serious thought.

"How 'bout Nemo?" Seth shakes his head.

"He's not a clown fish." Smart kid.

"Uhh.. Goldie?" Seth laughs out loud, quickly covering his mouth. His wide eyes narrow as he continues to snicker.

"He's not a girl, Edward. Be serious." I huff a laugh through my nose. Rubbing his head, I walk by and plop down on his bed. I lie back, and Seth climbs in beside me.

"Mr. Bubbles?"

"No."

"Big Mouth Marty?" Smiling, he shakes his head.

"Huh-uh."

"Gaper the Goldfish?" He gives me an incredulous look.

"What's gaper?" He asks, and I smile so hard I can hardly see.

"See how his mouth opens and closes like that?" Seth nods.

"That is gaping." He nods again in understanding, and then he shakes his head.

"No. That's a terrible name." Setting the fish on the floor, he rolls over to face me. He tucks his hands under his cheek. His eyes move about while he thinks.

"I think I like Robert." Flipping, he grabs the fish again. He sets the bag on his stomach.

"Robert's good. He looks like a Robert." He nods in agreement.

"I think so too." Poking the bag, he giggles as the fish bolts to the other side.

"We can call him Bob. Ya know, bob like a fish?" He gives me another look.

"He _is_ a fish, Edward." Scoffing, he places the fish on the bedside table. I poke his belly, and he jerks away, squealing. I pull him back, tickling his sides.

"You think you're so smart." Chuckling deeply, he gasps for breath.

"Y-yes!" He yells out, and I shush him. Settling, we lie back down, facing each other.

"Are you going to sleep in my bed?" He asks, breathless, and I shrug.

"Do you want me to?" He nods.

"Do you want to?" I nod, and he flips away. Lifting my arm, he snuggles his back against my chest.

"Night, Edward. I love you." My heart stutters, and I tighten my hold; nuzzling my nose into his hair. I smile as I breathe in candy apples, and sweat.

"I love you too, Bud. Night."

**.**

**.**

**.**

_**Bella**_

I wake alone, wrapped in covers, missing the warmth of his body. I can hear them playing outside in the yard, and I close my eyes to listen.

Edward is still 'it' because he's only touched Seth's shirt. Seth continues to huff, and puff, and squeal when Edward gets close. But, never close enough.

I smile, sleepily knowing Edward could easily catch him, but doesn't. He plays along, letting Seth believe he has a chance against a grown man. A grown man he looks up to, admires, and respects, possibly loves.

My heart thumps against my chest as I rub my neck, and jaw; trying to soothe the dull ache; trying to understand how one can feel so happy, and sad, all at the same time.

Guilt eats at me. Guilt for Jake; guilt for Edward; guilt for feeling guilty about him; guilt for Seth not having a father; guilt for thinking of Edward as his father figure; guilt for how I want Edward; how I want him more than I ever wanted Jake.

Shoving my contorted face into the pillow, it consumes my yells, screams, and cries; it comforts me; it always has.

Coming up only to gasp for air, I let it all out. The happiness, the sadness, the guilt for it all; until I'm spent, weakened, and worn out from the strain, and then I roll over; resting my head on the dry pillow, as it cools my overheated skin.

And, I sleep.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Mooom.." I feel a light tapping in the middle of my forehead. "Get up! I need to go buy a tank for Bob. Swimming in this bag makes him sad, see?" Cool, wetness hits my cheek. Blinking my eyes open, I'm face to face with Seth's goldfish. And, he's right; Bob does look sad.

"I'm up, Baby." Seth jumps off the bed, and I push back the covers. Rolling out, I make my way into the bathroom to wash my face. Turning on the faucet, I forgo looking in the mirror as it warms. Testing the temperature with my hand, I dip my face down into tepid water. My eyes remain shut when I feel him pull back a stray hair.

"I can take him. It's no trouble." I can't help my shiver as he places it behind my ear, trailing his fingers down my neck, and over my shoulder. When I hear myself breathing, I shut my mouth. My eyes burn hot with fresh tears as I remember the guilt I hold for him; against him.

"Or you can come with us." His voice sounds closer. His breath fans my neck as his hand trails down my back, settling over my hip. I grip the counter, and he squeezes lightly.

I feel like I should tell him to stop. But with my eyes shut tight, I solely focus on his woodsy scent; the heat of his breath; the heaviness of his touch. I feel an ache so aggravatingly deep that I consider asking him to sooth it; I imagine all the ways he could. And then, I punish myself for such a thought.

Bending slightly, I reach out for a towel, and feel the cool bulge of his jeans settle against my warmth. I refrain from whimpering; from rubbing myself on him; even though I know it wouldn't take me long. I feel embarrassment remembering the way I begged him; pleaded with him to touch me; the way I still want him to touch me.

"Here." The fluffy cotton of my softest hand towel skims the palm of my hand. Wiping my face, I look up at him in the mirror. The green of his eyes has darkened, and he lightly presses into me before pulling away. I'm about to ask him why he's stopped, when Seth rounds the corner into the bathroom.

"Edward! There you are!" My mouth drops, and Edward gives me a wink. He had heard him coming.

"Let's go! Bob's being impatient, and I don't have all day." Edward and I smile at each other in silent amusement before I shoo them out so I can get dressed.

The ride to the pet store is quiet, but comfortable. I watch Edward's hands as they grip, and slide across the wheel. I want him to hold mine. I want him to rest his on my leg; draw lazy circles against the rough of my jeans. But, he doesn't and I find myself dishearteningly relieved.

He parks the car, and I watch him get out. He automatically goes for the back door to unhook Seth from his booster seat, and my heart is humming. The tears resurface with a vengeance, and I'm afraid I won't be able to get out; go in; be seen in public ever again.

Sucking in a breath, I fan my face. I desperately need to stop crying; so much crying; it's unnatural. I start when I hear a knocking at my window.

"You coming?" Holding Seth's hand, he opens my door, and holds out his other. I take it. He doesn't let go on the walk up to the store. And, after he opens the door for us, he takes my hand in his again. Butterflies flutter as I look down at our intertwined fingers.

"Where are the fish tanks?" Seth asks, walking up to a dark skinned man in a blue polo. His name tag reads Quil, and I loosen my grip. Edward let's go as I rush after him.

"Bella? Oh my God, Bella? Is Jake here? Is he with you?" Quil looks around, searching for someone who isn't there; who'll never be there again. I'm breathing so hard I feel faint.

"You knew my dad?" Quil looks at me before kneeling down to Seth. He smiles in awe, tousling his hair. "I did, and you look just like him. Did you know that?" Seth nods. Smiling up at me, he grabs my hand, and I can only hope I'm smiling back.

Standing, Quil continues to touch Seth's head as he steps closer. "When Bella? Why didn't you tell me? You know I would have t-" I hold up my hand, cutting him off.

"Please don't, Quil. It's been six years. We're doing fine; great even." Looking back, I see Edward watching us intently. It makes my stomach turn to have him so far away.

"Six years?" He whispers, rubbing his forehead. "Well, are you at the same place? Can I come see you? I've got some money saved. I can t-"

"Is everything okay, Bella?" Tension is heavy in Edward's voice.

"Yeah uh, Edward this is Quil; an old friend. Quil this is Edward; he's, uh.. staying with me; with us. I mean, uh.." I stutter. I look up at Edward, silently asking him what I should say. Asking him to show me; tell me. Were we together? Weren't we? Did he want to be?

I let out a held breath when his arm drapes over my shoulders.

"Pleasure." Holding out his hand, Quil looks him up and down before taking it.

"Mom! Edward! Come on, I found the perfect tank! Edward, will you carry it? Mom, can I get some of these little rocks, and this big castle? I'm pretty sure Bob needs a castle. Please? Please? Please?" Seth comes bouncing over, and I quickly agree; feeling like the worst mother in the world because that's twice today, I didn't realize where my kid was.

I say a quick goodbye to Quil; wrapping my arm around Edward's back, I turn us away from him, and we head back out to the car after paying for Bob's purchases. Edward doesn't let go of me until he's opened my door.

I can't help but watch him again as he gets Seth settled in his booster seat. He instinctively kisses him on the side of the head once he's belted in, and my heart warms at the sight. He briefly looks at me before shutting the back door, and getting in himself.

The drive back home is reminiscent of the drive to the store. However, this time I look out the window; only turning when I feel the weighted warmth of Edward's hand on my inner thigh.

"So, this old friend.. Is he your old friend?" He asks, I smile; taking him in. He's strained, and the clench in his jaw gives it a sharper definition. Resting my arm on the side of his seat, I run my thumb up his neck, and over his stubble. My other hand covers the one gripping my thigh, and he visibly relaxes.

"Yes." His grip tightens on the wheel, but remains relaxed against me. I look towards the back seat to find Seth sleeping.

"He was a friend to the both of us, but we had a falling out right before Jake and I got married." Swallowing, I moisten my lips. Removing my eyes from Seth's sleeping form; I focus on Edward's reactions.

"He came to me the night before the wedding, drunk and sloppy. He told me I was making a mistake; that Jake wasn't giving me any kind of life being away months at a time." I lean back, closing my eyes, and Edward squeezes my thigh.

"It's okay, Bella. You don't have to tell me." I shake my head.

"No, I do. I want to." He nods once, squeezing me again, and my head lulls toward him.

"He asked me to marry him instead; said that he loved me, that he always had. And, when I said no, he went crazy; throwing things, yelling, cursing. Jake came home in the middle of it all to find me huddled in a corner, crying." I take a deep breath before continuing.

"I had never seen Jake hit anyone before. He was a big guy; much bigger than Quil, but he was never violent. Gentle giant; that's what my dad used to call him." I smile remembering the days when things were simple, easy. "Anyway, he came to the wedding to talk to me. I only heard him out because he was sober. But I never told Jake that he was there, or what he said."

"What did he say?" Edward briefly looks over at me before focusing back on the road.

"He said, if anything ever happened to Jake, he would be there. He would take care of me; all I had to do was ask."

* * *

I've written an outtake in EPOV for **StandUp4Katalina**! If you want, you can follow Sergeant Major Edward Cullen through the circumstances and events that earned him his Purple Heart; in turn, leading him to Bella's door. You just have to go here ** .info** and donate first! Link is on my profile to make it easier :) Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

******Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

_**Bella**_

"I haven't seen you in awhile, Bella. How have you been?" The tears are immediate, and I can't stop them. I snort in a shaky breath, as hot streaks burn their way down my cheeks. It feels good to cry in front of someone; to be able to lose it while someone watches; listens; understands.

"Does it stop? The pain, does it ever stop?" I shake my head, letting out a sob. It's liberating, this anger; the release of it.

"I feel like I've been ripped open, right here." I point to my sternum; the very core. With nothing protected, I can't breathe.

"How do you do it? How do you move on?" I watch his face fall, and I swallow an apology, but I need to know.

"Bella, I.." Clearing his throat, he looks away. Looking back, he starts over.

"You don't get over these sorts of things, Bella." My silent cries shake my shoulders. I came here for comfort, and he's saying all the wrong things.

"You just accept them." wringing his hands, he clears his hoarse throat once more.

"What's brought you here today, Bella? What's gotten you so upset?" Changing the subject, he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I, uh.. I met someone." A fresh wave of guilt hits me. Blinking out a new wave of tears, I take in a deep breath.

"Edward. You met him on Halloween, remember? He's been renting the extra room." His mouth opens as his grey, bushy eyebrows lift.

"I kissed him." Licking my lips, I remember. I memorized his mouth; how it felt against mine. I think; I know if ardency had a taste, it would be cinnamon.

"It's stupid, right? What I'm doing? The things I'm thinking." Meeting my eyes, he shakes his head.

"No, Bella. You're entitled to your thoughts. What are you thinking?"

"I, uh.." I look away, feeling embarrassed.

"We ran into Quil the other day." Looking back, I see him purse his lips; nod in understanding. "I didn't even know he was in town; living here. He didn't even know about Jake. I guess I shouldn't have expected him to, since we haven't spoken. Anyway, all of these old memories came flooding back, ya know? How he came to me; offered himself as an alternative." Stopping, I take a breath. "I told Edward about what he did; what he said. But, I didn't tell him about my moment of weakness when I almost contacted Quil, and took him up on it." I let out a sob. Just that fact that I considered him makes me sick, and I don't want Edward to know.

"I just keep thinking that I know this isn't just another moment of weakness. This is it; the real thing; more real than anything before. I want Edward. In every way, I want him; his strength, his protection, his… body." I flush as my voice lowers. "I want him in all the ways I wanted Jake; as a husband, a lover, a friend.. a father to my son." I close my eyes, pushing out the tears. "But I want him more, and I hate myself for it." Swallowing the bile, I look up to see Dr. Banner regarding me closely.

"I wouldn't normally say this, Bella. But, I knew you and Jake. Young and carefree; you two were refreshing. I saw your love for what it was; innocent, unscathed. You were kids, but I could tell he loved you, Bella; through and through." Nodding, I uselessly wipe my face.

"He would have wanted you to be happy because that's what love is; whether it be with him or not." Taking in a deep breath, I slowly blow it out. I nod.

"I know."

**.**

**.**

**.**

I'm on my hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor; finding solace in mind-numbing, manual labor when I hear them talking in the other room.

"Hey, Edward. You got a mom?"

Stopping, I wipe the sweat from my brow. Crawling across the floor, I move closer. Resting on my knees right inside the kitchen entrance; I listen.

"Yes."

"What's her name?"

"Esme."

"Do you have a dad?"

"Yes. His name is Carlisle." I smile when Edward beats him to the punch. He has learned well.

"Those are weird names." I can sense Edward's amusement with Seth's unfiltered thought, and I snicker to myself. The kid is right. They are weird names.

"Are they ever going to visit? Why don't you see them? Can I meet them?"

Gripping the doorframe, I hold my breath. Edward has never mentioned meeting his family. In fact, we haven't really talked since that day at the pet shop. I can only imagine what he's thinking; me being gone almost every evening while Seth stays with Rose. He probably thinks I've been seeing Quil.

"Well, I talk to them on the phone, but they live very far away. They wanted me to come visit them for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I told them I wanted to stay here with you and your mom. You guys are more fun." Seth laughs, and I smile so large my cheeks go numb.

"Do you have a sister or brother?"

"I have a sister named Alice and she married my best friend Jasper so now we're kind of like brothers."

I hold my aching chest; thrilled to be learning about Edward's family; ashamed that the most I've learned of his past has come from my child's curiosity. I know Dr. Banner is right, I do. I know I need to talk to him; tell him what I'm thinking; feeling. Let him know that I want him to be a bigger part of our life; that I want us to be a bigger part of his. But, it's just not that easy.

"I want a brother. I guess I would take a sister, but I really want a brother. Do you think you and my mom could get me one for Christmas?" Silence follows Seth's question, and I'm glad that I'm not in the living room with them. Edward's answer catches me off guard.

"Maybe you should ask your mom about that." _What?_

Quickly standing, I contemplate running out the back door, but Seth is just too fast.

"Mom!" Seth yells as he charges in; a grinning Edward trailing behind him.

"Can you and Edward get me a brother for Christmas?" He clasps his hands together; hoping, praying, working his adorable 'say yes' magic.

Edward is trying to control his laughter as I gape at him like Bob, Seth's fish. I can see he's going to be of no help.

"Well, it doesn't really work that way, Seth."

"How does it work?" He looks at me like I hold all of life's answers, and I know I'm going to let him down.

I don't have any; not for him. _He's too young!_

"Well Seth, when two people really like each other..." I pause, looking down at him; he's quiet and stationary; waiting patiently.

"They, uh.." I start again, clearing my throat, trying to buy some time; hoping for a distraction that never comes.

"They do grownup things that you're too young to know about." I blurt out, and he shows his appreciation with a scowl; crossing his arms over his chest.

"Wouldn't you rather have a bike?" Edward steps in, and I'm eternally grateful. I mouth a thank you as Seth thinks it over, tapping a finger against his chin.

"Okay! Yeah!" He jumps and turns to run out of the room only to turn around, and come back in.

"Maybe next Christmas you guys can get me a brother!" Laughing, he runs back out of the room, and I chance a look at Edward.

Heart already humming, I find him looking at me.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Friday night is movie night, and it starts out like all the others. I pop the popcorn, Edward pours the drinks, and Seth picks the movie; always Toy Story 3. But, while Seth usually sits between us, he opts to stretch out on the far edge of the couch, which leaves me limited space in the middle. And when Edward sits down, his thigh touches mine, intensifying the ache I constantly feel for him.

His heat burns; branding me through jeans, skin, muscle, and bone. I feel him everywhere, always, day and night, night and day. My fantasies have run rampant ever since that night; the night of our unfinished kiss; all different; all consuming. We did it on this couch in one of them.

I'm jolted from my reverie when Seth kicks my side, sending me further into Edward. I place my hand on his knee as his arm reaches up and over my shoulders to fall behind my back. Tickling Seth's foot, he makes him giggle and thrash until he moves further down the couch out of reach. And, when I start to move away Edward tightens his grip. Looking over at Seth, I find him seemingly uninterested, so I don't fight it. I let him hold me.

He feels good, warm; smells good too. Freshly showered, his hair is still damp; giving off a fresh, strong scent of wet wood. I desperately want to sniff him; nuzzle him with my nose; right in the crook of his neck; along his jaw. Then I want to taste him. I want to taste the popcorn and Coke that crossed his lips.

Halfway through the movie Seth has fallen asleep, and I'm still focusing on Edward's smell, his taste, the heaviness of his arm that's draped around me. The fingers that had been drawing lazy circles on my shoulder now run down the length of my arm. Sighing, I rest my head against him; causing my shirt to rise, and when I feel those fingers on my exposed skin, my nerve endings catch fire. I breathe in deep, the damp woodsy scent; it makes me dizzy. Running my hand up his inner thigh, I softly touch my lips to his neck, and he groans. _Groans. _Lifting my head, our noses graze.

"Dad?" Seth wakes. Heart pounding, I lean back, facing him, when I realize what he's said. I let him climb over me, and he comes to rest on Edward's lap. The fire that I felt rushes to my chest as his large frame wraps around my small son.

I watch as he stands; easily adjusting Seth in his arms. Grabbing my hand, he brings me up with him, and I silently follow as he turns to lead me up the stairs.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_**Edward**_

I saw Bella's surprise. What she doesn't know is that Seth has called me that before. The first time it happened I wasn't sure how to correct him, so I didn't. I didn't know how to bring it up, so I kept it to myself. I was pretty sure he wasn't even aware he was saying it. It didn't happen all that often.

"Thanks for carrying him up here. He's getting too heavy for me." She smiles before hesitantly sliding between me and the bed to get to Seth. Her back is flush with my front, and I don't move as she bends to give him a kiss. Silently, I take her hand to lead her back downstairs. I know we need to talk, and she feels most comfortable in the kitchen.

Given the silence, our feet are heavy, and loud against the wooden steps. Only when we reach the kitchen, do I let go of her hand. I consider grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge, and then I do. Taking a long swig, I hand her one and she readily accepts it. We don't drink often, but it's always readily available, which seems to be coming in handy right now. I think we need it for this. I know I do.

"I'm in therapy. I have been ever since my injury. I had a lot of nightmares, and the docs thought I might have PTSD, so they sent me to a shrink. I'm not on any medication, and I never have been, I swear. The nightmares actually stopped when I moved in. Well, they started again after Seth broke his arm, but they're better now. Uh, I was having one that night.. the night.." I stutter. Clearing my throat, I let the explanation slide. If her blush is any indication, she knows what night I'm referring to. "But, I still go in whenever I feel the need to talk. That's where I am when I'm not at the gym; at therapy." I blurt out. Taking another long swig, I look over at her before continuing.

"Mostly, I talk about you. I talk about how you make me feel. How I want more with you, from you. I realize I'm thrusting this on you with no warning, but I need you to know, and I need you to know now because I need this. I need more. I need you." Staring, unblinking at me, her breath is coming out in short pants. When she doesn't say anything, I take another long swig; I continue.

"My family wants to meet you and Seth. I've told them all about you. I talk about you two all the time. My mother already loves you both, and she's upset with me that I've kept her from you this long. Would it be okay if they came to visit soon? Would you want to meet them?" Remaining silent, she licks her lips; nods her head.

"Also, that's not the first time Seth has called me that." This gets her attention, and she finally speaks.

"It's not?" I shake my head and take another swig from the bottle. This one is bigger, longer.

"I've never heard him say it. Why didn't you tell me? Does he say it a lot?" I finish off my first, and grab a second while she looks at me expectantly.

"No. He doesn't say it often. It's just been a handful of times, and it's always when he's tired. I don't even think he realizes he's saying it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I never knew how to bring it up, but I'm telling you now." She looks down at the counter, and I'm hoping she doesn't cry. I made a living off telling soldiers to 'suck it up'. I didn't have a clue how to console a crying woman.

"Jake never got to hear him say that." Her shoulders begin to shake.

Sitting the beer down, I make my way over to stand in front of her. Taking her head in my hands, I lift it so she'll look at me.

"I know, Bella, and I could never replace Jake. I know you loved him, and I would trade places with him for you in a second if I could." Silent tears flow from her as her hands cover mine; she grips them like a lifeline.

"No matter how hard this is, no matter how hard you might fight me, I'm not going anywhere. Do you understand?" She closes her eyes, pushing out more tears as she nods.

"I didn't say anything because I liked it.. I liked it when he called me dad. I was afraid if I said anything he would stop. And I didn't want him to stop, Bella. I love him like I would if he were mine. I love him as much as a real father ever could." Resting my forehead against hers, I take a deep breath, preparing to tell her what I've felt since the very first day I met her.

"I love you too, Bella. I love you because you're the most beautiful person I've ever met; inside and out. I love you because you're sweet and funny, and have an unhealthy infatuation with scary movies." This makes her laugh, and I smile. "I love you because you're a wonderful mother; the best mother. And, I love you for bringing Seth into this world; that you let me come into his life, and allowed me to know him; to love him. I've never known a love like this, Bella, and I want it. I want you. I want Seth; forever. I'm here to stay; if you'll have me." Pulling back, she's no longer laughing. I wipe her tears; looking into her blurry, brown eyes, and my stomach flips. My heart hammers an irregular rhythm against my chest; making it hard to catch my breath. "Tell me you will. Tell me you want me too."

* * *

It could be a couple weeks before another update, but I'll try to get one up next week. Thanks for reading!

I've written an outtake in EPOV for StandUp4Katalina! If you want, you can follow Sergeant Major Edward Cullen throughthe circumstances and events that earned him his Purple Heart; in turn, leading him to Bella's door. You just have to go to the website: **katalina. fandomcause. info** and donate to receive the compilation. Link is on my profile to make it easier.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

**Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

_**Bella**_

I'm pawing at his shirt; groping, gripping at the thin, black material covering his chest.

_Love._

_He loves me._

I need him closer, closer, so much closer, but he's still; anchored in place. He won't move.

_Why won't he move?_

"Bella?" Grabbing my hands, he holds them against him, his warmth. I can feel his heart; the beat, it matches mine; hard, and fast; so, so fast.

"Please, Edward." It's all I can get out, all I can utter.

_Please._

Fingers folding into fabric, I wrap a leg around his waist, as he stumbles forward. Heat from his large hands seers, seeps in as he pulls me flush.

I can feel him, all of him; long, and hard, pulsating against my center. We bear the same sweet pain. I want to ease his; make him come with my hands, my mouth, me. I want his moans. I want to hear them as he spreads me, uses me to soothe this ache.

_I want you._

_I love you._

_Say it._

"Mommy, I'm thirsty." Leg still wrapped around Edward's middle, I rest my forehead against his chest, breathing heavily.

I love my son, so much it hurts, but right now I just want to scream.

_One night! Just one night, please!_

Edward grabs my ankle, loosening my hold, and he kisses my nose. "I got it." Turning away, I see him subtly adjust himself. He awkwardly walks towards the sink, and I bite back a giggle.

I look down when I feel a pair of small hands touch my knees. Seth silently holds out his arms, and I pick him up with a soft groan, placing him in my lap. He nestles into my chest.

"Can I sleep in Edward's bed?" His sleepy little eyes look up at me.

"Why do you want to sleep in Edward's bed, Baby?" I wipe the sweaty hair from his forehead.

"Because it's safe there, and he can protect me." Looking up at Edward, my brows furrow, and he shrugs his shoulders.

"Protect you from what, Baby?" He turns his head to look at Edward before looking back up at me; wide awake, and alert.

"The tomatoes." He whispers, his eyes darting around the room.

"Why do you need protection from tomatoes?" I ask, and he scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Cause they're killer tomatoes!" He stresses, throwing his arms up in the air, and I cover my mouth; hiding my smile, trying not to laugh.

"And, where did you see these killer tomatoes?" I ask, knowing full well where he saw them. And I know it's wrong, but right now I'm more upset at the fact that it scared him. He is my child, after all. He should have thicker skin than this.

"Sam's house." I kiss the top of his head.

"If you want to sleep in Edward's bed, you have to ask him." We both look over at Edward. Smiling he holds out his arms, and Seth jumps into them. I follow them to the back bedroom.

Placing Seth on the bed, Edward pulls his shirt up and over his head. My heart jumps, pounds against my chest as watch him bend, flex. Opening a drawer, he pulls out a pair of light, grey sweatpants, throwing them on the bed. My stomach pleasantly flutters when his hands cover the clasp of his jeans.

His nimble fingers are quick. His eyes on the floor, he's oblivious to what he's doing; the effect he's having; the mess he's making. Crossing one leg over the other, I lightly squeeze as the jeans drop to the floor. He's wearing white boxer briefs; _the _white boxer briefs; the ones that I've touched; held in these two very shaky hands.

Licking my lips, I swallow, almost choking on the accumulating saliva as he bends at the waist; collecting the strewn sweats, pulling them on, one, strong, sturdy leg at a time. Crawling into the bed, he lays on his stomach, and Seth follows suit, flipping over to lie on his. I smile at how cute they are before finally finding my footing, and walking over to kiss Seth goodnight.

I don't want to leave.

"Night, Baby. I love you." He hugs my neck as I kiss his cheek, he holds on tight when I try to stand back up.

"You have to stay here, too Mom. I need you to sleep on my other side." He pulls me down, and I don't fight him. I want to be here. I cuddle in beside him; his back against my chest, and chance a look at Edward.

He's propped up on his side, smiling, and I want to kiss it off of his face. When he rests his head on the pillow, I run my fingers through his thick head of hair.

I'm not sure if this is the time to tell him; tell him that I love him, too. I want to. I want more than anything to tell him, but I also want to show him, and I can't; not yet, not with Seth in between us.

I feel him touch my wrist, run his thumb along the inside of my arm, and it feels good, too good; so good it's maddening.

Why is he doing this? Why is he touching me this way, making me want him when I can't have him?

I'm throbbing; tortured by this deep, relentless ache, and he's smirking. He knows. He knows what he's doing. He knows what he would find, feel if he could touch me. I want him to touch me. I want him to feel what he's done to me.

Lifting my hand from his head, he brings it to his lips, kissing the center of my palm.

"Goodnight, Bella."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Something hard is pressed against my lower back. Reaching behind me, I grab hold of the offensive object, wishing I had a nickel for every time I woke up on top of one of Seth's toys; only it's not a toy; not one of Seth's anyway.

Turning my head, we're eye to hooded eye. I have a firm grip when he starts to rock into my hand.

"Where's Seth?" He shakes his head, as he continues to rub himself against me.

"I don't know." His mouth covers mine. Warm and eager, he's far from gentle as he forcefully parts my lips. The deep ache is back, stronger, spiteful with unrelieved tension.

"Mmmm." I moan, spreading my legs, inviting him to lie between them. I need him there.

"Please." It's strained, mumbled against his mouth.

I sit up as he rises to his knees. Feeling bold, I run my fingers under the waistband of his underwear. Lowering it, taking him into my mouth, just enough to get a taste; get him wet. His groan is quiet, contained as I lie back down, bringing him with me; my hand never unwrapping from around him.

"God, Bella." I place him between my thinly covered folds. We move against each other; sharing sharp exhales of labored breaths. I'm close; feeling the tingle in my toes, I tighten, helping myself along. I need to come; need to get rid of this gnawing pain before I implode.

I wish I wasn't wearing these pants. If it were just a pair of underwear it would be so easy to slide them to the side, and let him slip in. I want him inside me.

"Ungh!" His mouth is on mine again, quieting what noise he can, but I can't stop; I can't be quiet when I feel it, the warmth, the pulse, the sweet-sweet release of tensity in rolling waves. My arms hug; my legs squeeze, as I ride it out; never wanting it to end. But, it does.

"Mom! Edward! Come look, it's snowing!" Seth informs, slamming the front door. Edward briefly rests his forehead against mine before rolling off of me, and onto his back. He rubs the stubble on his jaw.

"We're getting a babysitter." Edward looks over at me, laughs, and I smile as he rolls off of the bed; wondering how he's staying so calm, so collected. This has to hurt him.

"I think we need more than a babysitter. I'll call Rose, tell her she owes me." He laughs some more, while collecting a towel and washcloth. He hovers over the bed; over me, before placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Sounds good."

**.**

**.**

**.**

The soft, white, blanket of snow that covered the ground is now trampled over, and dirty brown in color. Seth had been out playing in it for most of the morning, while I tried to get ahold of Rose. When she finally answered, it only took one word.

_Tomatoes._

"Seth Baby, be good for Rose and Emmett, okay?" He nods, running around the Hale's kitchen table. I may have given him an extra fruit pack, just to make Rose's night interesting. "No leaving the house unless one of them is with you, and no scary movies." He throws his head back, rolling his eyes.

"I know! I know! I know! I know!" He bellows, bouncing with every syllable.

"Okay, give me a hug." He briefly embraces me.

"And, a kiss." He huffs. Wide-eyed, he puckers, smacking me right on the lips.

"Thank you, Baby. I love you." I kiss the top of his head after Edward ruffles his hair. I'm almost scared to leave him.

"Bella, get the hell out of here before I go out instead. I mean it. He'll be fine. You look great, fantastic; you too Edward." She winks, but it's harmless.

"Okay, I'm going, just call me if you need me, okay?" She nods, pushing me out the door, and shuts it in my face. Edward grabs my hand.

"He'll be okay, Bella. What could be worse than tomatoes?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

The drive to the restaurant is quiet, but comfortable; always comfortable. He touches me in all the ways I want him to. Holding my hand, he kisses the back before placing it in my lap.

I'm wondering if I should tell him as his fingers roam over the silk of my dress, down to my exposed knee where he lingers before running them back up, up, up the inside of my leg, bunching the hem. Flushing, my legs instinctively open.

"We're here." I groan.

"What?" He asks, acting completely oblivious.

"I can't go in there now!" It comes out louder than expected.

"Why not?" He turns toward me, smiling.

_He knows why._

"Because." I wiggle against the seat; under his stare.

"Because why, Bella? Tell me." It's soft, but demanding. I take in a shaky breath, as he moves the hair from my shoulder.

"Tell me, Bella. Say it." He runs his fingers down my neck, resting them on my collarbone.

"I want you." I whisper, straining to keep eye contact. Leaning in, his mouth hovers, and I close the distance. It's soft, sweet, not at all needy like this morning.

"Not before you buy me dinner." I burst out in laughter, smacking him against the chest, and he grabs my hand. Smirking, he briefly plays with my fingers as I calm; giggling softly.

"Okay, I'm ready." He kisses the pads of my fingers before climbing out of the car. Jogging around, he opens my door, offering his hand, and I take it with no intention of ever letting go.

We rush across the one busy street in the center of town. Still giggling, my heels scrape along the loose gravel, causing me to wobble on my feet. Edward wraps his arm around my waist to steady me, and keeps it there until we're shown to our seats. I'm thankful he doesn't sit beside me. I always felt it made for uncomfortable conversation.

"I bet I know what you're going to get." His confidence is astounding.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, what am I going to get?" I quirk my brow, smiling; unable to stop since we got here.

"Spaghetti Aglio, Olio, e Peperoncino."

"What?"

"Spaghetti Aglio, Olio, e Peperoncino." He repeats, and I start laughing. It's obvious he doesn't speak Italian.

"What is that? I don't even know what that is." He chuckles.

"Just look at the description." My eyes roam the menu, finding the mouthful I doubt I'll eat, let alone be able to say.

_Spaghetti with garlic, olive oil, and chili pepper flakes._

"Oh, wow. It's a good thing we didn't bet anything. I would have lost." Smirking, he looks triumphant, and cute. So cute, I start to rethink my seating preference. I want to kiss him, but I take a drink of water instead.

"Do me." Coughing, I cover my mouth. I clear my throat before taking another sip.

"I thought you wanted dinner first." I cough as he laughs.

"Desert sounds good, too." He winks, giving me the once over, and a deep burn sets in my cheeks, in my chest. His words, his looks, are pleasantly unnerving.

"Do me, Bella." This time it's lower, heavier. I feel it in my gut.

"I will.. later." He shakes his head, flashing half of his pearly whites, my favorite smile. My heart pounds with the beat of my wit.

"Come on, you know you want to." And, I do. I could say it too. We could do this all night long, but then it wouldn't be any different; everything would stay the same, and while I enjoy our easy banter, I want some dynamic to change. Holding my tongue, I look over the menu.

"Well, no hot dogs, so that's out." I can't help it, and he snickers.

"Deduction is often helpful." I suck in my lips, trying not to smile. Holding the menu in front of my face, I refuse to look at him. I stick out my tongue in disgust when I find it.

"Mushroom Ravioli." I close the menu, sitting up a little straighter.

"Good choice. Good choice." He nods.

"I know." Resting my chin on my hand, I crinkle my nose.

"You're cute." Reaching across the table, he looks down, intertwining our fingers.

"I know." He squeezes.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" Looking up, his pale green eyes seem darker; almost pine. I shake my head.

"No. Tell me."

"Can I take your order?" We both pull back, sitting up straight. I stumble over the Italian words; giving up, I just point to what I want. Edward tries not to laugh while ordering the easiest thing on the menu. The moment has been effectively ruined.

I play with the straw wrapper, opening and then closing my mouth, trying to find the right words to say.

"When are your parents planning on coming? Will they be here for Christmas?" He clears his throat.

"Would you mind if they spent Christmas with us?" I shake my head.

"No, of course not. I- I'd like that. Seth would like it. Would they mind if Charlie, and Billy are there?" It's his turn to shake his head.

"No. They would love it. They're big on family." He smiles, seemingly embarrassed.

"That's nice. What about your sister, and Jasper? Will they be coming?" As soon as it's out of my mouth, I realize my mistake. He smirks, but doesn't call me out on my snooping.

"Probably not, Alice is pregnant. I don't think she's supposed to be traveling." I nod, remembering those days.

"I have a lot of baby clothes she could have if she wants; if it's a boy." He reaches for me again, but stops as the waitress arrives with our food.

We eat quietly, at first; the only sounds coming from the clink of a fork, or an occasional slurp. I'm working up the nerve to tell him when he breaks the silence first.

"Did you go to college for anything?" I shake my head.

"Did you want to?" He asks, and I put down my fork, thinking about it.

"Not really. I married pretty young, and when I found out I was having Seth I wanted to be with him as much as possible. The Marine benefits, and Jake's life insurance kept us comfortable for awhile, but it's starting to run out. That's why I put an ad in the paper." He nods.

"I'm glad you did." He smiles, looking down.

"Me too."

I few quiet minutes pass before I speak.

"Did you go to college while you were in the Marines?" He nods, swallowing.

"Mechanics. I can fix anything." He huffs a laugh, taking a drink of his water.

I should have guessed.

"Do you have any siblings?" Taking a big bite, I shake my head.

"Can I?.. Can I ask about your mother? It's just.. I seem to have met everyone else, and you never talk about her." I wipe my mouth. It's true I never talk about my mother, but I'm not against it.

"She died in a car accident when I was seventeen." I feel his hand in my hand.

"I'm sorry." I give it a squeeze.

"She left my dad right after I was born, and moved to Phoenix. That's where I grew up. I didn't move back until I turned sixteen. She started seeing this Minor league baseball player, Phil, and wanted to travel with him, so I moved in with my dad." I shrug. "They were both killed in a head on collision while driving down to Jacksonville."

"I'm sorry I brought it up." He pulls away, but I tighten my grip. I shake my head.

"No, don't be. I want you to know these things. I want you to know everything."

_Because I love you._

_Just say it._

Teasing his wrist, I run my foot up the inside of his leg. His throat bobs as he swallows.

I don't say it.

"Let's get out of here."

* * *

I'm gonna play it safe, and say update in a couple weeks, but you see how that worked out.. ;) Thanks for reading!

I've written an outtake in EPOV for StandUp4Katalina! If you want, you can follow Sergeant Major Edward Cullen throughthe circumstances and events that earned him his Purple Heart; in turn, leading him to Bella's door. You just have to go to the website: **katalina. fandomcause. info** and donate to receive the compilation. Link is on my profile to make it easier.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

**Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

**_Bella_**

Sometimes I wonder if the universe is against me, against all of us; especially in our most desperate time of need.

"Where the hell is she?" I lash out, unable to contain myself.

All evening we couldn't get two words in without her interrupting, now she's nowhere in sight.

"In a hurry?" Edward smirks, dusting feather-light touches across the back of my knee, enjoying himself as he watches me squirm.

"Me? No. I was just under the impression that you wanted to get out of here, spend some time alone in a quiet house with no interruptions. But, I guess I was wrong." Sighing, I lean back. "Which means, Seth can come back home tonight.. like he wanted to." I give him a pointed look, hoping he understands that I can receive the dreaded phone call at any time, and his eyes widen.

He rises from the table.

"Where are you going?"

"To find our waitress."

I smile as he walks away, downing the rest of my Pinot Grigio, and I watch him. The growing ends of his hair shine in the glare of a candle's glow. His deep grey jacket, and dark wash jeans almost look black in the dim lighting.

Swaying to the smooth strumming of strings, I relish in the narrow cut of his hips, the way he carries himself, the swagger no one can ignore.

And, this is not just the wine talking.

"Let's go." I open my eyes, not remembering ever closing them. He's holding out his hand, and I take it.

"Did you find her?" Nodding, he helps me stand, placing his hand on the small of my back.

"Well, don't we have to pay?"He lightly pushes me in the direction he wants me to go, leading me out into the cool night, and I'm suddenly sobered.

"I did. It's taken care of." He pulls me, tripping and shuffling, across the broken bits of the neglected, city street as we go.

When we reach the car, the wind picks up; lifting the loose hem of my dress, and I shiver. Edward removes his jacket, placing it over my shoulders, and I can smell him.

The hardy scent of timber surrounds me, all rustic, and heavy. My senses peak with the clean, crisp chill in the air, and I feel dizzy. I'm drunk again; drunk on him, his smell, what I know is going to happen.

I need to tell him.

"You smell good." I say instead, and he chuckles, leaning in, sniffing the underside of my jaw.

"_You_ smell good." Pressing me into the car, his nose travels down, tickling skin.

"Feel good." Lips at the hollow of my neck, he mumbles.

"Taste good." I moan, feeling his tongue, warm and wet.

It leaves me just the same.

"Take me home." I whisper, and he concedes.

Leading me around the car, he holds my hand, he opens the door, helps me in.

Heart beating, lungs breathing, chest heaving, I watch as he walks to the other side, climbs in, and hurriedly starts the car.

Leaning over, he steals a chaste kiss, and we're off.

One hand on the wheel, the other on me, my knee, my thigh, he teases.

He's a tease, running his fingers up so far.

I obediently spread for him; flustered, embarrassed when he runs them back down.

"Do you want me to touch you, Bella?" His fingers skim, tickling my inner thigh, up, up, up; the tips ghosting the edge of my panties.

"Yes." I breathe, spreading further. One knee digs into the side of the center console; the other, the handle of the passenger side door. But, I don't care.

He slips under the sheer fabric, feeling me, really feeling me for the first time.

"God, Bella." He huffs, swerving the wheel, and his hand is gone.

My heart, already beating erratically, is unaffected by the jolt.

"Shit, sorry." Closing my legs, I shake my head.

"It's okay." I reach over, stroking the nape of his neck.

"It's fine." I comfort, and he puts his hand back on my knee, making small circles with his thumb.

The rest of the ride is quiet.

My heart slows, skipping every once and again with thoughts of his hands, how they were just on me, how I want them back, how the moment may be over for him.

Maybe I should tell him now.

I don't know.

I can't read him.

He's hasn't tried anything, hasn't teased me since almost running us off the road.

When we pull into the crunching, gravel drive, I giggle.

"What?" He puts the car in park, resting his head against the seat, he turns it toward me.

"Just thinking about our near death experience." He groans.

"Don't remind me."

I scoot closer, pulling his hands from his face.

"You don't want to remember?"

He barks a laugh.

"No. Do you?"

I nod.

"It's the first time… The first time you really touched me." His amusement fades.

"I still want you to.. touch me." All I hear is his breathing, fast, and loud.

I wait for him to make a move, I wait for my mouth to say what my heart screams, but it never comes, so I climb out of the car.

He follows behind me, warming the small of my back as we take the stairs, standing so close, as I unlock the door.

Turning the knob, I step into the open hallway, only to be pulled back, pushed against the closed door.

His heat pins, as he presses into me, hands traveling the length of my sides, lifting the loose hem of my dress.

It's impossible to breath, heaving against his hard chest, as he reaches the edge my panties, pulling them to the side.

"Mmm" Both me and my heart hum for him, as his wandering finger tests me; whimpering when he pulls away, slowly bringing it to his mouth. I watch as he sucks it clean.

Taking my hand, leading me to the back bedroom, his room, the first place I saw him naked.

My heart flutters knowing what's underneath his blue button up, and dark wash jeans.

I shimmy out of his dark grey jacket, hanging it on the bottom bed post, as he brushes my hair to the side.

His whiskers tickle, as he lowers the zipper of my dress, letting it fall.

"You're so beautiful, Bella." Hands grazing the sides of my breasts, he kisses my bare shoulder.

"So beautiful." His heated whispers warm my skin.

Turning, I reach for his shirt, unbuttoning the buttons one by one. My hands slide under the tight knit, lowering it from his muscled shoulders.

I trace the black eagle, globe, and anchor, placing my mouth on the inked skin, barely refraining from biting.

"God, Bella. Do you know how long I've wanted you? How long I've wanted your mouth on me?" Looking up into his eyes, I don't answer, knowing how long I've wanted him.

Ever since that first day.

Standing on my tip toes, I run a hand through the back of his hair, bringing his mouth to mine; tasting him for the first time while naked, exposed.

It's different, better.

I suck in a short, sharp breath, as my rigid nipples graze the smooth, bare skin of his chest, so solid, next to my, so soft.

"So good. You feel so good." He sounds pained, lowering me onto the down comforter. Stripping his shirt from his restrained forearms, he hovers, fingers skimming the length of my stomach.

He reaches the waist of my panties, his eyes meet mine; the dark green questioning, begging, and I nod, lifting my hips; telling him it's okay, I want him to.

Hooking all four fingers under each side, he drags them down, over hips, thighs, bended knees; all the way, over my feet, and off, throwing them to the side.

He spreads me, eyes browsing from my head to my toes, and back up; stopping between my open legs.

No words, only blank stares, and I feel more naked than naked; trying to close my legs, but he stops me.

"No, I want to see you." Loosening, my legs fall open.

His mouth touches the inside of my knee, never leaving the skin, he kisses, licks up my inner thigh.

My brain buzzes, vision blurs, dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.

I cry out, provoked, as his hot mouth covers, consumes me.

Fingers tangling in long strands of his hair, I pull him closer, wanting more, needing more.

He gives me more; more lips, more tongue, more pressure, more love.

When he lifts his head, my hips follow, rubbing his already wet chin; the light scruff darkened with my body's response to his mouth.

He chuckles, kissing my mound, pushing my hips back down, sliding two fingers deep inside.

"Oh, God!" Mouth agape, he watches; watches his hand, knuckle deep.

Hovering, he lowers himself, taking my nipple.

"Ungh!" My chest burns with his breath, heaves to his rhythm.

"Beautiful." He pulls away, knowing, watching as I come undone, fall apart under the skilled stroke of his touch. His hands supporting, bracing me, helping me ride it out; the intense ripple of sensory, and solace.

I can barely open my eyes, feeling him wrap his capable arm around me, hoisting me up further onto the bed.

I feel him at my entrance, barely filling me before he's gone.

"What's wrong?" I rise up, balancing on one shaky elbow, reaching out for him.

"Do you have a condom?" I shake my head, biting the inside of my cheek.

"We don't need one." His brow furrows, I smooth it with my thumb, pulling him back down on top of me.

"I started birth control a couple of months ago." Nestling between my spread legs, he cradles the blush of my cheek, softly kissing my lips.

"I want to feel you, Edward. All of you."

_I love you._

Taking him in my hand, I stroke lightly, leading him back to me.

He enters slowly.

"Fuck." Closing his eyes, he lowers his forehead to mine.

"I've wanted you since the first day I saw you, Bella." He thrusts, filling me fully, and I cry out; mostly in pleasure, a little in pain, but it's sweet, welcome, wanted.

"So good." Taking my mouth, he swirls his hips before pulling back out, thrusting back in, pausing for my benefit.

"Ungh!" He swallows my happy cries, comforts with his lips, and tongue, as he pulls out, then pounds into me.

His movement, the sound he makes is lustful, feral, all dominating male. It resonates in my stomach; the grunts, and groans, and fucks, skin slapping against wet skin.

He's taking me, using me to soothe his ache, just like I want him to. Tightening, I coax him, wanting him to come.

More than anything, I want him to come.

I want to see it.

I want him sated, spent, and spilt inside of me.

More than anything.

"I have to stop, or I'm gonna come." He pushes all the way in, swirling his hips, now coaxing me, my release.

"I want you to. I want to see it." He kisses my mouth, lifting my already wide spread legs, pressing harder. Digging into the sweaty skin of his back, I rock against him, immersed in his heat of lips, and breath.

I feel cold tingle in my toes.

Lifting to my elbows, I spread wider, watching the brute pump of his hips. Kissing his black ink, I run my teeth over the bottom of the anchor, pushing back. The cold tingle runs up my inner thighs to where they meet his, joined with the maddening animality of this man.

This man, his ardor.

He strains so steadily, shining with a light sheen of sweat, loving me in my mind, my heart, between my legs. It's him, the very thought of him that pushes me over.

"Oh, God! Ungh!" I cry as waves, and waves, of deep heat pulse, placate; falling back, pulling him with me, reveling in him, the weight of him.

My hips lift, encouraging him, wanting to see, make him feel as good as he makes me feel.

He moves slowly, savoring. Open lips on lips, his eyes hold mine, charged with desire, a wild need; he feeds me his soft moans.

"So good." Closing his lips around mine, he parts them with his tongue. Tasting, he groans, thrusting roughly, over, and over, and over until he stills, pulsing in, and all around me with a low, thick grunt.

Pulling him close, I hold quivering muscle, kiss sweaty skin, love him all over; unable to stop the sob that relieves the tightening of my aching chest. He pulls back, worried, which only makes me cry harder.

"Bella, Baby. Did I hurt you?" I shake my head as I cover my face, crying ugly tears I don't want him to see.

"Baby, please! Tell me what's wrong." Pulling my hands away, he holds my arms under his arms; wiping the wetness from my sore cheeks.

"N-nothing i-is w-wrong." Taking in a deep breath, I blow it out, attempting to steady my voice.

"I love you." I whisper, my mouth curling, smiling through a fresh rush of hot tears.

He kisses them away.

"I love _you_."

* * *

How many of you thought Seth was going to call? ; ) Update next week or two. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

******Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

_**Bella**_

I can hear them screaming; the heavy, circling patter of their little feet against Rose's brand new, hardwood floor, and I smile, thinking about the scuff marks they must be making.

Leaning back against thick layers of wool, and durable Carhartt denim, I listen, hesitant to knock on the door.

I'm not quite ready to relieve her of the terrible two, but I'm hungry; famished from all the calories we must have burned last night.

_Twice last night._

_Once this morning._

Heating with a flush, my stomach tightens; flutters deep, with recollection; tactile musings.

His hands, the tips of his fingers are burned, branded into the skin; every inch remembers, yearns; unyielding.

"Are we just going to stand here all day?" He muses, mumbling into the back of my hair, kiss, kiss, kissing the crown.

"Mmm.. thinking about it." My eyes flutter-close, painfully rolling into the back of my pampered head. He's too much, it's too much; that shoulder raising, spine tingling tickle.

"It does sound like he's having a good time."

The cool wind hits as he lifts, and moves shielding tresses, kissing the side of my neck, and I shiver even though his breath warms me; inside and out.

"Maybe if we just snea-"

The swift swing of the door cuts him off, and we're knocked back by a hug, and ear piercing squeals.

"You're here!" Seth strains; trying to wrap his little arms around the both of us, while Sam jumps in place.

"We want pancakes, Miss Bella! Can we get pancakes, and sausage, and eggs, and.."

Encouraged, Seth joins in, jumping, yammering.

"And hash browns, and bacon, and hot chocolate! We want hot chocolate, right Sam?"

Sam nods, "right!"

Amused, I smile, and Edward chuckles. I can feel it; the deep, rumbling vibration against my back, and I naturally snuggle closer.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you two try and fit all that in there. I think your eyes are bigger than your bellies." I poke, and they recoil, giving me a look.

"What?" They ask in unison, and I take this opportunity to try and confuse them further.

"It's an idiom."

"A _what_?" The scrunching of their little noses makes me laugh.

"It means you want more than you can actually eat." I tell them, and Sam shrugs, lifting his arms, questioning in true Emmett fashion.

"Why didn't you just say that then?"

He really is his father's son.

"Just so you'd ask me that, Sam." I tousle his hair, and he shies away. "Where's your mom?" I ask, following them into the warm, open foyer; ignoring the freshly painted, chocolate-colored walls, looking for tread marks, sighing silently when I don't see any.

_Figures._

_Beautiful, blonde, and leggy with a brand new paint job, and unscuffable floors._

"Bella! Edward! How was your night, huh?" She rounds the corner, grinning in all her red sweater glory, leaning against the pristine, white-wash trim.

"Judging by the pink in your cheeks, and the condition of that hair, it was pretty good, no?" My eyes widen, as the boys stand between us, flicking the ends of their coats, trying in vain to pull them off the tiered rack.

"Yeah, it was pretty good." I give her a pointed look, mouthing for her to shut the hell up before grabbing each coat and handing them to the boys.

"How was your night?" I change the subject, remembering the extra fruit snacks I fed Seth right before dropping him off.

"Interesting.." She tousles Sam's hair, kneeling, helping him zip his puffy coat.

"The whole family, and a visiting neighbor, now knows what brand of briefs Edward wears." Snorting, she stands, crossing her arms, leaning back against the door frame, and I flush, feeling Edward stiffen.

"Which neighbor?" I ask, hoping, praying, knowing full well which neighbor by the smug look on her face.

"Maggie Brandon."

Hanging my head, I drop to my knees, fiddling with Seth's stuck zipper. I ignore the tickle boring through the back of my head.

"Who's Maggie Brandon? Do I know her?" Edward asks, bending down to help me, kissing the side of my head once the zipper's free.

"Maggie Brandon is one of 'The Moms for Edward's Sweet Ass.'" Rose air quotes.

"Rose." Groaning, I stand, and she shrugs, picking at her blood-red nails.

"What? I didn't name it."

"Language, Rose, language." I scold, and she scoffs, rolling her ice- blue eyes.

"Please, Bella, like they haven't heard worse."

Shaking my head, I place Seth's black beanie on top of his head, smiling at how adorably grown he looks.

"Okay, so you guys have fun, but not _too_ much fun; nothing like the _fun_ you had last night, ya hear? There will be kids present." Rose winks, shooing us towards the door, and the boys run out, falling, rolling around in the snow.

I ignore her, quickly making the cold trek to the running car, pulling Edward behind me. We call for the boys to come on, threatening them with food, and that's all it takes.

At the mention of pancakes, and breakfast meat, they're up and shaking off the flurries, running across the white lawn, and jumping into the car, wetting down the upholstery.

I smile, waving to the crazy, blonde bitch standing in the doorway as we pull out onto the road.

"Mom, guess what." Turning, I place my hand on Edward's arm, and then pull back, unsure of the intimacy.

But, then I remember how he kissed me, how we've been touching this whole time, so I scoot closer to the middle, resting my arm against his. "What?"

"Sam's Mom works for the tooth fairy, can you believe it?" He snickers, and I straighten, furrowing my brow, scared to ask.

But, I do; of course I do. "Really, how do you know that?"

"Sam lost a tooth, and we caught her leaving money under the pillow. She told us that the tooth fairy is busy, so she helps her out sometimes." Sam points, tonguing the gap in between his teeth, which causes Seth to giggle, in turn causing Sam to giggle, and the rest of the ride consists of an obnoxious giggle fest.

**.**

**.**

**.**

We've been in the restaurant for ten minutes.

Ten minutes, and they've already lost all their crayons, spilled their first round of hot chocolate, broken a cup, and collected every loose condiment packet in the joint, categorizing them into colors, stacking them in triangular piles.

Imagine my embarrassment when a poor, little, old lady approached, propped up on a wobbly cane. She had to shuffle all the way across the floor just to ask for a grape jelly.

And we haven't even ordered yet.

"Stop that!" I whisper yell, grabbing the creamer out of Seth's hands.

"What is wrong with you, Child?"

Licking his lips, he hums in approval.

"It's good!"

Biting back an encouraging laugh, I shake my head.

"You're not right."

He just snickers, blowing into the dip of a spoon, and sticking it on the end of his nose.

"Hey Sam-bo-rambo, do I have something on my face?" He turns towards his uncharacteristically, quiet friend, and Sam knocks it off with a loud clank on the coated, plastic table.

That's more like it.

"Nope."

I feel Edward chuckle in the booth beside me, and I look over, hiding my smile, resisting the urge to join in.

They don't need the encouragement.

"Hey Sam, can you do this?"

I watch in horror, as Seth sticks the end of his straw up his nose, blowing bubbles into his hot chocolate.

"Ewww, now you've got hot booger chocolate!" Sam cackles, making Seth laugh, causing him to suck some of that hot booger chocolate up his nose.

Coughing and sputtering, he continues to laugh, letting the sticky, brown liquid run down his chin.

I hold my head in my hands, wondering where I went wrong before wetting a napkin, and wiping his chocolaty face.

"Hey Mom, are you in that club?" Seth's asks, pouting his lips, letting me wipe away all the sticky.

Confused by the question, I let Edward order for us while I try and figure out what Seth's talking about.

"What club, Baby?" I ask, and he huffs.

"The one with the _bad word_." Shielding his mouth from the listening crowd, he whispers, and now I'm even more confused.

"What club with the bad word, Seth? I don't know what you're talking about."

Exasperated, he huffs again, rolling his eyes, quickly lulling his head.

I should've realized that I was bringing this on myself.

"The sweet ass club!" He practically announces it to the whole restaurant, and I flush, feeling the warm wrap of Edward's arm across my shoulders.

He chuckles. "Yeah Bella, are you in the club?"

His hot breath blows against my hair, and I look over; eyes rising, focusing on the smile pulling at his currently unkissable lips.

He knows I'm in the club.

He knows I'm the leader, the founder, his number one fan; you can see it in his eyes, his mouth, the fluent movement of his Adam 's apple as it bobs with a sure swallow.

He knows, and as I pull my eyes away from his all knowing, beautiful face, I look at my son's, making a mental note to kill Rosalie Hale.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Did you guys go on a date?"

Seth casually asks, sitting at the kitchen island, coloring in a dog with Illuminated Emerald.

I catch Edward's gaze, giving him a look out of the corner of my eye. "What makes you think that, Baby?"

I'm holding my breath, as he barely looks up, searching, pushing and prodding around his box of crayons, pulling out Outrageous Orange.

"Sam's Mom."

I roll my eyes.

"She said she was hoping you would get some on your date, then she said that bad word."

_Ass_.

Roughly rubbing my face, I sigh. "Yeah well, sometimes Sam's Mom says things that she shouldn't, especially around little ears."

"Hey, my ears aren't little!" He shouts, creasing his brow, puckering his thick lips; in desperate need of some sleep.

"Okayyy… Your ears aren't little, they're huge, the biggest ears I've ever seen!" I tease, pulling at the lobes, and he swats me away, trying not to smile, but he does.

Throwing #67 back into its container, he pulls out Twilight Lavender, filling in the tip of the colorful dog's tail.

"What do you do on a date? Do you go to dinner?"

Absently flipping to the next page, he starts on the cat.

"Yes, you go to dinner."

I answer simply, hoping that's as far as it goes, but of course it's not; it never is.

"Did _you_ go to dinner?"

He asks pointedly as Edward approaches, shoving an encouraging hand in my back pocket.

"Yes."

It's getting harder and harder, not to touch each other.

"What about kissing, do you kiss after dinner?"

Licking my dry lips, I lean into Edward's touch.

"You can, yes."

"Well, did _you_ kiss after dinner?"

Sneaky, little brat.

"Y-es."

Edward's soft squeeze causes me to stutter.

"Then, it was a date, right?"

My smart, little man deducts, tossing the Twilight Lavender aside in exchange for Shocking Pink.

Not quite ready, I almost change the subject by questioning his color choices.

But, I don't.

Clearing my closing throat, I suck it up.

"Yes, Edward and I went on a date.. Are uh, you okay with that?" I ask, running my nervous fingers through his hair while he continues to color.

"Sure, can I go next time?"

This time he looks up, waiting for our combined reply.

"Yeah, Bud."

"Sure, Baby, yeah."

We answer at the same time, sharing the same sure nod, relieved.

"So, are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend; do you hold hands, and kiss, and go to the bathroom together?" Clasping his hands, he flutters his long, black lashes, and we laugh, amused by his take on dating.

_Go to the bathroom together?_

I guess in a way he has it right, but still.

"Uh.."

_Girlfriend?_

_Boyfriend?_

The words feel wrong rolling around in my head, feeling too old to use the terms.

_Special friend?_

_Significant other?_

_Most amazing lover, maybe?_

But, I can't use any of those, not with this inquisitive five year old.

"Uh yeah, that was a good description, we're boyfriend and girlfriend." I tell him simply, as Edward shows him; draping his heavy arm over my shoulders, placing a lingering kiss on my cheek.

"Ewwww, gross!"

Ignoring Seth's protest, Edward grabs my chin; turning my head, he plants a long one on my lips, making me want him even more than I already always do.

Pulling away, I look up into his darkened green eyes, and I know he's thinking the same.

"Okay, time for bed."

**.**

**.**

**.**

After an hour's worth of struggle, we finally have Seth in his pajamas, his teeth brushed, his nightlight securely plugged in, and a glass of water on his bedside dresser, just in case.

"Did you lock the door?" Straddling Edward's lap, I mumble against his inked shoulder, lightly biting the blackened skin.

He hisses, "yes."

Flipping us over, he settles between my spread legs, and I can feel him through his loose fitting sweats, my thin barrier of my red cotton panties.

"I like these." Flicking the string on my brand new, bikini bottoms, he lightly stings the skin.

"Ouch." I fake pout, and he sucks my protruding lip.

"I'm sorry, Baby." He coos, running a soothing thumb under the string.

"Better?" His spearmint whisper blows across my face, causing my eyes to flutter.

Swallowing, I shake my head, and he smiles, kisses my curved lips.

My hands tangle in his growing hair, following him down, over my neck, and stomach.

His lithe fingers hook, slowly pulling my panties down, down, throwing them off to the side.

"Mmmm." I hum, feeling his lips cover my hip, his tongue tease the bone.

"Better?" His murmur vibrates, tickling my core.

I giggle.

"Hm-mm. More."

He kisses more.

"Show me, Baby. Show me where you want me."

Sitting up, I flip us back over, straddling his narrow hips. "I just want you." I tell his deep green eyes, bending, taking his open mouth in mine. I nip, licking his bottom lip before brushing his tongue with mine.

We moan as our lips kiss, and my hands explore, running over rigid terrains of skin over muscle.

I love his stomach.

I love his solid body.

I love everything.

"I love you." Breathing against his swollen mouth, I dip down into the crook of his neck, licking my way up to his pointed Adam's apple. It bobs with his swallow, rubbing against my lips.

"I love _you_, Baby."

He's breathless, fingers skimming the length of my sides, sliding, tangling into my hair.

I love his hands.

"Mmm, that feels good." I murmur, scooting down, kissing, licking along the way to the band of his grey sweats.

He looks so good in grey; in sweats.

Dipping my fingers under the bunched elastic, I pull them down, and he flops out; long, hard, and ready for me, my mouth; it covers the swollen head, swirling salted pre-cum.

He tastes so good.

I take him deep, bobbing until he groans, flavoring the back of my throat.

"Fuck, c'mere." Letting him go with a wet pop, I crawl back up, kissing along prickled skin, placing him at my aching entrance.

He covers my mouth, quieting a cry, as he pushes up into my body.

"Mmm, yeah."

Steadily pumping in and out, he sits up, holding me close.

"You feel so good, Baby, so good." Kneading my backside, he pulls me down, pushing up even deeper.

"Oh, fuck!" Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I ride his lap, meeting him thrust for hard thrust; hissing as my bare breasts rub against his hard pecs.

"God, you are so sexy, Bella; so sexy." He praises, as we break into a light sweat, slipping and sliding, skin slapping against wet skin; he kisses my collarbone, licks it up from the dip of my neck.

"Oh God, Edward, fu-ungh!" I moan out, trembling with a warming tingle, coming hard as he hammers up into me, growling out his own guttural release.

Holding me tight he kisses, everywhere he kisses; laying me down, breathlessly cuddling up behind me.

His lips hum, warming my shoulder blade.

"Do you really think Seth's okay with it, with us?"

Turning to face him, I shrug, combing his thickening beard.

I love the cold, scratchy tingle it leaves against my chin.

"I think so." Kissing his reddened lips, I pull myself flush, cuddling between the pillow and his neck, breathing in his woodsy scent.

My heart, my stomach flutters.

"Good cause it was really hard not to touch you today. I want to touch you all the time." He confesses, smoothing out the back of my hair, sending shivers down my exposed spine.

"Then touch me; touch me all the time." Kissing up his lightly-cologned skin, I take his hand, placing it on my breast.

I gasp as his rough thumb swipes across the nipple; his chuckle vibrates my lips.

"I can do that, no problem."

Looking up into green eyes, I smile, knowing he means it.

"Good."

We're quiet for awhile; cuddling, and kissing, touching each other's naked skin, until he clears his throat.

"Uh, my parents called today, asking about Christmas." Playing with the ends of my hair, he shies.

I lick my lips, clearing my throat. "Did you ask them? Do they want to come here?"

He shakes his head. "I didn't ask them yet, but they will. I just wanted to make sure it was okay, ya know, we never really talked about it anymore after dinner." Sighing, he finally looks me in the eye. "Do you want them to come?"

Cradling his worried head, I kiss his tightly closed lips. "Yes, I definitely want them to come."

Smirking, he kisses me hard, hopping to his knees, and I yip as he pulls me underneath him, settling back between my spread legs.

"Okay well, since that's settled, I wanna hear all about this club of mine. Can just anybody join?"

* * *

**The Moms For Edward's Sweet Ass Club** is now accepting members. **Fee:** A review ;) Next update will probably take just as long.. but, hopefully not! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

******Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

******Thank you to everyone who voted for ****By Your Leave** in **TLS Fic of The Week Poll**! It means so, so much to me to be in the **Fab 5**! Thank you Nic for rec-ing! Thank you **LayAtHomeMom** for pimping! You guys are the best! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all! Oh, and if you haven't checked out **In Your Room **by none other than my personal pimp **LayAtHomeMom, **then you're missing out on some genuine hilarity! She has this amazing ability to make me LOL!

* * *

_**Bella**_

"Which one is she?"

Arm draped over my shoulder, Edward nuzzles, whispering in my ear.

I tightly hold on to him, under his open jacket, possessively rubbing hard muscle under soft flannel. Every other mom has noticed how good he looks in the new black on gray plaid; especially Maggie Brandon.

Looking up, I lightly kiss his furry jaw, whispering back. "Two o'clock, red hair; the one giving us the stink-eye."

Quietly chuckling against my hair, he kisses, mumbling against it. "You have nothing to worry about. I prefer beautiful brunettes."

Fighting a smile, I sigh, refusing to look at him. "So, I _should _be worried about Charlotte Peters?"

I see him shake his head out of the corner of my eye. "No."

"Tia Benjamin?"

Lips against my temple, I feel him shake again. "No."

"Bree Tanner?"

Huffing, he grabs my chin, tilting it up, making me look. "Only a beautiful brunette named Bella who has a crazy kid named Seth."

I open my mouth to argue that there could be plenty of Bellas with kids named Seth, but he beats me to it, clamping my lips shut.

"I'm looking right at her."

His fingers linger, brushing along my bottom lip. "You know that, right?"

Bright, bottle-green softens, questions, sees right through me.

He could have anyone he wanted, and I know it, he knows it, these moms know it, everybody knows it.

_Why me?_

I nod. "Yeah."

The disrupting bell rings, and I look away as the children file out, scattering, running up to waiting mothers, and lined up, yellow buses; all but mine.

"Where's Seth?" Edward questions, his worry obvious as he drops his arm from around my shoulders, needlessly standing on his toes.

"I don't know, but last time I found him out back playing with a frog; come on." Grabbing his hand, I lead him through the front, glass doors and a slew of screaming kids.

The empty hallway echoes our hasty footsteps, as we make our way toward the back exit, and I hear him as we pass a classroom.

Backing up, I stand us inside the doorway, leaning against the frame, and we listen.

"Now Seth, please give Alexa her hat back." His teacher Mrs. Uley sweetly orders, and I hear him huff; can just see him rolling his annoyed, brown eyes, dramatically handing it over.

"And what do you say, Seth?"

"Sorry, Alexa." He mumbles, not sounding sorry at all, and I smile up at Edward; finding myself surprisingly excited, anxious to meet this little girl whose stolen my little man's heart. I had expected to be more broken up over his first crush.

Slightly bouncing, I bite my bottom lip, running a hand down the edge of Edward's open jacket; just wanting to touch him, some part of him. He seems excited too, as he looks down, smiling at the ground.

His head snaps up with the scraping sound of metal based chairs, and our wide eyes meet. We stare with like smirks, as they shuffle around, collecting all of their stuff.

I only break the gaze when I see a tiny, towheaded form out of the corner of my eye.

She's small, blonde, and ice-blue-eyed; the prettiest little thing I've ever seen as she shyly smiles at my son's retreating form.

I knew it.

Such a heartbreaker, this one.

"Bye, Seth." The cutie coos, and Seth's surprise in seeing us fades, turning into a scowl.

He grumbles a mumbled, _"Bye, A-lex-a."_, stomping past, not waiting once he's out in the hall, and we quickly follow; clasping hands, exchanging amused grins, trying not to laugh.

We stay a safe distance the whole walk home, watching closely as he kicks idle rocks, irritably stirring up loose dirt.

His anger never really settles, and I'm somewhat worried when Edward gives my hand a light squeeze.

"I'm sure he's fine; just embarrassed, that's all."

Looking up, I find him smiling down, and I nod, breathing a little easier.

We're silent the rest of the way.

Silent as we take the steps up, and into the house.

Silent as Seth pulls a stool over to the counter, climbs up and grabs the full box of fruit snacks from the cupboard, grunting as he jumps down.

Putting the stool back in its place, he stomps up the steps, and I jump with the loud slam of his door.

I stand still, staring in the direction of the stairs, wondering if I should go check on him, wondering if maybe I should send Edward instead, but then I think better of it.

If I know my son, he won't want to talk about it, not now, not yet, so I'll wait. I'll wait for him to come to me.

Pushing off the kitchen island, I walk over to the oven, pulling out a couple of pans, turning it on.

Those fruit snacks are going to ruin Seth's appetite, but he still needs to eat, and I need a distraction.

I can't stop thinking about this little girl, what this means.

He's growing up so fast.

Too fast.

"So.." Edward draws, coming up behind me, wrapping strong arms around my waist.

I rest my head back, turning, nuzzling into the rough of his beard, breathing him in.

_God, he smells good._

"Alexa, huh?.. Good name." Edward awkwardly starts, and I turn in his steady arms, wrapping mine around his neck.

"She was so cute, wasn't she?" I gush, playing with the back of his soft hair, grinning from ear to ear.

He chuckles, kissing exposed teeth.

I can't stop, can't stop smiling.

"Very cute." He agrees, running his nose along my jaw, tightening his grip.

"You're cute." He breathes, peppering kisses along my stretched neck.

And, I'm about to lead him to the back room to show him how cute I think he is when we're predictably interrupted.

"Are we still getting a tree, or what?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Get-A-Long Farm**

**_Edward_**

Stepping out of the car, I'm hit with a distant, joyful sound, and the strong scent of sappy pine.

It's been years since I've had a Christmas tree, and judging by the skip in my step, it's safe to say I'm just as, if not more, excited about this than Seth.

Earlier happenings of the day forgotten, he grabs each of our hands, pulling, tugging, leading us down the snow covered path, and through the maze of prickly green, and twinkling white.

Passing the first few rows, Jingle Bells fades into Winter Wonderland as he drops our hands, dodging around, ducking below the obstacles of the crowd.

He's on a mission.

"Keep up, you guys. Dr. Banner says the best are in the back. He keeps them hidden for us every year, doesn't he Mom?"

Smiling, Bella nods, and I grab her gloved hand, smiling back; not surprised in the least.

Dr. Banner was a jack of all trades. If he wasn't fixing your head, or pressing you some homemade apple cider, then he was busy growing your Christmas tree.

"I was wondering when you three were gonna show up." Mrs. Banner greets with a smile as the doc leads Seth back to '_the best of the best'_. "We've been guarding them all night."

She hands us both a steaming cup of that homemade apple cider, and I slowly sip, wrapping an arm around Bella, listening to the two of them giggle over Seth's new crush as Winter Wonderland fades into White Christmas.

"Don't worry about it, Bella, his reaction was completely normal. Ben used to get so bent out of shape when Bradley would ask him about girls. They eventually grow out of it, I'm sure." Mrs. Banner offers Bella a kind smile, but this one doesn't reach her eyes, and I realize I never knew Dr. Banner's first name until she just said it.

It's funny what you miss when you're not paying attention.

"Mom! Edward! Come on, this way!" Peeking out from behind a small pine, Seth yells, motioning for us to follow, and we part ways with Mrs. Banner; wrapped, and walking in sync.

We find them standing in the middle of the aisle, staring up at the tallest tree in the lot.

"I want this one." Seth points; stepping up to the tree, he gets on his hands and knees to crawl under, but I grab him up, and throw him over my shoulder.

Kicking, and laughing he swears he can carry it, so I put him down, and sip another hot apple cider, while he grunts, and grumbles, pulling on the thick trunk.

When he finally gives in, Dr. Banner and I hoist it up, carry it through the thinning crowd, and tie it on to the roof of the car.

It's a struggle, but I get it down, and into the house, setting it in the stand, wrapping it with strands of festive, multi-colored lights.

Seth fills the bottom branches with crafts he's made at school, while Bella picks and chooses, thinning out the clutter, hanging them where Seth can't reach, and I stand on my toes, placing the shining, yellow star on the pointed top.

By the time we turn out the lights to get the full effect of the finished tree, Seth is passed out, and snoring on the floor.

I pick him up to take him to bed, while Bella cleans up, putting all the boxes back in the closet. And when I come back down she's sitting on the couch waiting for me.

Plopping down on the opposite end, I lean over and grab her legs, making her squeal as I swiftly turn her, placing them on my lap.

Pulling off her boots, I kiss her sock covered toes, and she cringes.

"Don't they stink?"

I shake my head. "No. Every part of you smells good."

Sighing, she closes her eyes, lays her head back as I rub; knead the arch of her pretty, little foot.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Hmm?" Her brows rise, as she hums.

"Who's Ben?" I ask, remembering what Mrs. Banner had said. I didn't even know Dr. Banner had a first name, so I suppose it's possible he could have a son.

"Ben was the Banner's son." Opening her eyes, she gazes at the glimmering blue, red, and green, as they dance, brightly lighting the sad look on her face.

"I never knew him, but they talk about him sometimes; things he had done, what he was like. Never any details really, just memories." She smiles. "All I really know is he loved baseball, and Christmas, and hot apple cider." The smile fades with her voice.

"He died before I was even born."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Lying wide awake, I face him, his back; cradling my restless head in my hand.

His parents are due in tomorrow, and I can't sleep, can't stop thinking.

Finger tracing his caged side, it glides over smooth skin, dipping down into the cut of his hip, and he stirs.

"You awake?" I whisper, scooting closer, kissing the pointed blade of his shoulder.

He hums.

Flipping to face me, he props up on an elbow, hovering, running his open palm along my inner thigh.

I stop him once he gets so far. "What if your mother hates me?" I blurt, and he blinks, shaking the sleep from his head.

Yawning, he plops down on his back. "She won't."

Scooting closer, I rest in the crook of his arm, rubbing his bare chest. "But, what if she does?" I push, and he sighs.

"Not possible."

Rolling back over, I huff, taking most of the covers, and he follows; rolling with me, draping an arm over my middle.

"She's going to love you, Baby." Kissing the underside of my jaw, he cuddles, pulling me closer. "She's going to love you because I love you. Besides, there's nothing to hate."

Looking over, I find his forehead relaxed; eyes closed, there's a small curve to his lips.

We're quiet, and after awhile I hear him softly snoring.

Watching the steady rise and fall of his breath, my mind runs rampant with the most ridiculous scenarios, important decisions yet to be made; the details seem clouded in these early morning hours.

"Edward?" I whisper at first, lightly tapping; shaking his shoulder when he doesn't wake.

"Edward!" I shake him again, and he jerks, snorting as he sits up in the bed.

"What? What's wrong? Is it Seth?"

Sitting up with him, I kiss his shoulder. "No, I'm sorry, it's just.. where are they going to sleep?"

Rubbing his eyes, he looks over; confused. "Who?"

"Your parents. Where are they going to sleep?"

Shrugging, he yawns. "I don't know. They can sleep in here, I guess."

Nodding, I lay back down, only to shoot right back up. "So, does that mean you'll be sleeping in my room with me?"

Scratching the scruff on his chin, he shrugs again. "Yeah Babe, unless you don't want me to."

Shaking my head, I grab his bicep, thumbing the flexed muscle. "No, no, I want you to."

He nods, and we lie back down. Cuddling back into the crook of his arm, I lightly scratch his skin with my nails.

"Edward?" I whisper, and he hums, squeezing my hip.

"Hmm?"

"Have uh.. Have you ever introduced anyone to your parents?" I don't know why I ask, why I need to know; I just do.

My stomach flips, nervous for his answer.

I'm irrationally jealous of a hypothetical girl, but a girl none the less.

I don't like it.

I don't like it one bit.

"No."

Licking my dry lips, I prop myself up on a shaky elbow. His eyes stay closed, as I stare at his rested face.

"Have uh.. Have you ever been in love.. I mean, before.. before this?" I whisper, and they open. The tired green shimmers when it catches the moonlight.

My breath shortens; heart thrums; they fill the room, replacing the silence, until he finally speaks.

"No."

Holding back a relieved sigh, I lie back down, resting my comforted head on his warm chest.

I count the beats of his heart, as they pump against the shell of my ear, uncertainty creeping back into my cooling veins, only this time it's not mine, it's his.

I can feel it; the quickened beat of his heart, the tightening of hard muscle.

I know exactly what he's thinking.

He lives with it.

Every day, he lives with the knowledge that I loved another, that I chose someone else, someone that wasn't him.

He just accepts, knowing it for fact, where I couldn't even stand the thought.

Scraping my lip with my teeth, I rub the strain from his chest; torn between silently soothing, and explaining something I really think he should understand.

Opening and closing my mouth, I take a deep breath, blow it out; knowing that if the tables were turned, I would want to know, would _need_ to know.

He needs to know.

"I was sixteen when I met Jake. Our dads were friends, so we always saw each other, hung out a lot." Clearing my throat, I chance a look, and find Edward watching, listening intently. There's no real sign, so I continue. "He was really sweet, always made me laugh; smiled a lot. We were just kind of together, ya know. He never really asked me to be his girlfriend or anything, I just was."

Laying my head back on his chest, I feel his hand at my back, rubbing, encouraging.

"I'm not saying it didn't feel right when I married him. I mean, I was young for sure, what did I know, right?" Flustered, I fidget, turning in his arms, sitting straight up.

He's right behind me, rubbing, silently soothing my tense back, and shoulders.

Shaking, I grab his hand.

Sniffing, I swipe at my nose.

"I thought I knew what happiness was, ya know? I thought I knew what love was, but, I didn't, not really, not like this, not like.."

Sucking in a ragged breath, I turn, looking into his waking eyes. Lifting a leg to straddle him, I settle over his lap, cradling his jaw, as he holds me flush.

"Not like you." I confess, and his mouth is on mine, pushing back, back, laying me down, out.

Legs spread, as eager lips part to sate greedy tongues. He tastes like Edward, soft, and sure; sloppy with disrupted slumber, and I love it.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him as he rips the clothes from my body.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him as he thrusts deep inside.

I love him.

I love him.

I love him as shifts, rocks, filling me again, and again, and again, until I come, and he stills, filling me more.

I love him as he slowly kisses, lifting me, placing us back under the covers.

And, I love him as he whispers he loves me too.

I love him.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Jolting straight out of the bed, I see the sun.

It's shining brightly in the early morning sky, glaring through a bend in the old blinds.

Blinking, I squint at the bedside alarm, gasping when I see what time it is. I meant to be up two hours ago, and now his parents will be here in one.

Climbing out of the disheveled bed, I gather the sheets in a pile, carrying them into the laundry room.

Haphazardly measuring the detergent, I pour it in the washer, turning it on, shoving the sheets inside.

Jumping, I shout, slamming the door.

"You scared the shi-"

Cupping my mouth, he warns. "Shhh."

My breath is hot, and moist; wetting my mouth, the palm of his hand as I pant.

"Seth's outside, but you have to be quiet."

I nod.

Turning me around, he picks me up, sitting me on top of the running washer.

"Oh, God." I whisper, raising my hips, letting him strip my bottom half.

Throwing the clingy material over his shoulder, he pulls me to the edge, pushing down the band of his sweats, stroking his stiff shaft. "I love it when you wear those pants."

No underwear.

Spreading, I wrap my legs around his back, and he steps closer, pushing up against me, teasing my twitching entrance before shoving in, filling me fully.

_"Fuck!" _I mouth, breathing heavily, trying to stay quiet.

Pressing firmly, he leans forward, helps me grind, and move, rub against the bone. He wants me to come, and quick, so I focus on his shoulder, the strain of inked skin over bulging muscle.

I'm so wet, I can feel it; feel it spreading all over the swirl of his pelvis.

Burying my teeth into the black, I hold back a whimper, as my toes start to tingle.

I'm close.

So close.

"Hello?"

Edward stops, and we both pull back, wide-eyed, and so, very caught.

"Shit."

Pulling up his sweats, he bends down, throwing me my pants, and I hurriedly put them on, hopping down to pull them up.

"Please tell me that's not your mother. Please tell me that I'm not going to meet your mother for the very first time, un-showered, and half naked." I plead, but all he can do is grimace, pull me in for a hug, and offer a little bit of sympathy.

Well, not good enough.

"She's still gonna love you, probably even more now." He says smirking, taking my hand before opening the door.

"I promise."

* * *

They're here! Who else is super excited?! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

******Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

******Thank you to robsta for writing a great review for ****By Your Leave** over at **TLS for Fic of The Week**! 

* * *

_**Bella**_

Looking back, I can possibly recall a handful of times when I've truly been embarrassed. It didn't take much to warm these cheeks, but seldom did they burn.

And boy, have they burned.

Walking in on Edward naked, being caught red-handed with his white, cotton briefs shoved down in my back pocket, and then, there was that one time Seth took a Tampax tampon to school for show and tell.

Yep.

It was 'W' day, and even though he couldn't tell the class what it was for, he knew it was white, and that was all that really mattered.

"You ready?" Edward asks; one hand on the knob, the other reaching out for mine.

Nodding, I take it, realizing that not one of those cheek-charring moments; not-a-one, compares to the fire that has lit these surely, scorched apples.

Meeting the parents of the man I was just getting-it-on with atop a running washer- well, there was no coming back from that- nope.

This by far, is the worst.

Walking out of the laundry room, we come face to face with Edward's mother; small, petite, not one copper-colored hair out of place. Esme Cullen's green eyes shine as she grins from ear to ear, blinding with her perfect, pearly whites. She's beautiful, hasn't aged a day from the moment they snapped the picture that sits on Edward's dresser. My telling cheeks burn as I take in his father's smirk, as he stands just behind her in all his silver-fox glory, while my son sits on his knees and tears into snowman, wrapping paper.

Standing there, we all stare for what seems like forever; the soft ripping resonance of the thinly, wrapped gift being the only indication it hasn't been.

Finally Edward snaps out of it, placing a hand at the small of my back, and lightly pushing me forward. My heart flutters, starts back up with the sound of his deep, guileless voice. "Mom, Dad, this is Bella. Bella, these are my parents Esme, and Carlisle, and it looks like you guys have already met Seth."

Quietly chuckling, he tousles the flurry-moist hairs on Seth's head, and I contemplate apologizing for my current state of undress;_ our_ current state of undress. It's obvious we were up to no good; blatantly obvious. Him- shirtless, covering the bulge of his low hanging sweats. Me- flushed, subtly adjusting my stretched out tank. Instead, I try to ignore the fact that I've put my yoga pants on backwards, and hold out my hand. "It's so nice to meet you."

Clicking across the hardwood floor in her shiny, silver, four inch heels, Esme wraps me up in her outstretched arms. "You're so beautiful!" She beams, briefly turning to her husband. "Carlisle, isn't she beautiful?"

Nodding, he quietly chuckles. "Very beautiful, Dear." And, I'm speechless; mouth agape as Esme turns back to hug me again, only this time I hug her just as tight, feeling her fingers softly playing with the ends of my hair.

Backwards britches forgotten, I fight the urge to sigh, close my eyes, and melt into the motherly embrace. Edward's the only other one who's hugged me this affectionately in such a long time, and I'm not sure if I'll let go.

"Mom, look!" Seth yells excitedly, and I lift my chin from her harboring shoulder. "It's a Black Hawk, just like the one I asked Santa for." He holds it out, then stands, curiously eyeing the plastic, see-through package before looking up at Carlisle, and then Esme. "Do you guys know Santa or something?" His innocence tickles as if it were fingers, making us laugh, short, and loud, and he smiles, suddenly shy.

"No Seth sweetie, we don't know Santa, but let's go outside and you can show me how this works." Batting a wink, Esme takes Seth's hand, leading him and Carlisle through the front of the house. Edward and I watch as all three file out the front door, shutting it behind them.

That wasn't so bad.

"See, she loves you." Draping an arm over my exposed shoulders, Edward kisses my temple. "So much in fact, she's giving us privacy to, ya know, finish."

_What?_

Craning my neck, my wide eyes meet his mischief. "Finish?"

Smirking, he nods.

_What?_

"I'm not having sex with your parents in the house!" I quip a whisper, a little offended, and a whole lot turned on, and he chuckles, nuzzling into my neck.

"They're not in the house."

Failing to hold back a smile, I nudge him away, ignoring the fresh throb between my shaky legs. I can still feel the spin cycle on the back of my burning thighs. "You know what I mean."

Bending low, he pushes the shielding hair behind my shoulders, thumbs the dip where my jaw meets my neck, knowing exactly what that does to me. He's an ex-Marine; good with his hands, and diverting pulse points. "You mean to tell me you're going to go a whole week without having sex with me?"

Well, when he puts it that way.

"I haven't uh, haven't really thought about it." I stutter, and he stands up straighter, stretching, pulling each and every lithe muscle of his rippled stomach; the already low-dipped band of his sweats dips lower, flashing a tuft of darkened hair, and the peak of his flexed bicep bulges with a yawn, and bend of his elbow. He finishes off with a sigh, and a tug to that crazy copper-colored hair.

I see what he's doing, and it's not going to work.

"Well while you're thinking about it, I'll be in the shower." Giving my backside a light pat, he takes off, calling from halfway down the hall. "Feel free to join me."

Absolutely not going to work.

**.**

**.**

**.**

I'm sad to say, I didn't join Edward in the shower. And now, sitting here watching him help his mother fix breakfast really makes me wish I had.

Edward has always been helpful around the house, comes in really handy when something breaks, or is just out of reach, but the cooking thing is new, and I like it.

I like watching his fluid movement as he moves around, navigates the stocked kitchen, knowing exactly where everything is kept. Who knew he paid attention? Who knew he could measure ingredients, and smoothly mix them all together? Who knew he could cook?

Flipping a pancake in the air he just misses the pan, sending Seth into a laughing fit, and I smile, watching him bend to pick it up. His black thermal hugs just right, snug around all his hardened muscle. Just the way his thumb and forefinger push the sleeve to his elbow has me squirming on my high, bar stool.

Yep, should've joined him in the shower.

"I was thinking maybe we could all go do something fun together. Have you guys been to see the Zoo Lights?"

Pulling my gaze away from Edward's dark-wash, bent backside, I face his knowing mother, shaking my head.

"Can Sam come?" Seth grin's an ornery grin, idly flicking the plastic propellers of his new remote controlled helicopter, as I fruitlessly comb at the cowlick standing at attention on the back of his well-rested head.

"Who's Sam?" Esme asks, cutting up a pancake into small pieces, smothering it with syrup, and sliding it over to Seth.

"Sam's my B.F.F."

I roll my eyes at the leftover lingo he learned from those silly, teenaged girls, and Esme smiles.

"Well then, he has to come." She insists, sending me another one of those famous Cullen winks, and a plate full of syrup covered pancakes.

I knew I would like her.

Just knew it.

As we dig in, Edward forgoes anymore failed pancake flipping, placing a stack in front of his mother, and makes a plate for himself. I find this incredibly sexy; so incredibly sexy that this big, strong, handy-man puts others first, thinks nothing of it to take care of his mother, and I wonder how many times he'll fill my heart full, make me fall in love with him. Is there a limit? Is there a max? Can the heart only take so much?

Pin prickles sting my eyes, and I blink, sniffing them back, swallowing them down. How ridiculous would I look crying into my half-eaten plate of delicious pancakes?

Really ridiculous.

It takes a couple tries, but I get it under control; tentatively listening to Edward's childhood stories, laughing when they laugh, laughing when they don't. I can't stop laughing, can't stop looking at all three of them, the way they look at each other. I could get used to it; could definitely get used to this family togetherness. It reminds me of my mother, and a small pain tinges the tip of my heart. I know my dad loves me, but I've never heard him laugh, not like this, never like this.

Once everyone is finished, Carlisle and Edward take Seth outside in the falling snow to run off the sugar, while Esme helps me in the kitchen. We're comfortably quiet while she picks up the strewn supplies, and I wipe down the old, yellow-tinged counters. When I turn around from hanging the rag on the oven handle, I find her sitting at the island, looking right at me.

"You know, it was fate that brought Edward here. He was meant to find you." She starts, propping the point of her chin against the clasp of her hands.

A bit thrown, I quirk a brow, leaning against the edge of the now-clean counter. "Really?"

"Mm-hm." She nods, a coy smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It seems they all shared the same, lazy smirk. "He wasn't supposed to come here. They actually got him mixed up with another wounded soldier who wound up in our local medical center; similar names. Imagine our surprise when we show up to see our son, and find someone else's." Her tinkling laughter creases the edge of her bright, green eyes, filling the space between us. There's nothing funny about it, but I find myself smiling, closing the gap.

"Why didn't they send him home when they found out?" I'm curious, climbing up on to a stool, opposite Edward's mirrored image, wondering why in the world he would want to stay; certain he would want to go home given the chance.

Shrugging her petite shoulders, she sighs. "He was unconscious for a while, lost a lot of blood, and when he finally came to, he was really just too weak to travel." Her soft smile never really leaves as she continues, fingering the rounded handle of her steaming cup of coffee. "I tried again to get him to come home once he was up, and moving around, but he had grown to trust the doctors, especially this Dr. Banner; who I'd very much like to meet." Bringing the edge of the mug to her lips, she blows, taking a small sip before clearing her throat. "I finally stopped bugging him after he told me about you, and Seth. I've never seen him this way. He's never been so happy, Bella; really, never."

Her confession hits me hard, right smack dab in chest, stopping my heart, starting it right back up. The prickling sting is back, and with a vengeful force. I know that his mother knew about us, he told me. But, to hear it come from her, leaves me reeling, stunned all over again. Clearing my throat, I meet her seeking, green eyes, readily giving her what she's searching for.

"Me either."

Holding my gaze, she tilts her head; smiles, seemingly satisfied, as she jumps down from the too-high bar stool. "Come with me." She says, holding out a perfectly manicured hand, and I take it, sliding down myself. "I brought incriminating photos."

Snickering like a couple of those silly, teenage girls, we sit side by side on the living room couch, matching toothy grins as she digs around in a large duffel bag, pulling out stacks, and stacks of eclectically, covered albums. She hands me the blue, alphabet-blocked, baby book first.

"This holds everything up to his fourth birthday." She beams, as I touch the cloth cover; running my fingers over the soft, fluffy fabric before flipping it open. I ooh and awe at his small, mainly naked form, and I remember those years; the ones where Seth would strip, satisfied with wearing the absolute minimal amount of clothing.

"He was so cute, wasn't he?" She coos, tracing an outline over the bubbled, pealing plastic where Edward's green eyes pop; wet and smiling up from the water in the claw-based tub. The bright irises shine, only intensified by the surrounding clumps of long, dark lashes.

"Yes, still is." I blush, seeing her tilted stare out of the corner of my eye. Ignoring the burn in my heated cheeks, I continue to flip, and she looks away with the scrape of the noisy, brass doorknob, as the boys come stomping back in.

Plopping down beside me, Edward drapes a heavy, cold arm over my shoulders, and I sink into him, slightly turning my nose to sniff the woodsy, wet fragrance that is totally, and completely, one hundred percent him; all him, and a dash of spicy Stetson.

"I can't believe you brought all of these, I haven't seen them in forever." Leaning forward, Edward sounds a million miles away, lifting his arm from around me, grabbing the flimsy, white-ribbed album. Settling back against the couch cushions, his arm comes back around, pulling me close, and I melt right back into his warming side.

I watch as he opens it; the darting shift of his crinkling eyes, the upwards curve of his smirking mouth. It barely registers when Esme informs us she and Carlisle will be in Seth's room meeting Robert aka Bob the fish.

And we're left alone.

"I remember this." Pointing to a fading, corner picture, he smiles, tapping the box he was holding up right in front of the neatly, decorated Christmas tree. Dressed in a red flannel onsie, he sits on the white soles of his adorable, footed pajamas, surrounded by strewn bits of ripped wrapping paper, smiling up at the camera's flash.

"It was the Christmas of eighty-five." He amusedly huffs, rubbing the dry skin on his lower lip. Licking it, he turns to look at me, idly running his fingers through the ends of my hair. "I remember because all I wanted was a Transformer, and keep in mind, I wasn't picky; any Autobot would do."

Smiling wide, my gaze doesn't follow as he looks back down; it stays on him, _his_ wide smile, as I stroke the side of his scratchy face.

See, still just as cute.

"I'm sure you can imagine my disappointment when Santa accidentally mixed up our names, and I tore into one of Alice's My Little Ponies." Chuckling, he continues to flip, and I continue to watch, petting his scruffy jaw line.

"That must have been disappointing." I sympathize, thinking about this happy, little Edward's smile drooping into a frown, and he leans into me; my comforting hand.

"Not as bad as my last eight." This surprises me.

"You haven't been home for eight Christmases?" I ask, straightening. Scooting even closer, I tuck my stocking covered feet up under me. My fingers move back to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, as his arm drops lower behind me, firmly holding my waist.

He shakes his head. "I never put in for it, not Christmas, not Thanksgiving, or New Year's. I just figured somebody else needed it more than I did; someone with a wife, and kids." He shrugs, and he's done it; made me fall in love with him all over again. My heart aches, combined with knowing what all he's missed, and the strain of how full he's filling it. The urge to crawl into his lap, and burrow myself into his thoughtful chest makes me tingle, almost twitch.

"Don't feel too bad for me." Looking over, he lifts his finger from the pealing plastic, and skims my jaw, placing a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. "There was no snow, but it was cold enough, and Santa always came to visit." His ornery eyes sparkle, as he pulls me closer, and turning I sit in his lap, just like I wanted to.

Wrapping one arm around the back of his neck, I lift my hand to stroke the scruff. "Did you get to sit on his lap, and tell him what you wanted?"

Squeezing my outer thigh, he huffs through his nose with a closed mouth grin. "No, but I did get a Santa hat to keep my buzzed head warm, so that was nice."

Giggling, I cuddle. "You're nice." I tell him, kissing his timber-scented neck, the cold shell of his ear, and the apple of his reddening cheek. "Tell me more."

"Not much to tell." He says, blowing a long breath out his nose. Combing my hair back over my shoulder, he plays with the ends. "You're pretty."

Smiling, I push at his chest before wrapping another arm around his neck, and kissing his dry lips. He still tastes like syrupy pancakes, and his two cups of Folgers. "I'm being serious."

"So am I."

Rolling my eyes, I go to get up, but he holds me firmly in place. "For the most part it was repetitive, boring. Every day was the same; wake up, get dressed, go to breakfast; replace an air compressor on a V8 engine, go to lunch; rotate some tires, check the gauges, do some oil changes, go to dinner, go to bed to just thankfully wake up the next day, and do it all over again." He shrugs, softly smiling with his eyes, and just the corner of his mouth. "But, Christmas was always pretty good. A Santa here, a reindeer there, a few strung lights around the base, lots of Santa hats." He chuckles, making the edge of his eyes crinkle. "Dinner was just like anywhere else, your choice of turkey, or ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pie.. cookies." Rubbing his stomach, he licks his lips, making me want to kiss them. "So see, really boring except for that last night. It was.. not."

Looking from his lips to his eyes, I go from lightly fingering the scruff to roughly cradling his jaw. I adjust on his lap, unable to, but needing to get closer; thinking about the 'what ifs'; what if he had been sent home like he was supposed to be, what if he hadn't found the ad in the local paper, and I never met him, what if he had died.

My heart is beating a mile a minute, pounding against the building pressure in my chest. I'm suffocating; suffocating on the 'what ifs', and it must show.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay." He soothes, taking my trembling hand, and placing it against his chest; right over his beating heart.

_He's okay._

His heart's beating.

He's okay, but what if he wasn't; what if he hadn't been?

Dragging my hand up his chest, I take his with me, wrapping both arms tightly around his neck. I hold him close, but not close enough, as he lets go, skimming the length of my squeezing arm, wrapping both of his around my waist. We hold each other; just hold each other so tight, and sure feeling the other breathe, until we hear three sets of loud footsteps coming down the creaking stairs. Sliding off his lap, I sink back into his side, as the three of them come strolling in.

Carlisle quietly reclines, while Seth pushes his little, toy cars around his feet, humming and screeching, making little, toy car sounds, as Esme sits back down beside us.

"Well, Bob seems nice."

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Wildlights **

Rose looks ridiculous in her faux, fur hat, white Appaman coat, and fluffy Eskimo boots. And I'm only half kidding when I say she resembles an escaped animal, and I hope they don't chase her down, tie her up, and lock her away.

"You like my new boots? They were an early X-mas present from my Emmy."

Yes, she says _'X-mas'_ as she pinches '_Emmy's'_ rosy-cold cheek, making kissy noises with her puckered, red-painted lips.

Not wanting to say no, I pop a roasted chestnut in my mouth, moaning over the faint croons of Nat King Cole. "Mmm." Squinting, I somewhat nod, somewhat shake my head.

Very ambiguous, this move.

But, apparently, not ambiguous enough.

"It's settled then. I'm getting you a pair. Do you want white or black? No friend of mine will be caught dead wearing brown, that's for damn sure. Hmm-mm." Shaking her head, she loops our arms, pulling me away from the one I really want to loop arms with, as we follow our hooting, and hollering children to the 'Holly Jolly Giraffes' enclosure, the 'Merry Measuring Monkeys' exhibit, and the equally clever 'Toothy Tidings Tiger' den.

Walking along snow–shoveled, black pavement, I look back to find a smirking Edward. Smiling, silently telling him to shut up, and save me, I reach back for his hand, and Esme comes up to loop Rose's other arm. "Oh look Rose, Polar bears. Let's go see if we can get them to come up to the glass for the boys."

I hold back, as we both glance behind the white poof that is Rose, as Esme gives me another one of those famous Cullen winks and says. "I'll bet they're attracted to anything fluffy and white."

If I thought I liked Esme Cullen before, I knew I loved her now, as my glove-covered fingers finally intertwine with her son's. On this chilly winter night, every passing tree trunk and every swaying branch is lit and twinkling, as they compete with the full moon's glare. But not one strobe, not one strand of these bright, shining lights, can take my eyes off of _him_. I can see how good he looks in the new, dark-gray, pea coat his mother brought him. The soft, wooly fabric goes with his fairing complexion, and I can't stop looking at him.

He cleans up nice.

"What are you going to do if she actually buys you those things?" He asks over the soulful, soft sounds of Bing Crosby , unclasping our padded fingers and hugging me close by the waist as we walk in sync; left, right, left, right.

"I could always accidentally burn them in the fireplace. But, you'd have to sweep out the chimney first."

Chuckling, he holds me tighter, seamlessly kissing the side of my head as we catch up to the others and find out Esme was right- Polar bears _are_ attracted to anything white.

It was amazing really, how the big, beautiful thing tried to bump, claw, and lick its way through the thick glass just to get to Rose. This is nothing short of the attention she's used to, I'm sure, because the boys are the first to get bored and walk off, singing about how they want hot booger chocolate as they go. We obediently follow, while Emmett stays behind trying to pull her away.

Once they finally catch up, the boys are both on their second cup, and ready to leave; the sugary brown liquid holding no threat against the colorful, tiring trek, of the freezing cold night. And by the time Edward gets Seth to the car, he's passed out and drooling all over his new, wool coat.

I wipe it off with the sleeve of mine, and he kisses me full on the cold lips. We make out like a couple of kids; pressed up against the side of the car, pawing, getting nowhere when we're interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

My cheeks catch fire once more as we say our goodbyes to the forgotten couples, and climb into the car with Edward and his parents.

The car ride home is not necessarily uncomfortable, but quiet, and as soon as we're all filed into the cozy, warm of the house, his parents say a quick goodnight, disappearing behind the door to the back bedroom.

I follow Edward up the stairs and into Seth's bedroom where we kiss him goodnight, clasp hands, and quietly tiptoe to my room.

I fumble with my clothes, watching as he easily strips; slipping the black thermal up and over his head, feeling around, emptying his pockets before going for the belt, quickly unclasping the squared silver, then undoing the button, lowering the long zipper, and letting the dark denim drop to the floor, where he steps out, leaving them strewn on the floor of his side of the bed.

"I forgot my sweats in all the uh.. excitement this morning." He sniffs, wiping his red-tinged nose before looking up, and giving me a smile.

Shrugging, I finally finish undressing. Unclasping my bra, I let it fall to the floor where I leave it, and slide under the covers wearing nothing but my matching, white cottons. "That's okay." I say, patting his side, silently telling him to get in.

Smirking, he turns off the light, slides in beside me, and turns away adjusting his pillow before settling. "Night." He says, as I prop myself up on my elbow, mouth agape, ready to call him out before thinking of something better.

I know exactly what he's doing, and I'm having none of it when I press my lips against his shoulder, running an open hand over his tightened stomach to cup, softly stroke him over stretched-thin fabric. I wait until he's pressing back, before rolling over, and turning away. "Night." I tease, giggling when I feel him shift to pull me to my back, settling between my spread legs. I stop when he pushes my panties to the side, pulling himself out through the flap of his briefs.

"I take it you thought about it." He breathes, pressing himself against me, toying with my aching opening; shallowly sliding in and out, noisily slipping up and down.

I'm so wet, always so wet for him.

Always.

Licking my lips, I nod.

"Yes."

"And?" He asks, never looking up, keeping his eyes between my thighs.

I hold back a groan. "I want it. I want to." I pant. "Please." I plea; still sorry I never joined him in the shower this morning. I had been thinking about it all day, wanting it all day.

"What made you change your mind?" Quirking a brow, he pushes in further, pulling out when I lift my hips.

I whimper. "You."

"What about me?" He strains, holding my seeking hips down, dipping deeper only to pull back out, and I cry.

"Fuck! These!" I say, grabbing the bulge of his biceps, running the length to his shoulders, and down to his flexed chest. I thumb the browned centers, earning a hiss before spanning his rippled stomach. "This." I breathe, rising, kissing the black ink on his skin as I graze the curve of his backside, pulling him close. "Every-thing." I hitch, as he fills, fully sheaths himself in the heated love between my spread legs. And I watch as he moves in, out, in, out. I watch him as he watches, in, out, in, out; the flutter of his eyes, the gape in his mouth, the bob of his breathy swallow. I watch him come as I come, long and hard and breathless and silent. I just watch, every move I watch, until he's snoring, soundly sleeping beside me.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Christmas Day**

Waking alone, I roll over to see it's just past seven.

Odd.

Very odd, seeing as Seth's usually up by five and crawling onto my bed, pulling off the covers, and yelling _get out of bed sleepy head! Santa was here! Santa was here!_

I guess it's a good thing since I'm half naked and all, but still. An informative knock on the locked door would have been nice.

Pulling back the covers, I shiver; covering myself with equally cold arms as I pick up, and put on my bra, then dig through my drawer, and fish through my closet, looking for the festive, snowflake tights, and oversized, cream-colored sweater I wear every year.

Comfy, cute, and Christmassy, I check myself in the mirror, combing my bedhead straight before pulling on my cotton-cozy booties, and making my way down the stairs. Walking through the living room, I see all the presents still intact, untouched, and my dad lounging in the recliner. "Where's Billy?" I ask, confused as to why he's here so early, wondering how the meet and greet went without me. "Merry Christmas to you too, kiddo." He smirks, flipping the handle to push down the foot prop, and stand. "He'll be up later, said to go on ahead, and he'd find a ride." Shrugging, he puts an arm around my shoulders, and kisses the top of my head. "They seem pretty nice, Edward's parents; kinda chatty." He shrugs again, referring to Esme, and Esme alone, since Carlisle doesn't say all that much, which I'm sure sits well.

"Yeah?"

He gives a nod, taking a sip of his too- early, can of beer. "Yep." He mumbles, giving me a sideways squeeze before sitting back down and zeroing in on the muted television, and I back away, a little saddened, when I round the corner into the bustling kitchen.

Esme, and Edward are cooking up a storm, and setting everything up while Carlisle and Seth sit side by side sharing the crayons and oddly colored, coloring book. And while the sight warms my heart, it makes it ache a little too. I may have needed the sleep, but I need this more; more togetherness, more tradition, and more memories. I was missing out.

"Merry Christmas!" I greet, pushing the silly hurt aside, and embrace Seth from behind, kissing his cow licked hair, as they all beam, wishing the unified tiding back at me.

"You want to open your presents, Baby? We can wait until you're done, and then we can eat." I assure, poking his potbelly, and he recoils, giggling, nodding his head before jumping off the stool, and they all follow into the rising, sun-lit living room, gathering around, watching Seth go to town.

Mirroring my son, I sit back on my heels, handing him package after package, crawling underneath the poking, pine tree to pull out more. We all ooh and awe at all the right times, meeting his smiles, and excitement with our own.

There's a knock just as Edward sneaks to the back room to wheel out Seth's brand new bike, and I get up to answer it, glad Billy's not going to miss this.

My smile falls, as I swing open the door.

"Hey, Bella."

* * *

Just in time for '_X-mas' _;) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta **SUNFLOWER3759** for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! **Mistakes are my own.**

******Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!**

* * *

**Warning: **This chapter contains the o/s I wrote for Stand Up 4 Katalina entitled **Purple Hearts and Paper Ads.** It follows Sergeant Major Edward Cullen through the circumstances and events that led him to Bella's door. It has been re-written, containing depictions of war, and new character death. Possible triggers.**  
Dedication: **This story is dedicated to Jeff Walsh who succumbed to cancer three years ago. He, like Sergeant Major Edward Cullen was also a distinguished veteran with a Purple Heart and a Silver Star for bravery. Proof that cancer strikes even the mighty.

* * *

**_Edward_**

It's funny sometimes; how those unexpected moments catch you off guard, and knock you off your feet; triggering an emotional reaction so unsettlingly strong, you can't keep it in, can't hold it back.

While Quil showing up on Christmas morning had been uncomfortable, it wasn't one of those moments. It didn't bother me as he handed Seth that neatly wrapped package. I wasn't worried when Seth opened it, pulling out the handcrafted dreamcatcher, curiously asking what it was. And I wasn't threatened when Quil pulled Seth onto his lap, explaining how his father had made it when they were just boys. In fact, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed sitting there, listening as they each took a turn rehashing their own ridiculously elaborate stories. I enjoyed it because it was a huge part of them. Jake _is_ a huge part of them; always will be.

Pulling Bella down beside me on the bed, I hold her close, nuzzling into the sweet scent of her hair, the soft surface of her skin; just needing to be close; so much closer. "How is he?"

Sighing, she nuzzles back, warming cold fingers with the shocked skin of my back. "He's finally sleeping. I didn't think he was ever going to stop."

Tears pool at the edge of my eyes, and I squeeze them shut, remembering his flushed, wet face; how it twisted and contorted with his unnaccepting wails; the soft, unsettled whimpers he forced as he fought inevitable sleep.

"That Goddamned fish. Why do they give them out as prizes at kid's fairs anyway? All they do is come into your life to turn it upside down when they die!" Both clearly upset, we just hold onto each other; soothing with touch, trying to minimize the pain.

How is it , that one, little fish could turn us all on our axis; catching us off guard, and knocking us off our feet.

This was that moment; the one that triggered an emotional reaction so unsettlingly strong, I couldn't keep it in, couldn't hold it back.

So, I didn't.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_It was just another end of another long day._

_My men and I had been here so long, we didn't even know which day it was. Not that it mattered. Every day here was the same. The same food, the same clothes, the same sun, heat, and sand in our boots; it was always the same routine. And, I was getting too old for it._

_"Jaysus Christ, dis fackin' sand!" Yorkie complained. Tipping his boot upside down, he dumped it all over the tent floor._

_"You know the drill, Yorkie. Dump it outside." Drained, and not in the mood, I tiredly reminded him._

_"Like it fackin' mattahs. They-ah's fackin' sand evah-ree-whey-ah." He sassed, and I wonder if he'd had too much sun; his accent getting thicker with every muttered syllable. His mouth seemed extra smart, and I could hardly understand him. Boston born and bred, he couldn't end a word with an 'r' if his life depended on it._

_"Oh, yeah?" I muttered, turning towards him, crossing my overworked arms over my chest as I raised my brow in challenge._

_"Yeah." He accepted._

_"There's fucking sand everywhere." I confirmed, giving him another chance to stand down; to realize how stupid he sounded; how wrong his was, and how right he could be; how right he didn't want to be._

_"Yeah." He pushed; titling his head, extending his arms to help show me his attitude, and I'd had enough._

_Stalking towards him, I was over the top and dramatic; sweaty, smelly, tired, and like I said; not in the mood. _

_Stunned, he fell back as I bent at the waist, pointing a threatening finger in his face; my voice low, and even. "Dump sand in here again, and you'll fucking sleep outside since you like it so much."_

_I bent over him for a beat, watching him blink, seeing it in his eyes; the fear. To an outsider it didn't seem all that bad. So what? You slept in the sand, you woke up with some in your mouth, some tucked into your crevices; it was a nuisance, but doable, right? No. It wasn't doable, and Yorkie knew it. He'd heard of them. He'd seen them; the countless nightmares lurking right outside this tent; most nocturnal. He didn't want to increase his chances of being bitten by sand flies, and mosquitoes. He didn't want to wake up cuddled next to a death stalker scorpion, or any one of the multiple deadly breeds of vipers. And, I'd stick him out there. He knew it, too._

_"Am I clear, soldier?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye._

_"Yes, Sah. Loud and clee-ah, Sah." He audibly gulped, and I backed off, knowing his conformity would be short lived. Yorkie was an easy one to scare, but just as easily forgot. He'd be back to his loud, obnoxious ways in a matter of minutes, so I stepped outside; going in search of some distance, some quiet, and some water. The excess stress I had to deal with depleted me; constantly leaving me dehydrated and thirsty._

_The walk to the mess hall seemed to take forever; the late afternoon sun shining like a beacon on the back of my aching neck. The heat sunk in through muscle, and bone. Offering no comfort, it only burned; stung with the resulting sweat; constant sweat. Some days I wondered why I even bothered to shower. Crossing the threshold of thirty had taken its toll on my glands__. I might as well be sitting in a sauna wearing a track suit, I perspired so much. Sweat constantly dripped off of my forehead and into my eyes; ran down my back, and made me itch. At no point in time was I comfortable; not in the frigid, cold shower; not in the sand blowing breeze. _

_Never._

_Grabbing a couple bottles of Mountain Spring, I downed one before I even made it out of the back entrance. Trudging to the edge of camp, I hiked up a small hill, and carelessly plopped down in the sand; holding no concern for what could be hiding just underneath the surface. _

_I felt a need to get away; to quit. And I never quit. This new attitude scared me a little; knowing it made me vulnerable; susceptible to injury or death. I didn't necessarily want either, but I had my moments where I was open to accepting one. And they weren't as few and far between as they used to be._

_Chugging the last of my water, I let the empty bottle roll to a slow stop at the bottom of the hill, just inside my shadow; quivering when a large camel spider climbs out of the sand to nudge it away._

_Hell. _

_Harmless enough; they'd bite, but wouldn't kill; the worst part about them their unsettling appearance. Long and thick, they combined the worst features of a tarantula and scorpion. Running on their hind legs, they were menacing as they chased after the shade you provided; straight out of a B-rated horror movie, those things._

_Shit._

_Digging the heels of my hands into my eyes, I fought the urge to get up and run away. This was the first moment of peace I'd had all day, and I wasn't going to let this offensive creature ruin it. _

_Trying to ignore the long-legged bother, I squinted up into the setting sun. Peeking out from behind a cluster of large dunes, its golden light bounced off of the desert sand, giving the sky a dusky, orange hue. Just as I came to appreciate the baleful beauty, the wind picked up from behind me. Blowing against my sweat covered shirt, it cooled, sending the tingle of goose bumps all over my skin. And, for one blissful moment, I could breathe; I could relax, and I smiled._

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

_"Hey, Serg?" _

_Lying in my bunk, my back was turned toward the whispering of Tyler Crowley; the youngest in my battalion. Only eighteen years-old, probably never lived a day in his life, and he was stuck out in the middle of the Iraqi desert. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the kid. Not that I'm one to talk, but I did this for myself, not my overbearing father. Coming from money, Tyler never wanted for anything except approval. And while he may have gotten it, his heart and mind have never been in this. _

_"Yeah?" I whispered back, not bothering to turn over. If he ended up crying again, I wouldn't be able to take it. The biggest mistake I ever made was going easy on him. _

_"You got a girl back home?" He asked, and I held back a sigh. The last thing I needed on my mind was women. _

_"No." I mumbled, giving my pillow a few good punches before flipping it over. He started yapping his jaw before my head hit the cool side._

_"That's too bad; me either. I'm hoping to nab one when we get back. It's the uniform, ya know? For some reason the ladies just can't seem to resist." He divulged, and my annoyance dissolved. Snickering, I tried not to laugh out loud. Standing at five feet; six inches, the kid weighed about a buck-fifty soaking wet. He didn't have a lot going for him, but at least he was funny- even if he didn't mean to be. Maybe he had a chance after all._

_"I've never had a girl, if ya know what I mean. I'm sure you have, right? Lots of 'em probably. Do you, uh. Do you miss it? The, uh. The sex, I mean." He stumbled over his words. Wide-eyed, and caught off guard, I failed to suppress a cough._

_"Wat the fack, Crowley? Ya mean yous nevah wet ya dick be-fah?" Yorkie bellowed from the far corner of the quarters, waking everyone in the process. And I covered my burning face with my hands, rubbing it roughly. _

_This fucking guy._

_"Nobody was talking to you, Yorkie. And, I better not hear another fucking word. Gossip hour is over; done. That goes for everybody." Silence filled the tent, but I was left wide awake; listening to the whistling of the wind as it blew and scattered little shards of sand against the sides. It wasn't blowing as strongly as it usually did, leaving it reminiscent of the slightest rainfall. Combined with the similar chirp of what I doubted was a cricket, I was almost comforted with familiar sounds of home. _

_For the first time in a long time, I wondered about my family. Seeing them for a couple weeks out of a whole year, didn't constitute much. I heard from them often enough, but wondered what it was like to be in such close proximity to each other. Did they take advantage? Did they know how lucky they are? How often did they see one another? Did they still get together for Sunday cookouts, and family game nights? _

_I supposed a lot could have changed over time. I was eighteen when I left. Alice was only twelve. We didn't have much in common, but I still missed her terribly. I thought about her all the time; sent her a lot of things from my constant tours of the world. Sometimes I wondered if she kept every post card, every silly, t-shirt, and snow globe. The last gift I sent her was a simple, white**,** beaded necklace; hand crafted by a kind, elderly woman right here on the streets of Baghdad. I bought it the day she told me she was marrying Jasper. _

_Jasper.._

_Now, my first instinct was to be angry. No big brother wanted their sister growing up, going out with boys, and then getting married to one; especially his best friend. I sat, I stewed, and I sulked. I thought about him, and what this meant. Always quiet, calm and collected, he was her complete opposite. Next to her loud, energetic, scatterbrained nature; he was her most sensible match. And right at the moment I realized that, I saw the necklace. I was just sorry I couldn't be there to see her wear it._

_How different would my life have been if I hadn't gone into the service? If I would have settled in one place and found someone, would I be married already? How would we have met? Would I have known as soon as I saw her? What would she look like? Would we have kids; did I want them? I had never really thought about it until now. Truth is, I hadn't been around enough of them to know._

_As my mind drifted back to the present, I noticed the sand was no longer hitting the side of the tent; the wind had stopped, and the mysterious chirping had ceased. With no sound to lull me back to sleep, my imagination ran rampant. In every scenario, I seemed happy, and I wondered if I really would be. Could I be happy settling down, keeping a wife, and raising a child? I wondered if I was happy now. And in the same moment I realized I'm not, the first bomb hit._

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

_I woke up face down. _

_Inhaling a mouthful of sand, I let out a strangled cough; trying to stay calm as I flexed, and made small movements to assess for any injuries. When I was sure there weren't any, I raised my head. Blurry stars twinkled, lighting up the black, night sky. The smell of smoke, heavy in the air, I could hear the crackling of a fire._

_I knew where I was- Baghdad, Iraq. I remembered my name- Edward Cullen; Sergeant Major Edward Cullen._

_I knew I was okay; for now._

_Off in the distance, I noticed the shredded, khaki material of what I assumed, used to be my tent. Crawling towards the only surrounding cover, I scanned from side to side; front to back; listening, looking out for any movement. _

_"Serg!" His voice was infallible; the panic obvious; coming in from the east, it carried on the wind. I cursed him under my breath for stupidly baiting himself, and me. He knew there was no way I would have left him there to die; or worse, be taken._

_Fuck!_

_He continued to call out as I increased my speed, crawling across the open desert- unarmed. Sand dug into skin with every strike of an elbow, and it was surprisingly the worst, fucking pain I'd ever had to endure._

_Over his screams, I heard a zip; sharp and quick, as it flew over my head, and I jumped up to stand as it hit; nearly knocking me off my feet. Piercing whistles filled my ears as I ran fast and hard on unsteady ground; my legs shaking with the tremor of a resonant boom. Coming up on him quick, I barely avoided the scattered gunfire, until he was just out of arm's reach. Heart pounding, I felt the bite when the bullet hit the bone. Dropping to the ground, I continued to crawl; dragging my dead leg behind me._

_"Crowley!" I called to him, but he didn't respond. When I got close enough, I reached out; going limp as I took his hand. He was cold and clammy, but I could feel a pulse, and I squeezed in between his thumb and forefinger. Waking, he jerked away from me._

_"Crowley! Wake the fuck up!" I grabbed him, and squeezed again. This time he lifted his head._

_"Fuck, Serg! Stop that!" He tried to pull away once more, but I tightened my grip, increasing the painful pressure. I couldn't tell how badly he'd been hurt. But he was falling in and out of consciousness, and I needed to keep him awake as long as I could. "So this girl you're going to nab, is she blonde or brunette?" I distracted, and he smiled; laying his head back down as his eyes glassed over._

_"Crowley!" I yelled, and he blinked, but didn't answer._

_"Blonde or brunette?" I asked again, shaking his arm._

_"Blonde. How 'bout you, Serg?" He slurred, closing his eyes, and I started to feel myself slipping. Dizzy from the loss of blood, my breath quickened, turning into rapid pants. I didn't want to waste time talking about something as meaningless as hair color. I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay; that we were going to get out of there alive; that he was going to meet that blonde someday. And, I wanted to believe it. But, I didn't. Squeezing his hand one last time, I gave him everything I had; everything he wanted to hear._

_"She has.. long.. brown hair." Pausing in between words, I fought for breath. _

_"Brown.. eyes too.. We'll.. h-have.. a kid.." I panted out, realizing in that moment that I did; I did want to be a father; but I may not get to be. _

_"The b-.. best.. kid." I sucked in a staggered breath; feeling a tear fall, as the dark closed in all around me. Closing my eyes, I could almost see them as I let out that last and final word with my last and final breath._

_"Beautiful."_

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

_Beep.. Beep.. Beep.. Beep.._

_I stirred, hearing an incessant beeping in my ear; wanting to ask what it was. Why was it doing that? Could someone please turn it off? But, I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't open. Running my tongue along the back of my lips, they felt thick with grime; sticky; stuck shut. _

_Beep.. Beep.. Beep.. Beep.._

_I twitched my fingers. Clenching my hands, I released them. I lifted my arms, only to drop them back down. The weight, the ache, the effort of that simple motion made me feel like I'd done a million and one pushups._

_Beep.. Beep.. Beep.. Beep.._

_Wiggling my toes, a sharp pain shoots the length of my right leg, and I wince, vaguely recalling being shot._

_Beep.. Beep.. Beep.. Beep.._

_The bright light of the room illuminated the inside of my eyelids, giving them a reddened glow. I wanted to open my eyes, but I didn't; knowing the first peek was going to hurt, and I hurt enough already. _

_"Ah, you're awake! And you can move your foot, that's great!" _

_I started with the boisterous voice, feeling a heavy pat on my shoulder. My nose crinkled with the smell of antiseptic hand sanitizer. _

_"You gave us quite a scare there. Almost lost you a few times, but we pumped you full of blood; stitched up your leg. And with some physical therapy, you should be good as new in a few months." Another jolting pat made me jump, causing my leg to jerk painfully. And, the force of my silent aggravation parted my cracked lips._

_"Water." Hoarse and squeaky, I sounded desperate and dry. Eyes still closed, I felt a Styrofoam cup against my mouth, and I lifted my arm to hold it, only to drop it back down; thankful when they tipped it forward; greedy when the cold liquid wet my lips. Choking, I sputtered as the first gulp hit the back of my throat causing tears to sprout from behind my closed lids. Coughing, I leaned my head forward, barely finding the strength to rub them away as my eyes fluttered open._

_"Do you want to try again?" The same boisterous voice asked, and I nodded. "This time, go slow." _

_Taking the edge of the cup between my lips, I swallowed small sips, clearing my scratchy throat._

_"Crowley? Did he make it?" Blinking rapidly, I looked up as the doctor frowned; his blue eyes too bright for news he didn't want to deliver. _

_"I'm sorry." He patted me again, and I squeezed my eyes shut; lips together, as a jolting pain shot through my chest, and that same right leg. "You might wanna open those back up. All the female nurses were hoping to see those green eyes today."_

_Keeping them shut, I waited for him to get the hint, and go away._

_"Listen, I've got to finish my rounds, but you're doing great; fantastic. When Riley makes it over to you, you're getting up. Excruciating pain or not, you're walking. We're gonna whip you back into shape in no time." A loud slap to the back, and I swallowed down a yelp. "You're going home, Soldier. But, it's up to you how quickly you get there."_

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

_My legs dangled from the bed; my right pulsating with a pain so deep, that I looked back fondly on sand digging into my elbows- that now seemed like nothing. _

_"No pain, no gain, right?" Riley took in my grimace. Wiry for a physical therapist; his looks were deceiving. "The first time is always the worst." _

_I could feel my hands shake, as I placed them on the wheelchair. "Grab the handles." Hoisting me by the waist, Riley helped me the first time; but only the first time. And by the end of the day, I was limping down the hallway. _

_"Lookin' good, Soldier. But, could you put on a shirt? You've got these nurses in a tizzy." Doc gave me a smile, and I grounded myself for the anticipated slap or pat. But, neither came. _

_"How's the armor feel, strong, powerful? You're going to be running by tomorrow, right?" He winked, and when he forwent the pat a second time, I relaxed._

_"You know, the best thing about Titanium isn't its low density, or strength. It's __non-ferrous, which means you won'__t be setting off any metal detectors." Laugh echoing down the hallway, he gave me that previously anticipated slap, and I stumbled towards my weak side. Not letting on if he noticed, I was convinced he was doing it on purpose. And, it fucking pissed me off._

_"Well, I'm outta here. See ya tomorrow, old man." He started to walk away, only to quickly turn on his heel. "Oh, I almost forgot. Dr. Banner will be stopping by to see you in the morning. I fixed your body, he'll fix your mind. And, don't say you don't need a shrink." He lifted his hand, cutting me off, and I closed my mouth. "Just cause you can't see it, doesn't mean the damage isn't there. You went through a lot, lost a lot of men. The living are burdened with a heavy price, but it beats the alternative." Biting my tongue, I gave a curt nod; turning back towards my room, as I racked my brain; wondering what he had meant. And soon after, the nightmares began._

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

_Loosening stretches, heel slides, straight leg raises, repeat. Flashbacks, nightmares, sleepless nights, repeat. Arm lifts, arm circles, additional five pound weights, repeat. Thoughts, and feelings, and talking, repeat. Leg presses, lunges, climbing the steps, repeat. Improvements, regression, frustration, repeat. Hammer curl, bench presses, additional ten pound weights; twenty pounds, thirty pounds, all the way up, up, up to two hundred. Mornings and afternoons alternated; legs, arms; arms, legs. Dr. Banner reserved my mind for the evenings._

_Sweat, and tears, and grunts, and curses. Curses, and grunts, and tears, and sweat. Soon the shaky weakness was gone, replaced by steady strength, and the slightest hint of a limp. The nightmares had regressed into bad, but manageable dreams._

_"You ready to get out of here?" Riley so helpfully kicked my boot across the room._

_"Of course he is, but he's got to get his boot first." The equally evil doc leaned against the door frame; he and Riley both sharing the same sly smile, and I smirked; knowing I was going to miss their conspiring antics._

_"It's a good thing you're leaving, Green Eyes. The nurses have been unbearable, and I'm tired of you cluttering up my hospital." He joked, as they both watched me hobble; using my new cane as leverage to bend over and pick up my boot._

_"Now, we all know you just can't wait to have your title back." Dr. Banner appeared, nudging between the other two. "Doc here has been named most handsome three years running; until you came along, that is." With a sideways smile and a wink, he handed me the morning paper, and we all had a good laugh before being left alone for one final session._

_"Purple's a good look for you." Dr. Banner said, as he pointed to the metal hanging above my left chest pocket. _

_"I always thought so." _

_"Have you given any more thought about what we talked about?" His bushy, grey eyebrows rose as he waited for my answer._

_"I have." _

_"Well, then.." Lifting his hounds-tooth fedora, he backed out of the room with style; leaving me to my thoughts; the decisions yet to be made. And I sat back down on the stiff hospital bed, looking over my itinerary. _

_My flight was booked for tomorrow morning. My mother had prepared an apartment. My father's partner was willing to take over my medical care for now, and I had a new therapist all lined up. My sister was ecstatic, over-emotional, and pregnant. So, the decision should've been an easy one. I shouldn't have been having all these doubts._

_Opening the paper Dr. Banner had left behind, I looked over some of the headlines. _

_Original Marble Counter Reinstalled in Courthouse_

_Funds Authorized For Repair of Historic Covered Bridge_

_Stop Sign Installed On the Corner of Main and First._

_Cow Runs On To Rt 5, Hitting Truck, Injuring Passenger_

_Chuckling, I dropped the paper, groaning into the palms of my hands; wondering why I was even considering staying here. So, I liked my doctor; I liked talking to him. Who's to say I wouldn't like the new one? _

_Peeking out from behind my fingers, I looked down at the scattered black and white print when something caught my eye. _

_Picking up the Classifieds, I read the ad that'd been circled in bold, red ink. _

**_Room for Rent_**

_Folding it down into a square, I stuck it in my boot for safekeeping; just in case I needed it for later. I still hadn't made my decision. Gripping my cane, I stood to straighten my dress blues. Grabbing my duffel, I threw it over my shoulder. I took one last look around before taking my final steps as a United States Marine; my first steps as a free man; albeit a lost one. _

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

_The walk from the base was long, and painful, and I was starting to wonder why I even came when I caught sight of it. _

_The grass was thick, and heavy with neglect; the white siding faded, and falling off. But back in its day, I bet it was a beauty._

_Pulling out the ad, I limped across the yard; cautiously dodging toy trucks, trains, and planes. The scattered plastic play things brought a smile to my face; a pleasant feeling around my heart, when I realized a child most likely lived here._

_Taking the steps one at a time, I checked the address; making sure I had the right house before ringing the doorbell. When no one answered, I knocked a few times; yelling out a hello or two before giving up, and sitting down on the white, paint-chipped porch swing. The fall wind blew, cooling me through heavy wool, as the rays beat down on my neck; feeling nothing like the desert sun. This heat was soothing on my aching muscles, and I felt myself relax. Shoulders slouching, my head lulled; the Purple Heart hanging heavy with every rise of my chest. And just as I was about to close my eyes, my ears perked with the crunch of fallen leaves. Looking out towards the lawn, I saw her standing there; staring at me; staring at her. Long wisps of brown hair circled her slender neck; floating freely in the breeze. I watched as she walked; her hips swaying with every slowed step as she tempted; deterred simple thought. My breath caught at the sight of chocolate, brown eyes. Those brown eyes; I knew them._

_I knew them._

**.**

**.**

**.**

Telling Bella that I knew she was the one before I even met her was one the scariest thing I had ever done; scarier than signing my name, and life away at the age of eighteen; leaving my friends, and family, and all I'd ever known behind.

But none of those- none of those moments were so bone chillingly scary as the moment I almost died; knowing what I wanted, needed, uncertain if I'd ever have the chance to have it.

Nothing was scarier than that.

Not even as scary as this.

"I love you, Bella. I loved you before I even knew you." Looking over her tear-streaked face, I didn't know if it was the right time or not; didn't know if there was even such a thing. "And, I know I'm going to love you forever." Kissing her opened pink lips, I roll over, pulling the black velvet box out of the pocket of my jeans. I'd been carrying it around for a while waiting for this moment- the _right _moment. Fresh tears soak her pretty face, as I hand it over; my heart, my hand, the ring. "What do you say? Will you love me forever?"

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Hope you enjoyed the flashback! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta SUNFLOWER3759 for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! Mistakes are my own.

Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!

* * *

Short and sweet chappy for ya, but there's a lemon so it's okay. ; )

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_**Bella**_

"Oh God Bella, he did good." Rose squeals, pulling me in for a tight hug, and I tense, not used to her being so close. She'd given me three hugs since she first walked through the door. "Tell me how he did it again! Tell me! Tell me!" She chants, jumping up and down on the bubbling linoleum, causing it to crinkle and crack under the soles of her bright, red heels.

Sighing, I can't help but smile, as I play out the magical moment for the second time in the past five minutes that she's been here. And it hits me what we're doing, what this is, what we're acting like.

_Friends._

Rose is acting like a real friend, and for the first time, she really feels like one.

"I don't have my loupe, so I can't be sure, but this looks high quality, expensive. He must have spent a small fortune on you, girly." And she's back, giggling, playing with the ends of my hair. "Are you sure you don't want to come out tonight, if just to show off this new, shiny rock? Angela can come over here and watch both of the boys, no trouble. The girls need to see this. They're going to shit themselves!" Grabbing my hand, she stares down at the Asscher cut of the sparkling diamond, turning it to catch the light. And I stare at it with her, unable to take my eyes off of it. It's perfect.

"What are you two hens cluckin' about, huh; the classic, elegant taste of my good friend Eddie here?" Slapping Edward's shoulder, Emmett saunters over to stand beside Rosalie. "Or could it be my heart-stopping good looks? Don't be shy, now." Adjusting his tie, he juts his chin, pulling on the lapels of his black jacket. "I know I look good."

"Babe, sexy schmooze-wear or not, what did I tell you about referring to women as hens?" Rose asks, with a point of her plucked brow.

"Oh, I'm sorry; lovely, young ladies. That's what I meant to say, right Ed? - Lovely, young ladies. How's that, Rosie-baby?" He coos, wrapping his arms around the slinky black of her dress, and kisses the underside of her jaw. I can see the amused pull of those matching, bright-red lips, as she fights her smile, so I smile for her. I can't believe she and Emmett used to disgust me.

"Mom, I'm thirsty." Seth quietly croaks, rounding out of the hall and into the kitchen where he stops in his tracks, puking all over Edward's socked feet.

"Oh no, Baby, it's okay, it's okay." I soothe, running over when I see the warning cringe, and drop to my knees to take him into my arms, just as he starts to cry. Running my hands over his drenched back, I crane my neck to look at Rose and Emmett. "Sorry guys, but we're staying in." Nodding, Rose pouts with sympathy for my sick, little man. And they show themselves out, tip-toeing around the purple contents of his stomach.

Grape Popsicle.

In all the excitement, I hadn't even noticed that Edward was kneeling right beside us, still in his puke covered socks. "Should we take him to the doctor? He said to watch for excessive vomiting. I know it's New Year's, but the Emergency Room's always open. Do you think he needs to go to the hospital?" Combing Seth's sweaty hair with my fingers, I shake my head, watching Edward watch my crying son, worrying as if he were his own. And I'm falling hard in love with him all over again.

_God, what he does to me!_

Everything about this man is heaven sent; his mind, his body, his heart. I can't even hold his loud snores against him, and doubt I'd be able to sleep without them; not anymore. "I would hardly call one episode excessive." I assure, giving him a sympathetic smile; one that shows amusement for how cute he's being. "He should be okay. It happens sometimes when kids get strep, so I picked up some Pedialyte. As long as he keeps that down, he'll be all right."

Nodding, Edward kisses the top of his head, and then my hand, still completely oblivious to the undigested chunks of gummy snacks sticking to his feet. It had to be really uncomfortable and probably getting cold.

"You have puke all over you."

Pulling back, he shrugs. "It's not so bad; I've had worse all over me." Sadly smirking, he looks down at the purple mess covering his socks and a good part of the floor before getting up and stripping to his bare feet. "Don't move." He orders, and I watch him disappear, only to reemerge with a couple of old towels.

He even knew to use old towels.

_This man._

I could just kiss him, as he throws the towels on top of the watery mess, soaking it up before wiping it down with floor cleaner. There's no sign of the damage once he's done. And I don't even have to ask for him to carry Seth upstairs, as he routinely picks him up and out of my arms. I follow them to the bathroom where Edward proceeds to run some tepid bathwater and strip my son of the puke-stained pajamas. "You okay, Buddy?" He asks, brushing back Seth's growing bangs.

"Yeah." Seth whispers, barely moving his mouth, sounding so small.

Kissing Seth's forehead, Edward grips him under his arms and lifts him into the tub. I lean against the doorframe still watching as he wets a washrag, and wipes the purple stickiness from Seth's chin and chest. "Head back, Bud." Edward instructs, filling a handy, plastic cup with water. And I'm amazed as Seth concedes; tipping his head back so Edward can wash and rinse his hair. With me, it's always been a battle.

Once Seth's all clean, and wrapped up in an over-sized towel, Edward carries him to _our_ room, which we now refer to it. He hasn't gone back to his, since his parents left five days ago.

"Is this okay?" He asks, placing Seth gently in the middle of the bed, and I nod.

"Yeah, it's more than okay. _You're_ more than okay." I innocently flirt, pulling him close for an even more innocent kiss.

"Yeah?" He questions, pulling me back for a much slower, much less innocent kiss. And I have to hand it to him.

"Yeah."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Three nights.

For three nights, Seth had crashed in our bed.

_Our _bed.

Edward's and mine.

Mine and Edward's.

Kicking me in his sleep, unconsciously slapping me in the face.

And I'd had enough.

_Enough!_

Sneaking out from under the covers, I silently tip-toe my way down the creaking steps, wishing I could stomp and not run the risk of waking the snoring twosome. The last thing I needed was for them to follow me down here. Then where would I sleep? Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I turn left and make my way into the spare room. It's still filled with Edward's things; still smells like him. And I crawl into the cold sheets, curling up in a ball, and shove my face into the cool pillow, breathing him in. Yes, it smells exactly like him. His father must've used the same soap.

I'm half asleep, and finally warm, as a gust of cool wind blows over my backside. And I feel the bed dip down.

His arm wraps around me and he pulls me close to his chest; not only warm, but ready. "You awake?" He whispers, kissing my shoulder, splaying his hand across my lower stomach and pushing against me. And I hum. "It's been three days."

That it had. And I'd suffered through every single one of them- truly suffered; watching him coddle and take care of my sick son, expecting nothing in return. I don't care what anyone else says… a man willingly caring for a child is like the world's strongest aphrodisiac. And my loins had been worked up and weeping for him.

Turning in his arms, I go directly for his mouth, making it clear that I want his tongue. His moans only spur me to rise to my knees and straddle the tented, gray cotton below his waist. He feels so warm between my bare legs, so hard against my stomach. Kissing and nipping, we just savoring the taste until he flips us over, laying me on my back. Kneeling between my knees, his fingers run the length of my legs, to squeeze my hips, and dip under the waist of my panties. I rise as he slowly pulls them off, taking a sniff before throwing them to the side. And I giggle.

Men, and their underwear sniffing.

"What?" He asks, bending down, kissing along my inner thigh, and I can't even answer. I don't want him to stop. Spreading wider, I let him lick; wet me to the point of coming, and then push him back to his knees.

"I want you." Reaching for the band of his sweats, I pull them down and he pops out; long and hard, and weeping just like me. Sitting up, I take him into my mouth, doing him the same kindness; moaning as he flavors the back of my throat. I love it when he tangles his fingers into my hair, and holds the back of my head, as he quite literally, fucks my face. The longer we're together, the rougher he gets, and I like it.

Pulling himself from my mouth, he lifts my tank and lays me back down, lifting my hips as he pushes into me.

"Fuck!" We cry in unison as his hips slam into the flesh of my thighs. He gives me no time to recover as he starts to move, panting as he pounds between my spread legs.

I never thought I'd like it rough. Even though my fleeting fantasies always were, I never tried. But I do. I like it, and more than I realized, as I watch him struggle to anchor his feet; the muscled curve of his ass flex and relax, as he hammers into me.

"Fuck! Oh God, yeah; yeah."

His movement feral and greedy; he's not tender at all, as he growls above me. Spreading wider, I hold on to his bucking hips, panting and mewling as I come, and he stills, grunting as he twitches deep inside of me. Not even slightly weary of his weight, he drops his sweaty chest down onto mine.

"Damn." He sighs, breathing his hot breath on my neck, and I'm already ready to go again.

"Yeah."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"_You have to wait for this kid to pop out before you even consider walking down that aisle, Bella Cullen!" _Alice, Edward's sister, yells into the receiver. Once or twice a week had turned into daily, sometimes twice a day catch-up calls. The first time she scolded me using the name Cullen, I corrected her, but never since; not after she informed me that_, 'legal documentation or not, you are part of the family now, and for always, so you just had better get used to it, Bella Cullen.'_

Alice was sweet, and loving, and loyal, and a bit bossy. But, I would be lying if I said I didn't love it, and her. I loved her whole family.

"Okay, no _I do's _until the doc slaps that baby on the ass." I assure, and she breathes a noisy sigh of relief before jumping straight into acceptable venues and pre-approved, Fedex'ed swatches. She could plan the whole damn thing for all I care; right down to the color of insoles in my shoes. But I'm kissing him the way I want to kiss him.

"_I'm telling you, no one wants to see tongue. That's saved for porn videos, and the bedroom, Bella. Do not let me see your tongue."_

I smile even though she can't see me. It was impossible not to.

_Porn videos._

"Not even a little bit? What about ch-"

"_Do not say church tongue, Bella Cullen. I need to finish this hem, and Goddammit! Now I want to watch The Wedding Singer."_

I laugh into the receiver while she continues to curse me for my great taste in movies, and then finally lets me go, once she's decided she can't live without a tub of Rocky Road ice cream, and a piece of ham. And while I miss those days, I do not miss those cravings.

"Does she have our first born named yet?" Edward asks, making my stomach flip with the idea of bearing his babies. I never really thought to ask how he felt about having kids of his own.

"She gave me a list, said I could choose." Quietly chuckling, he looks over from under his lashes, before crossing the kitchen floor to give me a kiss.

With the weight of a new born baby on my mind, I stare at his thermal-tight chest, not sure if I should say anything. We hadn't even gotten married yet.

"What's up?"

"Nothing." I lie.

"It's not nothing." He insists, taking my chin and lifting it so I would look at him. "So what is it? You can tell me, you know. You can tell me anything."

We're quiet for a moment before he starts reading it the wrong way.

"Are you having second thoughts?"

That snaps me out of it. "God, no! No, I'm sorry, it's just.."

"It's just.." He encourages, bringing me in close for a hug, patiently waiting for me to tell him; always so patient.

"It's just.. it caught me off guard when you mentioned Alice naming our first born. And it got me thinking."

Swaying from side to side, I could feel him smile against my shoulder. "About?"

And he's going to make me say it.

_Goddammit._

"Babies."

"What about them?" He pushes, and I smile against him. He could be such a punk sometimes; cute, but a punk.

"Having them." I wait for him to say something, but he's quiet, too quiet. "Do you.. Do you, uh.. think about it?" I ask, needing him to say something, but not just anything. I need him to say yes.

"I think more about making them, but yeah, I think about that too."

"Yeah?" Pulling back, I look him in the eye.

"Yeah." Smirking, he kisses my lips before dipping down to run them along the length of my neck; his questioning breath hot against my skin.

"Why? You wanna make a baby with me, Bella?"

**Shiiiiiiiit... Talk of making babies makes my tummy tickle. What about you? Be sure to put The heart of country contest on alert! I'll be entering a o/s!Thanks for reading and reviewing! For some reason I couldn't save a line between the end of the story and then a/n.. idk. If it's there, ignore this. lol**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta SUNFLOWER3759 for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! Mistakes are my own.

Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!

* * *

**I'm trying something different with the first half of this chap. It's not exactly Seth's POV, but a secondhand telling of Seth's POV… I wouldn't dare try and tell you a story as a 5 year old. P.S. I know nothing about gaming systems, and all that entails. I just happened to get lucky with wiki : D You'll see..**

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Mrs. Uley's classroom was covered in pink from floor to ceiling, where the dangling, hearts hung from the speckled, ceiling tiles; not too high that it didn't catch your eye, and not to low that the children could reach and pull, and poke; not that they didn't try.

"Samuel Hale, what did I tell you, young man? Get down from on top of that desk."

Pull-out, plastic tables were lined along the classroom walls, covered in pink, paper mache, and an assortment of cakes, and candies, and fresh, store-bought cookies. And on top of each and every desk, there sat a homemade box; square, round, or rectangular in shape, and all with a thinly cut slot to collect the cards, made by their classmates especially for them, on this very special day.

Valentine's Day.

"Oh Seth Sweetie, who is this you have covering your box?" Mrs. Uley wondered aloud, stooping down to try and figure out what this unknown, action figure could possibly have to do with the holiday.

"Vincent Valentine." He said, as if it were self-explanatory, which really, in a way it was. Seth didn't have any patience for fancy frill, lavish lace and love. After all, he was only five years old, and a boy, and boys didn't do touchy feely.

His words.

"He's a Turk who fell in un-reckided love. He has red eyes, and wears a red cloak. They say he's a vampire because he sleeps in a coffin, but Angela doesn't believe it. She says real vampires wouldn't need a gun." Seth explained, exchanging the classic, Eerie Black for a more festive, Ruby Red crayon, before getting back to work on his drawing.

Mrs. Uley wasn't sure where to begin. Not only had she never heard of this Vincent Valentine, but she had no clue who this Angela was either. Maybe correcting his grammar was the way to go; being sure he had meant 'unrequited.'

"Okay, well, who's Angela, Sweetie?" She asked, noting that the character donned no visible weapons, and breathed a silent sigh of relief. She hated the idea of tainting the innocence of a child, by reprimanding any independent thought, or respectable creativity.

Trying to stay inside the lines, Seth's eyes never left the blood-red heart he had pierced with a straight, black arrow. "Angela's my babysitter; she comes over when Mom and Edward go on dates."

She was also an odd soul, who when not babysitting the terrible two, could be found glued to her chosen, video-game console. She knew the inner workings of every massive, multiplayer online, role-playing game; more commonly known as an MMORPG. And when Seth had mentioned that he didn't want to cover his Valentine's Day box with flowers, hearts, or anything of the sort, an ingenious, light bulb went off in her clever, techie head.

"She said he was perfect for my Valentine's Day box."

With an affirming nod, Mrs. Uley had to agree; red – _check_, love, albeit unrequited – _check_… _and it happened way too often_. She had to hand it to this Angela; even his name hit the nail on the holiday's head.

"I agree Seth, he's perfect." Smiling, she straightened and tousled his hair, before moving on to the next desk; leaving Seth with a booming sense of pride. All the children put more stock into what she thought than she would probably ever realize. Not only was she kind and smart, but beautiful; especially to a child's observant eye.

And even though Seth was only five and a boy, and didn't care for touchy feely things, he still knew when a girl was pretty. He felt it in his chest; a tight pull, just like his cheeks when he smiled too wide, or the burn of his strained breath, after he ran too fast for too long. The reactions were familiar, yet foreign, and he didn't care for them much. He didn't care to be around the girly girls who made him feel that way, so when Alexa Ateara started following him around the playground, he had taken her hat, in hopes that she would stop and leave him alone. But as it turns out, he had no such luck, in fact, it had only made matters worse.

"Hi, Seth."

He cringed with her coo. Her voice sounded like the far-off tinkling of the town, church bells, and his heart fluttered. He thought of her every Sunday at nine and noon.

"Hi, _A-lex-a_…" He mumbled, rolling his eyes for effect.

She giggled.

"I like your box, who is that?" She asked, tracing the wavy outline of Vincent's cloak. Not having the patience to explain again, he only huffed; murmuring the character's name under his breath, before scooting the box to the far side of his desk. Alexa didn't seem to notice his apparent discomfort, as she handed him a little, white envelope; the sealing, heart sticker asking what she was too shy to.

_'Be my Valentine?'_

Without answering, or opening the card, Seth slid it into the slit in the top of his box, before reaching down to fish through his plastic sack, pulling out a masked, Tootsie Pop; it's colorful cape reading – _Have a Super Valentine's Day!_

That was another one of Angela's, ingenious ideas.

"Thank you, Seth."

Plucking the sucker from Seth's outstretched hand, Alexa smiled, planting a firm kiss on his cheek; not offended in the slightest when he wiped it off on his shoulder. She just giggled, skipping back to her seat, where she giggled some more, whispering into the ear of Katie Crowley.

Seth never understood why they giggled so much; always giggling, when nothing was funny. _What was the point?_

Ignoring the two, silly girls, he turned his attention back to the picture on his desk, filling in the rest of the pierced heart. He couldn't wait to give it to his mother, who always appreciated his colorful works of art; the brighter, the better. And he was sure this had earned its place on the refrigerator, right next to his prized, green dog.

Determined to stay inside the lines, he lightly bit his protruding tongue. And as soon as the last of the crème- colored paper was covered, he breathed a sigh of relief; finishing just as Mrs. Uley opened the classroom door, letting the parents file in.

His mom and Edward were the first of only a few, and mostly just mothers; holding hands and smiling before they even saw him. They were always smiling, always holding hands. And he wondered why none of the other dads were ever around like Edward had always been; not that he was his father, he knew that he wasn't, but that didn't mean he didn't want him to be. It didn't mean that he didn't want to call him that, because he did. He found himself often slipping, having to think before he spoke. After all, neither one of them said calling Edward 'Dad' would be okay. He often wondered if it would.

"Hey Baby, happy Valentine's Day!" His mother cooed, kissing the top of his head, before Edward's expected tousle. He tried not to cringe and recoil, tried not to groan in protest as they both unnecessarily doted, making him feel uncomfortable. He was too old to be called _'Baby_', too old to be kissed, and coddled; especially in front of his friends; especially, in front of _Alexa_.

Instead, he picked up his heart and handed it to his mother, wishing her a happy Valentine's Day, before sliding out of his desk and leading them both to the treats.

Once they each had a plate full, they made their way around the room, partaking in every activity; matching cut-out cupids, and piecing together the broken hearts. And before they knew it, it was time to go.

Gathering all of Seth's belongings, they grabbed a few, sweet treats for the trip, before bidding Mrs. Uley goodbye; barely making it out the door, before Alexa caught Seth by the wrist, trying to give him one, last, Valentine's Day kiss. Dodging, he pulled away and she missed, chasing him down the hall, her mother running after; apologizing profusely for her daughter's, unsavory, yet hilarious behavior.

"This is so unlike her." She panted, pulling the giggly girl back toward the classroom. "Must be the sugar."

And that, it very well could have been, seeing as the walk home was more of a light jog. With Sam and Seth all hopped up on that inanity-inducing sugar, they were set free to let loose; run and yell, sweating it out of their systems before poor Angela came over to watch them.

No way, she had plans of her own.

Giggly, little Alexa was far from forgotten, as Sam teased, pushing Seth on the tire swing, just missing his warning kick to _'shut up or go home'_. And being best friends, Sam knew the threat was empty, as he jumped onto the round rubber, causing them both to laugh. And as Angela pulled her yellow, '78 Gremlin into the drive, it was Seth's turn to return the good-hearted tease.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Edward

Bella always looks beautiful; no make-up, sans shower. She's woken with her hair a fright, streaky- black eyeliner trailing down her face, even dried drool, pooled on the side of her kissable mouth. And still, she always manages to look beautiful.

Always.

So it's not really fair to say she looks _especially_ beautiful in this red, satin dress; the slit cut up to there on her smooth, creamy thigh. But the fact that I can't breathe whenever I look at her, well... that's saying something.

"I thought you made the reservation, Emmett! Didn't you make the reservation?" Rose squawks, shaming Emmett in front of the crowded restaurant, as the hostess shows us to an area where we are _'more than welcome to wait'_. Rose just frowns, while Emmett tries to apologize about making us starve on this very, special night. But I can't bring myself to care, as I cuddle Bella from behind, sneaking a peek – or flat-out staring – down the deep 'V' of her neckline. We could be seated on the ground out in the dirty, back alley, being served scraps out of the smelly dumpster, and I wouldn't care. As long as she's there, I don't care. And I hope I'll always feel that way.

"Maybe we should just go home."

"Bu-"

"Really Rose, it's no big deal; these heels are killing me anyway." Adjusting her shoe for effect, Bella insists, not really one to dress up and go out. I knew she was dying to get home and slip into something more comfortable. And I was dying to slip into _her_.

"All right then, you guys have a good night. And we'll be over to pick up Sam soon."

Shaking her head, Bella offers to keep Sam for the night, probably figuring they need the time more than we do. And I couldn't agree more. Hopefully Emmett could pull through, and still get lucky by the end of the night. After the flowers, and chocolates, and one, overpriced set of Mauviel pans, I knew I was in no danger of missing out on _my_ gift - being buried deep, between Bella's creamy thighs; as long as the boys kept each other in good company, and there was a sturdy lock on the door.

On the drive home, I played with the high-cut slit of her dress; tracing along the edge of the silky satin; that in no way competed with her skin. Always so soft; my fingers slid smoothly along the tease of her thigh; reminding me of the pretty, purple petals of her favorite flower; the same ones I got her.

"Pull off here."

Taken off guard, I hit the brake, turning the wheel a little too rough, and she yelps. "And here I thought it would do some good to warn you first."

Her laughter is low, as she leans across the console, running her hand up the inside of my thigh. "A little further up the road; there's an opening, and you can stop there." Her breath is hot against my neck, distracting me from the narrow path. The bowing branches of the surrounding, Cypress trees scratch the sides of the car. And while I'm a little worried about the well-preserved paint job, I'm already hard when she grabs my dick, rubbing her palm along the outside of my slacks. Subtly adjusting, I resist the urge to buck, letting her little hand work me over. The windows fog with my heated pants; as if it weren't already hard enough to see. With a quick twitch of my dick and familiar tightening of my balls, I'm just ready to burst when she suddenly just stops.

"Stop!"

Slamming on the brakes again, I look up to see the shimmering waves of a deep, dark, body of water; realizing I nearly drove us straight into a lake. "Shit." Putting the car in park, I run my hands over my face, trying to calm my wildly beating heart; thinking maybe we should just drive separately from now on. But Bella has different ideas, as she gives me no time to recover; popping the button of my pants, and lowering the zipper, pulling my leaking dick free. "Oh, fuck." Her mouth is consuming; pleasantly warm and wet, as she takes me all the way in. "Fuck, Bella."

Eyes fluttering, I lay the seat back, grabbing her hair to watch, as she bobs and licks; her pooling saliva glistening in the filtered moonlight. Always so enthusiastic, I nearly come, as she hollows- out her cheeks, slurping up what leaks out.

_That-a-girl; always so enthusiastic._

Whimpering, I seek out her warm mouth, as she hikes up her dress, climbing onto my lap, and sinking down, swallowing me again. Salty-sweet, her tongue finds mine, and we both swallow the other's moans. Her little hands grip my shoulders, and I start to move; grabbing her hips, as I buck up into tight, sopping heat. Holding her close, I let her rub, meeting her thrust for every, short thrust. Crazy, I babble against her ear, telling her how I love her, I need her, yes, yes, yes, and fuck, fuck, fuck! I tell her how she's it for me, all I'll ever need, ever want, ever. And when I tell her to come, she does. That simple plea is all she needs to find her release, and milk me for mine; the tingle in my toes, shooting up to my soaking balls. And as I come, I growl out her name; barely breathing, as I lean forward, attacking her pretty mouth. Tears pooling, they prickle at the edge of my eyes.

_Fuck._

I'm not sure why, but this time feels different, we feel different; not better, just different, maybe more. And I pull her close, holding her tight until I slide out. "Wow.." I dumbly say, and she nods, kissing my lips one last time, before climbing back into the passenger seat.

"Yeah."

Without saying another word, I buckle up and put the car in drive, backing out the way I came in. I reach for her hand, placing it on my thigh, before touching her thigh, her arm, and then grabbing her hand again. I'm touching her everywhere; everywhere, just needing to touch her, to be close; so much closer than I can be while driving this Godforsaken car. See, this is what I mean; separate cars.

_Fuck!_

When we pull up, the house is dark, except for Seth's bedroom window. "Looks like they're still up."

Nodding, I kiss the back of her hand, before getting out of the car and jogging around to help her out. Her hand's in mine, before we hit the steps. And I'm ready for her again, once we're at the door; always ready. I can't help myself as I back her up against it. "I want you again, I always want you." I tell her, running my lips along her slender neck, feeling her pulse quicken under the pressure of my mouth. A sudden urge to bite her slams into the pit of my stomach, and I groan.

The phrase _good enough to eat_ comes to mind, and I chuckle against her skin.

_God, I could just eat her._

_I could._

_Fuck!_

"What's so funny?" She asks, and I huff.

"Nothing, just going crazy."

Pulling back, she smiles. "Why do you say that?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. You drive me crazy."

"How so?" Her pretty browns dart eye to eye, and I'm not sure how to explain what I feel, what I always feel when I'm around her.

Always.

"Have you ever felt like you couldn't get enough, just can't get close enough?"

She nods.

"This heaviness sits deep down, in the pit of my stomach, like if I can't hold you any closer, I might die." Running my hand along her waist, my palm spans her belly. "Right here," I say, pressing lightly. "I can feel my heart beating. It's almost as strong as the pounding in my chest. It beats for you, Bella."

For too long, she's quiet; the shining white of her eyes twinkling in the star-lit night. And I'm starting to feel like ass for saying anything when she blinks; a single tear trailing her rosy, red cheek, before she wipes it away.

"I love you." Is all she gets to say, before the door is wrenched open, putting an end to the heartfelt confession.

"Wow, you guys eat fast! How was dinner?" Angela asks, poking her head out the door, before pulling it open. As soon as we're inside, Bella kicks off her heels, going into how we barely made it into the restaurant, before turning around and coming back. I listen to their fading conversation as I head for the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

Shimmying out of my jacket, I pop stiff buttons, shedding the stuffy duds in exchange for my gray sweats – Bella's favorite. She's never said, but I could tell; the eyes said it all. And her eyes liked these.

"Hey, Edward?"

Looking up, I find Seth, half asleep, as he stumbles over, tripping on his footie pajamas.

"Hey Bud, what's up? Can't sleep?" I ask, and he shakes his head, climbing up beside me to sit on the bed. He's too cute, as he rests his head against me, snuggling into my side. I pull him back with me, so I can lean against the headboard.

_Much better._

Looking down, I give him my full attention, as I play with the ends of his hair. Bella had been talking about cutting it, but I preferred the growing shag.

"Can your heart smile?"

His question catches me off guard, and I barely hold back a laugh.

"Why do you ask?"

Shrugging, he looks away, and I wrack my brain for what to say. I wasn't sure why he was asking. _Had he heard it somewhere? Had someone told him this? Had he felt something?_

"Can you tell me what you mean? Did somebody tell you that, or did you feel something, here?" I point to his chest, and he nods.

"You felt something?"

He nods again.

"What did you feel? Did it hurt?"

He shakes his head. "No, it feels… funny."

And now I'm worried that he has a condition, and maybe I should get Bella, but then he explains. "It's only when Alexa says she likes my pictures, or is standing too close, or chases me around. It feels like my cheeks when I do this." He squints, smiling wide, showing me his bright, white teeth. And this time, I don't hold back, barking out a loud laugh. His ornery giggle lets me know he's not offended.

"Well, that's what it sounds like to me, Bud. Alexa is definitely making your heart smile."

Smiling again, he places his hand on top of my chest, right above the organ in question. "Does my mom make your heart smile?" He asks, and I melt, feeling the pooling prickle of those damn tears. This kid never ceases to amaze me; the way he puts things, how he thinks; so honest and innocent. Kissing his forehead, I nod against him, swallowing the rising burn. My heart not only smiles, but beats, bleeds; it weeps. I love him and his mother more than words could ever say; more than they could ever know.

And I always will.

"Yeah Bud, you and your mom both make my heart smile."

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**Happy Valentines Day!**

**There will only be one or two more chaps before this story will come to an end, just letting you know, so you can prepare for those two, final words. If I haven't heard from you yet, I would love to hear from you now! Your words mean more to me than you'll ever know, I can't stress it enough… Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, situations, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you to my wonderfully talented beta SUNFLOWER3759 for being the best beta out there! I love you with all of my heart and couldn't have done this without you and your support! Just know that I really appreciate you and everything you do for me! Mistakes are my own.

Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I read and cherish each and every one!

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******By your leave, Sir / Ma'am: **Marine term definition – Stated when overtaking a senior officer in rank proceeding in the same direction.

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**Dr. Banner**

**Edward **

"It's been a while since I've seen you two. How have you been?" Sitting opposite, in his shabby, suede chair, Dr. Banner smiles, clasping his calloused hands; only now do I know all he had done and continues to do to earn them. He really was an amazing man; one who loved, and cared, and saw, and said things no one else could. And we – Bella and I, have come to him a couple of times since taking our relationship to the next level, simply for that reason.

While we love each other very much, we're still human and sometimes still have difficulty with communication, just like everyone else. But ever since Alice popped out that wedding-stalling baby, Bella's been acting distant, unsure. She's been indecisive about the smallest things, and I want to make sure _she's_ sure, that this is what she wants, that she's happy.

"How about your family, Edward, has Bella and Seth met them?" Dr. Banner asks, and I realize he hasn't heard.

"Uh yes, I flew them out for Christmas. We're actually all going on vacation together to Washington D.C. for Memorial Day. We thought it would be nice to have everyone together when Seth visits Jake for the first time."

"And, I actually asked Bella to marry me a few weeks back." His face lights up.

"That's why we're here. We've been having some difficulty discussing the wedding and how she's feeling. I've noticed her growing somewhat distant, not talking to me like she used to. And I can't help think it's because of Jake, ya know? I mean, it's progress that she's admitted, out loud, that Jake is an important part of their lives, but I think she still holds some guilt when talking about him, and I don't want her to. I want her to realize that I _want_ to know about Jake. And I want her to understand that I know she had a past; that she loved before me, and that's okay." Turning towards Bella, I offer her a small smile, letting her know I mean it; hoping she really hears me.

"Bella, do you still feel guilt when thinking or talking about Jake?" Dr. Banner asks, taking her attention.

"A little, maybe," She starts, licking her lips, before wiping the edge. "I don't want Edward to ever feel like I'm comparing the two of them. They are two, completely, different people, and I love them both." Adjusting on her side of the small couch, she stills, and that's when I feel her cool hand in mine. Looking up, I find her brown eyes on me. "It's sometimes difficult to wrap your head around; the what-ifs are staggering at times… Like, what if Jake didn't die? Maybe, I wouldn't have met you, and I can't imagine not having met you. But then again, if Jake didn't die, and I still met you, what would have happened then?" Turning her attention back to Dr. Banner, she squeezes my hand, and I squeeze hers back; letting her know that I'm here with her; that I hear what she's saying, and that it's okay; it'll always be okay. "It's hard not to feel guilty when thinking about these things. And, I don't just feel guilt over Jake; I feel guilt over Edward, too."

Nodding, Dr. Banner leans forward in his chair, telling her exactly what she needs to hear; what we both need to hear.

"Bella, it's perfectly understandable that you would feel this way. There will always be what-ifs in our lives, but how we deal with the guilt that we feel is what matters. Talking it through is a good start; it can help." Tilting his head toward me, he continues to address her, only briefly offering me his kind, supportive eyes. "From what I hear from Edward, he hears you when you speak about your feelings. He does not judge you. He supports you despite the guilt you feel, and you deserve that support. You deserve to be happy." He tells her, letting it sink in before asking the only thing that matters. "Are you happy, Bella?"

Holding my breath, I look over at her, finding her looking over at me, _my_ smile on her beautiful face. And with no hesitation, she nods.

"Yes, I'm happy; I'm unbelievably happy."

**.**

**.**

_**~*byl*~**_

**.**

**.**

**May 28, 2012**

**Memorial Day**

_**Bella**_

The warm spring breeze whips at the hem of my white, summer dress as I stand at the foot of Jake's grave; holding Seth's hand firmly in mine as we read the words engraved on the military, sanctioned headstone.

**Jacob Ephraim Black**

**PVT**

**US Marine Corps**

**Jan 23 1987**

**Dec 10 2005**

**Purple Heart**

No beloved husband, son, and father; no words to let the world know what he had meant to us; to me.

His marker was plain, white granite, and rectangular in shape; a far cry from who Jake was. But the sun was shining brighter than it had ever shown, and I took it as a sign of peace and acceptance; a sign that he was still with us; always would be.

"Are you going to marry Edward, Mom?" Seth's question catches me off guard. We hadn't sat him down to have that conversation yet, so there was no way he could have known that Edward had proposed.

"Where did you hear that, Baby?" I kneel down to Seth's level, and brush the hair from his eyes. He needed a haircut in the worst way, but Edward wouldn't have it; said he liked the shag.

"Grandpa Billy was talking to Aunt Sue on the phone, and said that Edward asked you to marry him; said it was _'bout damn time.'_ So, are you?" Glaring over at Billy, he's oblivious to the fact that he's blown the surprise, which was really no_ surprise_. The mouthy man needed to learn to watch what he said, and where he said it when little ears were around.

"Would it be okay if I married Edward, Baby?" I ask, and Seth grabs a piece of my hair blowing in the wind, pushing it behind my ear.

The makings of a natural heartbreaker, this one.

And I can't help but feel sorry for all the girls that he will encounter. They stand no chance; none whatsoever.

"Yeah, it's okay if you marry Edward, as long as it's okay that I call him Dad. Can I call him, Dad?" Pointing to Jake's marker, Seth whispers, "Do you think he would care?" And I swallow back the ache of the burning tears that threatened to fall.

"No, Seth. I don't think he would mind if you called Edward 'Dad'. Edward loves you very much, and your father knows that; he would be happy." Seth smiles, and wraps his arms around my neck. It's the longest he's hugged me in a long time, and I bask in it.

"Hey, are you guys ready to go? Charlie's hungry, and he's getting cranky, and I'm in no mood to deal with it. It's too hot out here. Is anybody else hot? They need more shade. They need to plant more trees." Billy rambles as Edward walks up to us, placing his hand on the back of my head.

"Can I have a minute alone with Jake? Would that be okay?" Nodding, I stand, and take Seth's hand.

"I'll only be a minute." Placing a kiss to my forehead, he bends to kiss the top of Seth's head, and we leave Edward at the foot of Jake's grave.

**.**

**.**

_**~*byl*~**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Edward**_

Watching as Bella and Seth embrace, I notice this is the longest he's held her, and I know what she's thinking; the exact same thing.

She talks about it a lot; how Seth used to cling to her; how she wanted that again, and I wanted it for her. I wanted it for me, too.

On the day she found out she was pregnant, I just held her as she cried for what seemed like hours, assuring me that they were happy tears. And I, well, I was over the moon.

For days I thought a lot about Jake; the life he had lost in order for me to find mine. And it didn't seem right to me that I hadn't paid my respects or thanked him. I owed him my happiness. And he deserved acknowledgement; he deserved respect. And I was going to show him that in the only way I knew how.

Walking up to Bella and Seth, I place my hand at the back of her head, nervously clear my throat, "Can I have a minute alone with Jake? Would that be okay?" Nodding, Bella stands, and takes Seth's hand. "I'll only be a minute." I assure, placing a kiss to Bella's forehead before bending to kiss the top of Seth's head. Sweat and warm sunshine, I breathe it in, smiling when I think about those adoption papers Bella and I were having drawn up; and soon to be signed. And once they're at a distance, I stand at ease, clasping a shaking hand around my wrist.

Laid open and bare at the foot of this brave man's grave, I've never been more nervous; not even when I had sat opposite 'the intimidating Charlie Swan', stuttering out my request for his blessing to marry his beautiful daughter. And that was done while looking down the clean, barrel of his disassembled gun.

_What to say…_

_What to say…_

It teetered on the tip of my tongue, and clearing my throat once more, I finally work up enough nerve to say what I've always needed to; what he deserved to hear; to know.

"Jacob Black, Edward Cullen here. I wanted to pay my respects, and thank you for the sacrifice you made, for not only your country, but for me. Bella and Seth are my life now, and I will take care of them; I swear to it. I swear to it with all my heart to love Bella the way a husband is meant to love a wife; the way you were meant to love her. And, I swear with all my soul to love Seth the way a father is meant to love a son; the way you were meant to love him. And although I can never replace you, I will proudly take your place." Voice breaking, I clear my throat once more, before standing at attention.

And, I salute.

"By your leave, Sir."

**.**

**.**

_**~*byl*~**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

Twilight – there really wasn't a more beautiful time of day to be standing at the altar, clasping my sweating hands, wringing them dry with bottled excitement.

Alice had it right when she flew in, changing every, last detail at the very, last minute; canceling every, last booked plan, stressing Bella to no end. She really knew what she was doing when she high-tailed it to the nearest Supercenter, buying them out of every, last, gold set of twinkling lights, stringing them through the bowing trees along the blushing, white peonies.

She flawlessly took care of everything; always did. And right now she was dealing with Seth's hushed fit, explaining for the umpteenth time, that the peonies, currently wrapped around the rope of his tire swing, were an important part of the ambience; that they were for show, and would be gone by tomorrow. _"So shush handsome, and hold on tight to that pillow."_

Hearing a change in the recorded music, I look up, and my amused, chuckles cease.

Standing at the end of the petal-strewn aisle, her distant beauty takes my shaky breath away. Creamy skin, covered in a silky slip of white, I vaguely recall that red, satin dress, and how it wasn't fair to say she looked especially beautiful, because Christ, did she.

Time stood still, as she slowly walked towards me, barefoot and blushing. And I smiled at her refusal to wear those pesky heels; swearing them off forever – not on her wedding day, no, and never again, much to Alice's pouty disappointment.

She's amazing, and it's a step above amazing that I kept from crying; kept from breaking down and hugging her swollen middle, right there in front of everyone.

I was the luckiest man in the world.

So lucky to not have known what I wanted to do with my life; entering the service to be shaped and shot, only to be shipped off to an unknown corner of the world in order to find my place in it; in order to find the one place I truly belong.

Right here; right here in her arms.

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**The End**

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**Thank you so much for joining me on this fulfilling journey into the extended lives of these three. They were super sweet and I think gave us all our fair share of toothaches at times. I'll miss them and I'll miss you! Hope to see you all again soon!**

**And hey, did you hear about Taste of the Forbidden II? You do realize my baby 'In Mates' was birthed for the first round, right? Well, run over there and put it on alert, there's sure to be some super sexy o/s' posting soon ;) **

**And don't forget about The Heart of Country Contest! Voting begins has commenced! **

**Lastly, I'm looking for any fics where Bella is from the slums/poverty/wrong side of the tracks. Good one's where she MEETS Edward - please note the emphasis on the meets. He could be a mechanic, firefighter, cop - undercover or otherwise. Bottom line is I want her to be strong, yet unfortunate, and him to be blue collar. Think Fast and Furious with less racin' and more lovin'. And hey, if that happens to be yours, pimp- yo-self, by all means. Thanks!**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**


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